Not every one needs to leave if they are hit

Now before you jump down my throat, hear me out.

In some cases there are incidents where there is the "One" time when someone loses it and flips their lid. Whether it be in a fit of rage or what have you. I have met a few people in my time where they're mate had one of those "lost it" moments and they never had another again. Depending on the severity of the event and the effects of those involved many of those people choose to stay with the person.

Letting them know that if it happens again they can leave or the other would leave. Oh I have had a moment of just losing it time's. I think everyone has. Whether you say something or do something really dumb. This blog is actually dedicated to the abuse that happens on a consistant and regular basis.

If you partner has a bad day and vents. No it's not right, and it's never right to lash out physically or emotionally. It is personal judgement that needs to used in each incident to decide if this is a one time deal or a total deal breaker for you.

I'm inclined to say if any relationship can be salvaged from DV that is awesome! The small percentage of those that do salvage them is so small and tiny.

There can be hope.

It won't happen over night.

It is not a quick fix to repair months or years of abuse.

It is a process that all involved MUST be on board for. All MUST be open for communicating with a counselor or support group.

It MUST be ok for everyone to vent openly and unafraid of the ramifications of the emotions and words/statements that come up.

AND most IMPORTANTLY~ He/She MUST want to change! Not to change they're mind a few days later and start all over.

So if you are ditching Mr/Mrs Wonderful because of one slip, think about it. If you are thinking of ditching your long term abuser, no one can tell you when the perfect time to leave is. There never is and if you don't just jump, you may never do it.

How much can you take?

How long do you want your children/friends/family to see you like this?

*If you need a Safety plan please check out my tags for this*

As always God bless and stay safe!

Violence is an EXCLUSIVE GROUP and CLUB!

 Join the most secretive group around!

No fee's!

Membership is exclusive!

What's the catch you ask?!

Why it will cost you:

Your dignity

Your self esteem

Your self worth

Friends

Family

A pattern of violence (physical, mental, emotional) for your children

PTSD
And the possibility of losing your life

Sound like something you want to join?

Many men, women and children didn't ask to become a member. They suffer in silence, enduring harsh situations and wishing for an end.

Sadly many have become long term members of violence only to then hang their pictures in the wall of lost hope and untimely death.

Christian Choate-
 http://www.ky3.com/news/ktla-christian-choate-boy-in-cage,0,1122385.story

Josh Hilberling-
http://www.whas11.com/news/national/Man-dies-in-alleged-spousal-abuse-case-123830944.html






http://askville.amazon.com/Charlotte-woman-dies-domestic-violence-case/AnswerViewer.do?requestId=66656848

http://www.wmctv.com/story/15137364/domestic-violence-suspect-shoots-at-police

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2011/04/mom-drives-minivan-into-hudson-river-drowning-herself-and-3-kids-/1

http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-mom-kills-baby-in-microwave,0,3035847.story

These are just a few stories in the mix of thousands that have occured over the years. Many popular stories are those of the now infamous Casey Anthony, Andrea Yates, Scott Peterson and Drew Peterson.

The stories are horrifying, true and so unimaginable. I'm disgusted and appalled by the lack of reason and lack of justice for the victims of these senseless crimes. Yet many are continually subjected to suffer in silence daily. The stories above are extreme and horrible. But sadly to say these are the times we live in. Where is the humanity? Where is the justice for these victims?

This is an exclusive club which at times is glamorized by Hollywood cashing in on tragic circumstances when it happens to one of them. Oh sure it's nice that it's brought to our attention but when those 5 mins of noterity fade we are once again left with countless victims afraid to speak out before it's too late.

No you don't have to be beaten, raped or killed in order to suffer from Domestic violence. Words hurt as much as a fist. You can easily cut someone to pieces with a few mere words and say them over and over to the victim they believe them.Victims of verbal abuse can be led to think they are crazy, stupid, dumb, useless, etc... Assaulting with words can drive a person mad enough to take they're lives or the lives of others.

Still want to join the club? Or just to be a supporter by watching or standing by while someone suffers in silence? Please get help for someone that is a victim of violence! You maybe the only hope they have left. In many cases you can file a report without having to leave your name.

And if you are a victim, get out and leave as soon as you can before it's too late...
National Domestic Violence Hotline- http://www.thehotline.org/   800-799-SAFE

There is hope.

No excuses! There are shelters and organizations to help you if you are a victim! Don't be a statistic and don't wait until it's too late.

God bless and stay safe!

The many faces of abuse

You maybe surprised at those that stand up when asked if they are abused, whether physically, emotionally, sexually and so on... Old, young , middle-age, teenager, White, Latin, Black,and so on. They are rich, poor and middle class. Your neighbor, your Grandparent, your aunt, uncle, cousin, your son/daughter or even you!

Stereotyping someone that is abused is just as bad as thinking all substance abusers look the same or come from the same backgrounds. Or all homeless persons are just mentally ill. No matter what the background, anyone can become in a situation that is not healthy. That woman down the street with 3 kids maybe smiling each time you see her but if you look closely she is hiding some scars or that elderly man seen on rare occassions seems like a grumpy person, but you don't know the kids are yelling or hitting him every chance they take and he steals time outdoors as though he were a child out after dark.

There is no typical background, race or age for abuse! Many can fall victim easily. Not all abusers are substance users, not all abusers are the same or follow the same pattern.

When you look closely at the sea of faces before you in a given day do you honestly know someone that is abused? Have you seen the signs and just put on blinders? Or perhaps you just tell yourself it's not my problem. I don't want to get involved...

You can break the silence! Lend a helping hand! If you need more information on how to help call The National Domestic Abuse Hotline-
1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY)Anonymous & Confidential Help 24/7