It's done!

I can't believe my pages are on here! I felt a swirling rush of emotions as I posted the last chapters. None of them had been proofread by anyone, so I apologize for any errors.

I feel a big sense of relief getting most of those haunting memories on paper. I am not done writing, I have so many other cobwebs in my mind that need cleaning out!

Thank all of those that have been on this journey with me for well over 5 years in blog land, it is much appreciated.

I pray that whatever stage you are at in your situation ,that you find peace, comfort, strength, hope and faith to keep going. Know this, it's not easy. breaking up never is.  It does not matter whether the person you are with is calling you names, raising a hand to you or what have you, abuse is abuse.

If this person is your child, parent, partner, or relative, it's never okay to abuse another.

I have mentioned how God has played a critical role in my life and even at my darkest I knew it would be okay.

Before you push the notion of a being aside that you can not see, think about this.

Can you see air around you? How can you doubt something you can not see? I can go deeper and deeper about the subject and I'm not looking to convert everyone. I would like to plant a seed in your mind about the possibility of the unseen world around you.

I don't believe in chance. I believer things and people happen or come into your life at critical times in your life. It can be a stranger, someone you have known for years or just seeing something that reminds you of a person that has passed.

Know this, you are loved unconditionally by a God that will take you as you are! Broken, tired, scared, lonely, angry or just plain in need of a friend. All you have to do is ask God to come into your heart! Confess that you are a sinner and ask for forgiveness.

Your situation may seem very BIG, but for God, this is the small stuff. Leave your burdens and worries at His feet. You have to have patience! Prayer and situations work in His time not ours. Though I know I have a reminder of myself being impatient, stomping my feet at the situation I was in, wanting what I wanted "NOW!", but knowing I had to let go and let God. (Cliche I know but so true!)

My Friend if you are reading this you or someone you know may/is in a abusive situation. Please get help! It's okay to let others know that the life you are in is scary. Now, this is where your faith comes in!

You need to know you can live the life you are dreaming about. Peace, safety, true love, normalcy.

If you need to talk about any of the topics in my blog please do not hesitate to drop me a line. I am most readily available at blessmeplz@gmail.com.

God bless and stay safe!

Sticks and stones

How often do recall either hearing those words or saying those words to others? Growing up I heard them and said them. Now as a Mother I still say them. Now believing them is entirely another thing.

As I say the words out loud, they sound empowering! But in reality, words do hurt. They hurt worse then a punch in some cases. I've had the wind knocked out of me by both fists and by words. For some reason as bad as it was words hurt more.

I've made other blogs about such here. At a recent Women's Bible study I am reminded about the power of our words daily. J. said this subject has reared it's ugly head again.She has had repeated run-in's with a group of girls that for some reason have decided to target her. During gym if she runs by them, they run away from her calling her "Nasty!""EW! She almost touched me! She's disgusting!" The poor girl has been through enough in her life. Despite the hormonal mouthy teen at home, she is good kid, while she is at school she is a different person. She is meek, quiet, and keeps to a few friends. She doesn't stand up for herself. She keeps it in. Of course I'm not supposed to say anything to the teachers because they will just keep it up or make fun of her more.

Last year the same girls were told to steer clear of her. For everyone to just leave one another alone. They made fun of her clothes, her hair and her body. They were to stop calling her a racist, of which this label carried over a bit this year. She hates having to see these girls. Despite bullying guidelines they keep on being mean or rude. And not just to her, there are some other children that are physically challenged that also get the brunt of verbal assaults.

I have to wonder if this type of behavior is allowed at their homes. It's so hard to see my children go through more abuse. It's frustrating and easy to say blow it off. Or get some back bone, life isn't fair and deal with it. It's hard not to go to the school and just give these children a tongue lashing myself or to confront the parents to ask if they believe this behavior is allowable. GGGRRRRFACE!

I teach my children to treat others as they are treated. I tell them they are beautiful, they are good kids, they are funny or they are capable of anything they set they're minds to! I tell them to smile it confuses people, to smile or say Hi to everyone. To love they're enemies. Oh that is a hard one! I also remind them that words are everything, and to think before they speak! Of course I have to remind myself of these things too!

How do words effect you? Smile at someone today! Just some random person. A few weeks back I paid for a woman behind me at a drive-thru, it wasn't much an extra $1.00 but you know what that woman was super excited! She waved and gave me the biggest smile! I felt good and I didn't do it for glory. I did it just because and not because I can just afford to do so but for the heck of it.

I bake the girls things or get them small things out of the blue and it's just because. If they were having a bad day, they're mood quickly changes! Giving a hug or a smooch randomly makes me feel good how about you?

No child or person deserves to be called names.
No child or person deserves to be treated lower then what they are~ a beautiful human being!

I am reminded...

There’s a girl sitting alone on a park swing, children are playing all around her. Kids whiz by as if she is invisible, in her mind she wishes she were. Two girls and one boy stop in front of her, smiling smugly, the young girl steels herself, “Wait for it…” she thinks in her mind, “Your ugly!” screams the two girls loudly and they laugh with the boy in two pointing and giving high fives to one another. A tear rolls down the young girl’s cheek…

Later walking home at a snails pace she finally reaches her destination, home. Home is where her Mother calls her fat and stupid. Home is where her Father comforts her in a way she is not supposed to tell anyone about.

A very well groomed woman with a high powered job, seeming to have it all in her named brand clothes and fancy car. At home she has a husband and baby waiting. Her husband has a Meth habit; he has become someone she doesn’t even know. He waits for her not for hugs and kisses but to tear her purse apart looking for money for his new love that his dealer supplies for thousands. They are so far in debt; her husband has hocked everything but what meager belongings she has she leaves at work. She puts on her we are the perfect family face. Her child is at home crying, her 9 month old baby is wearing a diaper she had put on before she left for work, it is filled so badly it hangs in a soggy smelly mess. The small hungry tear stained face looks up at her from his crib, they can’t afford daycare and she has no one else to leave the child with.

It’s morning and a man stumbles into the shower, grabs a bite to eat and rushes out the door. He’s heading the cancer ward at the University where is wife of 55 years is fighting for her life. She is all he ever had and the future looks bleak. He was told the day before he was losing his life partner and he doesn’t know what he is going to do. He has depleted all of their retirement, he had part time job that he lost last month due to the economy.

Pastor and his Deacon have had to have words as some members have concerns about bruises on the Deacon’s wife face and they’re children from time to time. He dismisses it as clumsiness. The family has a good reputation of participating in all the functions at church, they bake casseroles. Never miss a Sunday. Members have noticed for years the wife is quiet and mousy, the children are skittish, the Deacon has been known to blow his top.  At home he runs a tight ship with his fists. He has a porn addiction makes his wife do things that he had seen on the web. He spews words from his mouth at his children and wife to bring them to tears. He threatens them not to tell or else!

I could go on and on with thousands of situations. I am brought to tears sometimes hearing about kids that are bullied, kids that parents do not care about except to collect a government check monthly. Parents that should be loving they’re children but home is not safe for the child.

You see people or talk to them daily and things are not as they seem. You may think you have it bad. Walk in someone else’s shoes. There is more to life then heading to the bar or club.

What can you do? Care about someone else for a change. Listen, be a shoulder for another, find out what you can do in your community. Be an answer to someone’s prayer.

I am reminded that we are at war! We are losing or they injured they are somebody’s brother, son, husband, wife, daughter, while they are fighting our freedom!

 I am reminded of a recent story in Israel where a family was slaughtered.

I am reminded that tonight a parent is crying because he/she has a child that was abducted or missing and that child will not be home tonight.

I am reminded of a strong lady that has the task of telling a parent or relative that their child that was missing will never come home.

I am reminded of a family that has a young child that is close to death and was recently brought to the States for help and hope.

I am reminded of a few moms suffering with domestic violence.

I am reminded of a older woman that has been bed ridden ravaged by cancer, and her caretakers are family that yell and beat her when she wets her bed.

I am reminded of a couple that is hooked on crack and they are pregnant with twins and the woman has no plans on stopping. 

I am reminded of a adorable little boy that has a few physical issues but is a sweet kid that other children are bullying.

I am reminded of children that are 12 years old and becoming mothers when they should be playing tag.

I am reminded of the young child in desperate need of a transplant.

I am reminded of a boy that has it all but is in trouble with police for under age drinking and a few other things because he feels unloved.

I am reminded of a family that seems to have it all but the father is seeing another woman and beating on his kids.

I am reminded of a mom that is struggling to meet ends meet and she longs to have full custody of her children. She works over 18 hours a week to make a meager $300 total.  Her out of work ex-husband keeps taking her to court for child support for they’re 3 children.  He takes her to court out of spite.

I am reminded of the natural disasters, thousands of lives gone and the terrible economy.

I am reminded of the world around me daily. These are just a few of the things I am reminded of that have actually occurred over the past few months personally or from a friend of a friend. People I keep in my prayers and these are just a few.

I would love to stay in my bubble of bliss. I would love to shut out the nasty world around me and my family. I would love to keep out the evil. I would love to have a solution. I want to be part of a greater good, through prayer and just being there for anyone I can. I want to make a difference, even if it is for just one person. Not to toot my own horn or for my glory, but to show I am a caring human being also especially for glory to God. Not for bells or whistles.

I thank God for my problems they remind me how good I do have it…