Emergency hearing!

I received notice in the mail from the GAL of two things~

1) An Emergency hearing is slated for April 13th! So now we have to get the Paternity test done this week! YIKES! I thought I had more time to get the $$$ together for it. SIGH!

2) The GAL is withdrawing as the GAL on our case. I have no clue where this puts us. Seems like we are at the mercy of court right now. I'm praying for an ending to this mess before the end of the year.

STBX has an agenda to do nothing more then lie about the abuse and he says I was abusive... Firstly anyone that knows me can tell that is not true. Second I have witnesses to abuse whether verbal, emotional and so on... He admitted on numerous occassions that he was sorry for mistreatment. I'm so done with this mess!

A friend I talked to told me I needed to forgive myself for leaving my son, I do feel burdened with guilt about that. Also she said I have low self esteem issues that I really need to rediscover myself and realize that I am a good person. I also am very low about my looks. STBX pounded into me many times that I was ugly, stupid,  a disgusting pig, wetback, spic, whore, etc... You get the picture. I need to make a list of short term goals for business, both my Doula and crafts. Both I have been sitting on for some reason. And I need to make a new vision board. Now for my laundry and then some houseclean up.

Tomorrow I will work on making appointments for the Paternity test.