Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Small steps to healing after an abusive relationship

After you leave an abuser there is a time of growth if you put in the work. You will see signs of abuse from others around you. Toxic people will seem to come out of the walls. What is happening is an awakening in you! This is a good thing! Now it won't happen overnight. Part of figuring it all out is digging deep within and learning how to fight fair, how to handle difficult people, healing yourself and children. 

Now there are some victims/Survivors that never seem to break free of the cycle and they end up repeating the mistakes they made in previous relationships. This can get passed down to the next generation. Or there can be bitterness and brokeness that never heals causing the victim/Survivor to have an attitude of "Nothing ever goes right or I always choose losers or even that they will never find anyone that will treat them right."

The wonderful news is that it doesn't have to be that way! Making tiny changes in your life daily can make a HUGE impact going forward. You can do this without breaking the bank! I promise! How?

Search out podcasts, blogs, online groups, books (visit your local library to take out books or request books! Visit second-hand stores, or yard sales for discounted books), and videos (Hit YouTube Baby!)that deal with abuse but don't stop there! Sometimes these can get pretty heavy so take a break from those. There could be triggers in various posts or what you see or hear just may continue to open your wounded heart. So, step back and listen/read motivational posts or memoirs. 

Shake it up with watching something funny. I love watching older comedies that I don't have to worry about the content being too edgy (bad words or sexual scenes). You can find me catching I love Lucy, The Carol Burnette Show, Golden Girls, Fresh Prince, Friends, and there are more.  

Turn on the radio and dance! If you have littles, have them busta move with you!

Grab some paper and pen and start journaling. A recent guest on my podcast, Dyanne Kelley shared that setting the timer for as little as 5 minutes can help you learn much about yourself. Find that here-Dyanne Kelley of Soulfire Woman

Get outside kick off your shoes and ground yourself! As little as 15 minutes a day you can recharge your body! This can help with anxiety, health challenges, and can be a mood booster. 

Find your tribe! Kick those naysayers to the curb. This may mean you disconnect with long-time "friends" or family members. Connect with local support groups or online groups to make positive connections. 

Pick up a new hobby or dust off an old one!

Get out and travel! Just grab the kids/furbaby, and hit the road. Even if it's just an hour away. Sometimes a change of scenery can work wonders. Hitting the beach or lake can be rejuvenating as well. 

These are all simple steps you can take back your life. As time goes on (finances too!)consider going to counseling, volunteering at a shelter to share your story, joining motivational/empowerment workshops or retreats.

In other news, I have been busy with bringing experts and Survivors of abuse to you! You can find these on my YouTube channel, or the video section of Hope when there was none and Melinda Kunst

There is a mighty group of Survivors that I started a bit ago. It is closed and for women only to help with building up your spirit. Many are from various stages of recovery some are still trapped but planning on leaving others have made leaps and bounds with their healing journey. I invite you to join us here- Hope when there was none group


Whatever your journey, know that I am cheering you on! Stay safe and stay strong!

Love ya,
Mel