Nightmares & Narcissists

Will the dreams and nightmares about my ex stop?!

You left your abuser and now your dreaming about him/her. It may feel like you are still being held captive. When do they stop? Why does it feel like I'm obsessed or have separation anxiety from this person?

The duration of dreaming about your ex can depend on how long you are away from this person. Take the amount of time you were with this person and divide it in half. This will be the “magic” number that will be the amount of time you notice you have made progress on your healing journey.

You are probably frustrated by this. I know I was! How can you break free from these? It can be challenging to start reprogramming your mind to see your bad dreams as a tool to heal and change this into a good thing instead. You can do it!

Know that you are safe! This person can't hurt you anymore. You may feel victimized all over again subconsciously. Stop giving this person space in your mind. The feelings of being unworthy, that your useless, everything is your fault, etc... You may go through nightmare spurts. One day you have them and then the next day you don't!
Dreaming allows us to face our abusers head-on. We can safely explore situations we went through as scary as they may have been for you.

If you sit down and think about why you are having these dreams you may be surprised. It could be you were randomly talking about this toxic person earlier in the day with someone. You could have heard a song, saw an item, went past their house, had a message from them, are you up against a deadline, or something else that reminded you subconsciously.

While you are sleeping your brain may be trying to help you or tell you something by replaying a memory or situation.

How can you start to flip the switch?

1) What unresolved hurts do you have? Those bottled up memories can trigger a bad dream. Getting things down on paper or sharing these with a counselor/therapist/friend can be very helpful!

2) Change the voice of your abuser. Replaying these experiences can be terrifying for you but let's pretend you're watching a movie of a memory between you and that person who hurt you. Change the voice to that person. Make it a cartoon voice or really high and squeaky. Kind of like a chipmunk. Does it make you giggle a little? Going forward every time you think of this person I want you to remember this cartoon voice even in real life. This can help you start to see this person in a different perspective. Most of the talk coming from their mouths is ridiculous. Even if they are trying to bring you down I want you to remember this voice.

3) Before you go to bed begin a practice of watching or reading something positive. Don't binge The Walking Dead, watch the news, or consider putting down your phone. Feed your mind something good. If you have to watch a show make it light-hearted. America's funniest home videos, funny animal videos, listen to the Bible on YouTube, find positive affirmations or Bible verses, or record your own to play as you fall asleep. Color, go for a walk or listen to soothing music. Find a hobby that you enjoy to get this person out of your head. Fill your mind with positives and things that make you happy and if you don't know what makes you happy now is a great time to learn.

All of this does take time. I encourage you to give yourself this time to get to know you. To better understand your reactions to a certain situation and how you can reprogram yourself to react in a way that shows you aren't going to be a victim any longer.

Stay safe!
BIG HUGS,
Mel

14 of the most super popular blog posts

I have been getting many new visitors which always leaves me with mixed feelings. I want to give you a shout and say, "Welcome! We hit 138,000 views and this blog post is #298! Please subscribe and thanks for stopping!" but I feel conflicted to break out the balloons. You see, many of you are here because you are seeking answers on how to deal with an abusive situation and not to look up the latest craft or recipe.

There were times when I wanted to throw in the towel and not blog anymore because of feeling that I couldn't help anyone that reads these posts. Heck, there were times I could barely help myself! How could I give words of wisdom to the many that have emailed me privately? 

The days and weeks following leaving my ex, I swear I could have taken out stock in tissue. It seemed like every time I turned around my eyes were leaking. I cried so many tears I was surprised I had salt left in my tears. (Yes, that song by Martin Briley is now playing in my head for those of you that were around in the '80s do you remember the song?)

It wasn't until THIS YEAR that I embraced my "calling" or my "purpose". What is it? This! This blog, my books, going out to speak about my story, making videos and meeting people to hear they're stories. To give a hug or just listen. 

Now, you may be saying, "But, you have been doing this all along!" I had a hard time realizing that THIS is what I need to do. Seriously! If you look at some of my posts you may find me whining about not knowing what I should do with my life.

This is not just any blog, the book sales are not to make money, (I have given more books and royalties away than what I pocketed- not a brag!) or the speaking I have done is not just for fanfare. 

It's for my children. So they can learn that the relationship I was in with their father was not normal. That love doesn't have to physically or mentally hurt.

And there is YOU! Yes, you and those that are unsure if they should leave. It's for those that no longer can speak due to their lives being taken from domestic abuse. Know you are not alone Dear One. 

If you are unsure where to start on your journey take a peek at the most popular blog posts here-

Early warning signs of an abusive personality

Status hearing next week

Gaslight's- Sociopath mind games

Positive affirmations for you!

Violence is an EXCLUSIVE GROUP and CLUB!

Positive affirmations, a new Vision board, and 5 goals!

Positive affirmations for victims

The effects of Family violence with children

What to expect from a shelter

Advice from Survivors of abuse

Keeping yourself safe after you have left an abusive situation

Checklist for leaving an abuser

Girl! You need a safety plan!

Tips to keep YOU safe during the holidays

I hope this helps you on your journey! If you need to talk feel free to message me privately at blessmeplz@gmail.com.

I started a closed group page for victims and Overcomers to share and encourage one another with respect. I will be changing this to a secret group at the beginning of the year.
Find it here to join-Hope when there was none group
Check out my page here- Hope when there was none page



Have I told you lately that I love you? 

BIG HUGS!
Mel

"I don't want to be alone."

"What if I never find love?"
"What if I never find someone to never hurt me again?"
"I don't want to be alone"
"I'm damaged goods and no one will ever want me"
"How come I keep attracting such losers?"

Sound familiar?

I've said those words. I've thought those thoughts. I have been there. I have been in a crowded room feeling more lonely then ever.
It's a tough situation. Especially when your heart is feeling like it is twisted and torn apart.

Perhaps your thinking, "Seriously, Melinda!? I'm so not thinking about anyone right now!" Maybe not, but there may come a time when you get a hankering for a companion.

So thoughts on this?

How about a pet! A fish, four legged critter or something that slithers! Animals are very grounding, loving and can just melt away much the tension from a love lost or abusive situation. A plus is a cat or dog can make an excellent alarm system for you if things are hairy with an ex.

"How can I ever trust a man/woman again!?"

Baby steps! Healing needs to be a priority! Your mind, body and spirit can be off kilter, making you feel moody, depressed and unsure of yourself.

I felt very unworthy, ugly and just plain unlovable for over a year later after finally leaving my ex. No matter what my family and friends did to try to give me kind compliments and boosting me, I didn't believe any of it. Looking in the mirror was something I rarely did for long periods of time. Feeling ashamed to look myself in the eye.

I hated that woman in the mirror. She was a coward, stupid and a waste of flesh. She was someone that allowed a monster harm her children and herself. Digging out of the darkness and into the light was a challenge. The smile that was plastered on my face for so long was forced, painted on and not genuine. A friend encouraged me to look at myself in the mirror, telling myself as I looked myself in the eye that I loved myself, that I was beautiful and worthy to be loved. This took time! I couldn't do it at first, half chuckling and feeling foolish. That was hard, but why?

I left my abuser! Why didn't I feel better? Why didn't I feel better about me?

I can be my own worst enemy.

I begun to pour over self help books, positive affirmations, making myself vision boards, creating goals and wishes for me. Eating better, exercising more and finding out what I wanted in life for me and my kids.

Over the past few years I have been in and out of counselors offices. My favorite counselor, Kim, excused herself from our case due to threats and fear of my ex. This sadden me and the girls, since we all loved her. She was like a old friend that we could tell anything too and left the visit with dried tears but yet comforted. After that I never found that feeling again, also after leaving my last counseling session, I felt worse then when I went in!

What's a girl to do? I began to do meditation, started to journal and blogging again. I started to find things I always wanted to learn and do. Enter a reawakening of my spiritual journey! I thirsted for the living water that I only found in my Bible and church (a great KJV Bible believing church!). On this journey I have found healing of my spirit and self and met a bunch of wonderful people in the mean time.

I created a Bucket List, as suggested, by my then boyfriend, Terry. He suggested to think of as many big, outlandish or small things that tickle my fancy. View my Labels for my previous post for my list!

I have to admit that I am very blessed to have found someone that is supportive, loving and caring so quickly after leaving my abuser. I wasn't looking for love at that time. I really wanted to run off in the woods with my kids and become a homesteader living off the land. I did get part of that! I didn't bargain for love, but have thanked God for him.

Trust your instincts if you begin your journey on healing. Keep yourself safe and if you have kids or furbabies, see how they interact with the new person you let in. BUT, do so with an open mind. Even though you really like this person, most kids and dogs can be an excellent judge of a person!

In a nutshell, you don't have to be alone, but you do need to be safe, take it slow and be open to other friends and loved one's when you do let someone into your life again. You will get there, believe me but it takes time. Don't rush it!

God bless and big hugs!
Mel

5 years ago

 

5 years ago I fled my home with my children and a few meager belongings gathered in secret for a few weeks prior to our leaving.

It hit me on my way home today. As I was driving I realized how much I miss my oldest Son. It will be 5 years in September since I had seen him.

I called my Mom. I needed to vent and cry. Who best then Mom? She is incredibly hard to nail down as she works 2 jobs at least 6 days a week. Luckily, I had gotten her on the phone and I balled my eyeballs out, whining and bellyaching.

She listened.

She reminded me I did all I could in the situation we were in.

She told me that maybe someday he and I would reunite but sadly due to being in his Dad's care, his view of me is more then likely not a very nice one.

She told me to stop crying, it's over and done. To go home and hugs my baby- The big one, Terry.
I wiped my tears, quit feeling sorry for myself, remembering how far we have came and I was going home to a peaceful home, to those that loved me unconditionally.

She said she loved me and we said good bye. That's Mom. No punches held back. In the short conversation we had there is truth.

I usually keep much of these feelings inside. I don't share with everyone. I keep a smile on my face all the time, deep down, I feel unsure of myself. I lack confidence in myself. My self esteem is getting much better, though I still look in the mirror and can still sometimes hear an all too familiar voice, of my ex putting me down, saying I can't do anything. I will never amount to anything . . . Blah! Blah! Blah!

I met someone recently, she is in a relationship that is volatile. With tear filled eyes, she asked me how I did it? How did I escape? How did I stop loving him?

It took a LONG time. Even though many of my feelings were not as hers are, I still mourned my breakup.

Feeling as though it was my fault that I was unable to keep the marriage going.

Feeling that I somehow failed.  It took a very long time to stop these feelings.

Those feelings eventually were replaced with anger, regret, remorse and then clarity.

Clarity?

Yes indeed!

I had clarity that all my faults were not mine. They were his! After being told I was a screw up, I made those spiteful and mean spirited things my own.

I began to dig deep. I absorbed all I could about Abuse, reading blogs, books, survivor experiences to remind me that I was not alone. At the same time I began to sink into a deep depression. I had to stop reading these things. To understand abuse is one thing, but I felt a sadness for those that were suffering.

I couldn't fix the world, but I can fix myself.

I read my Bible. I prayed. I prayed for God to work in me. To heal my mind and shattered spirit. To bind up the tattered broken pieces of my heart. I was able to lift my spirit with many great verses, enabling me to get through the day.

I began to seek out positive affirmations again. To picture the life I wanted. To erase, "Can't" from my vocabulary. To see the wipe away the small worries. The small stuff.

I wrote a Bucket List.

Created a Vision Board

I didn't bar hop or go nuts partying after I left my ex. I'm not a party person.

I did reconnect with my kids. Going to parks, the beach, the city (Chicago), exploring and playing games.

I have done things I read about in magazines and books- Law books to help me learn Pro bono workings of the court room. I'm pretty proud of myself for this.

I dove into doing things such as, Bee keeping, more gardening, Chickens/Ducks, Canning, Author, hosting Vision Board workshops, Reflexology, Herbs, Crystal healing, Aromatherapy, Meditation (I'm still working on this!), a Doula, teaching myself to crochet (I will have to post my first afghan on here, it is extremely crooked but I did it myself! ), hosting antique sales out of the house- I do have a booth space now.

And more, I do whatever else tickles my fancy! Most of these things are inexpensive or free. If you can find someone to teach you then go for it!

I found articles online and in books about rediscovering me! Finding my Inner Goddess, so to speak. Anytime I felt crappy I would open my bible, call a close friend, share with the Hubster or journal.

I have my mantra- "Hope" I have had this for almost 8 years now. I moved onto other mantras, such as "Believe", "Inspire", "Dare to Dream". In all honesty I keep coming back to "Hope". I see it all over the place, in places I wouldn't even think about. Billboards, webpages, books, news stories.

Hope.  A little word with BIG meaning for me.

I'm not erasing my past. I have forgiven and let go. The past is what shaped me. Though I can't escape the memories or bad dreams, they have loosened a grip on me.

Now don't get me wrong, I still look over my shoulder to see if my ex is around. I make sure I am aware of my surroundings all the time. Our address and my work place are still under wraps. I still worry from time to time.

But we are safe. I am free! My kids and I are still a work in progress. Things are much better then they were 5 years ago today.

I'm not haunted by my past, I am moving on to a beautiful life. I don't have a flashy car or home. We are comfortable. I'm married to my best friend. The love of my life! I have 5 beautiful children- Terry's daughter, my oldest son, Jess, Alex and Kalven.

My situation is rare. Not everyone finds another love, quickly or that is not an abuser.

Please tread carefully when leaping into a new relationship! Rediscover you!

There can be a happily ever after! You have to want it! You have to desire to be more then a doormat.

Brush off your dreams, wishes and sorrows, soar like a butterfly! You can do it!

If someone you know is still struggling with leaving an abusive situation, please do not give up hope. Check in from time to time. The drama can be very intense, if you dig deep, it can drag you into a roller coaster. Step back if need be. But do let the victim know that if they ever need help you will be there or can direct them to someone that can help!

It was nice for me to know that despite it all, my family and close friends never gave up on me! It actually did encourage me to find the strength to leave.

I'm cheering for you! BIG HUGS and prayers!

Mel

White lights on a Christmas tree and positive affirmations

Now I haven't lost my mind. . . Yet! What do white lights on a tree have to do with anything?! On my path to healing my spirit, there are glimpses of my past. Hurts and these dang burning memories that come bubbling up like water from a spring from the desert. 

We are decorating for Christmas, we were gifted a Christmas tree that someone was going to throw away at the end of yard sale this past summer. Terry was so proud of his find and he didn't have to rummage through the trash! (A playful jab because I am the Queen of trash re-purposing- a gentle title I like to use rather then garbage picker)The only thing wrong with the tree is the lights aren't working, so he very patiently at checking and changing each light. 

As we had surveyed his work last night, thus far, and while admiring the tree, I trailed off in mid "Your doing a awesome job!" and must have had a funny look on my face because he thought something was wrong. I replied that I just realized that I had never had a Christmas tree with white lights! 

My ex had hated the way white lights look on a tree and I was not allowed to hang anything but multicolored lights on the tree! EVER! Now those lights had to be strung by wrapping each branch with lights. I would have over 1,000+ lights on the tree! It would take me hours to get the tree done. No short cuts while doing this or I would have to start all over in his presence.

  

As I mentioned in previous posts I began to dislike the holidays. So, last night was like reopening an old scab. When these thoughts or memories come up I have found opening my heart and feelings to my loved ones or blogging has helped me tremendously.  

Anytime I start bad mouthing myself, oh yes Dear Blog reader, you can put yourself down! That inner voice that holds you hostage by calling you names, making you feel worthless and weak. So when I find myself trash talking about myself, I pause, pray and say positive affirmations. I look in the mirror and remind myself that I am safe. I am a child of God. 

I am beautiful. I am worthy of love. I am worthy of happiness and joy! 

It can be hard to look yourself in the eye and tell you these things and you may even feel silly.  After time these will become really great mantras! Or create your own. 

Almost 5 years that we started this journey, while it is not the end to the craziness, the beginning of this wonderful, hair raising adventure makes me appreciate the small things in life. The sound of silence in the morning, actually conversations and laughter in our home. Love and companionship with my now husband, Terry. 

Don't give up hope Dear Blog reader, you can be free! Whether it is the realization of the color of the lights on your Christmas tree or how you live your life day to day. There can be happiness. It is a rough ride, tears, and sometimes scary. But all in all it has been worth it! No regrets and no apologizes.

If you are in a abusive relationship or know someone that is, please get them help! Surf the web for one of the many national and local organizations that can direct you to safety. Feel free to view some tips on safety tips and more here. 

God bless! Stay safe!

Mel

*Find me here- hopewhentherewasnone on FB or healingheartsreflexology- Soon offering Emotional release (Young Living essential oils) and more! Also collecting toiletries for  local Shelter- St. Jude House in Crown Point, IN. I do have a booth space at Treasures Hidden in Lowell, IN where 10% of proceeds will go to St. Jude House.

In the midst of chaos

First let me say that if you are reading this blog, I'm sorry. I pray God gives you strength to carry on. I pray that you don't just give up or give in. That you dust yourself off and stand tall. Though it seems grim, dark or impossible there is a ray of light at the end of the chaos.

I have leaned of the Lord to get me through my life. I was abused as a young child, and a counselor believes I may have been sexual abused as well. Being a victim seems to be a pattern in my life at various cycles. But, it can be broken! I'm asking you go put your faith in God. Whatever your faith or whatever being you believe in, you have to place faith that you will get through this.

You are worthy of a life worth living. You are beautiful in the sight of God. Now I normally don't preach about religion, but I receive emails from time to time asking how do you do it? Or what is your secret to keep going? How are you so brave?

To be honest, my emotions are a swirl of anger, bitterness and sadness. I had to give all of it to the Lord. He is greater then these things earthbound. Also, I was blessed to be surrounded with angels both spiritually, family, friends and to have found a partner that builds me up, encourages me to grow.

I pray all the time! I pray for not only  my situation, but for others, our world, our nation and those in my life. I journal, blog and tell anyone about our story. I don't wish it to end here. I someday hope to get speaking engagements to discuss this subject in schools or groups. I have looked around to do so but do need either, training via a Women's shelter (that irked me I had first hand experience on how to deal with abuse!) or a education as a counselor or mental health field or a book. Now the book is something I have been going back and forth about because I'm unsure of myself and scared. Yup, I still get scared or terrified that my ex will try to sabotage something, kill me or send my eldest son to kill me or my new husband and youngest son.

After close to 5 years my abuser still looks for me/us. He still reaches out to my family and friends to inquire, rant and bash me.

Everything I whine or go on about here are things I practice, do or have looked into. I like to think that I practice what I preach!

I do the Positive affirmations. I talk to other survivors about what they are going through or ask thoughts on my situation. I read my Bible! I read self help books to help me with my spirit, self esteem and to help me heal myself. I cleanse our home with sage, oils and prayer. I take baths in sea salt or do a Salt glow to rid me of negativity.

I use crystals, essential oils, Bach Flowers (Rescue Remedy) garden, find things that soothe my soul and broken spirit. I am teaching myself dozens of things to help me grow in mind and body. (I'm trying to learn to meditate but my brain thinks about everything under the sun or think about the housework that needs to get done) I do these things to get my mind from running away from me about my situation.

I have seen a handful of counselors, overall I don't believe in them. Sorry! I am not on medication. I did that route. It was not for me. Not saying for others not to see or use medications to get through. I'm saying I did not feel it was best for me. I don't like the side effects of drugs. Now, for others this is the way to go and if it works for you then that is fantastic! I use visualization to get me through my PTSD symptoms or a bag works. I talk myself down during these times and pray. I plead the blood of Christ in my life A LOT!

Anytime the house seems alive with bad energy, I cleanse it. Much to the eye rolling of the kids and hubby. They go with it because the mood after I do so is lighter! I don't consider myself a "New Age person" but I am open minded to everything. I am a believer in God. He gives me strength!

I can ramble on and on.

Dearest? Please consider opening your heart to the Lord. If you are already a follower and are saved then don't lose faith the God is with you. Let Him work in your life. Give Him your worries!

It takes faith. You have to have faith. Before you open your mouth, act in a situation or even start your day, before you jump out of bed ask God to guidance. You are never to old for a happily ever after. Nor are you unworthy enough to call upon angels or God to help you through these tough times! I'm praying for you!

Now, God still wants you to act and be diligent to keep yourself safe. Don't shut yourself in the house and never leave, becoming a hermit. Take steps to protect yourself at all times!

Take a self defense class!

Leave a paper trail- emails, voice mails, text messages from your ex or even first hand accounts written by you or someone that has witnessed the abuse.

Practice self awareness while you are out.

Don't see your ex without someone else being present. And if you have to see your ex do so in a PUBLIC  SETTING! Call the police and let them know of the situations and that you would like an officer present during visitation exchanges or just because you don't feel comfortable. That's they're job!

Keep an emergency phone or change on you to make a call!

Let a trusted friend or family member know where you are at all times. I know you don't want to feel like a child but this could be life saving!

Try the other tips found in the blog to stay safe.

Learn to love yourself again!

Prayers, blessings and love Dear Blog reader! Stay safe!
Mel

*Side note- If you have any questions about God, faith, prayer or anything please feel free to contact me at hopewhentherewasnone@gmail.com . Or visit- http://purewordsoftruth.com/ for information about the Lord.*

Is your life worth more then a toaster?

I have talked with men and women that amaze me. I'm talking I'm floored that out of 10 people 6 stay because they don't want the abuser to get stuff or the house or car, etc. . .

Seriously!?

Is your life worth the toaster? How about your other "things"?

As hard as it is to swallow these things can be REPLACED! YOU can NOT be!

I admit to wonder how terrible a person must be suffering if they are staying in any sort of abusive relationship due to things. I can understand staying for fear, hope that he/she will change or worries over no place to live, or lack of money. But to stay because you don't want that so and so to get the house or the car. What are you thinking?!

Abuse is a serious matter. If you are living in fear. LEAVE with your dignity and LIFE!

Now, if you are staying in an abusive relationship because you are fearful or worried that you can't because of no money or what will everyone think. Consider those victims that have lost they're lives. The most dangerous time is right after you leave. Not to scare you, but the abuser thrives on making a victim continue to be a victim. They don't care about the silverware, they don't care about the kids. Most Gaslighters/Narcs care about them and them alone!

You have to be ready to make the jump, when you know it's time. No one can make you leave. No one can tell you to leave unless your ready. I can and have talked until I have been blue in the face to victims and until they are ready they stay. Something "has" to happen to make the victim say "Enough is enough". Sadly, this can be at the dangerous cost to the lives of the victim or victim's child(ren) or pet.

After you gather your courage to finally leave and not come back or allow him/her to come back. You will cry, get angry at yourself and abuser, or depression. Don't feel bad if you need to reach out for professional help! Do what you can to get yourself help for support or just to vent.

Contact a shelter, clergy person, friend or medical professional to help. Depending on the situation consider strongly contacting the local law enforcement about your plans of leaving or let them know of the situation so they can patrol your area. That is what they are paid to do! You are not bothering them! File police reports! File protective orders for you and your child(ren).

Take EVERY threat seriously. Keep every text, IM, email, VM or letter from your abuser for legal purposes. Leave a paper trail! Make copies and entrust a friend or family member of your situation.
Don't go anywhere alone or without telling someone where you are going.

If you are doing parental visit do so at a public location. Alert the police and ask them to sit or patrol the area. Be safe! You have to be 2 steps ahead of your abuser. Be situational aware at all times. Even if you are just checking the mailbox or walking in a parking lot.

If you have kids with your abuser, please let the school/teachers know what is going on. Bring them copies of Protective orders. Do what you have to do to keep yourself and your children safe! (pets)

Look online for youtube videos on Self defense or find out if your community is offering a class in safety. If you are using pepper spray, gun, stun gun or some other type of item to protect yourself find information on how to properly use the item or you may have to find out if you need to be licensed to carry some protective items.

Remember you are worthy of a safe life! You are not a dumb person nor are you stupid. You can have a great life that is safe. I won't lie about my life. I'm very cautious and have to be. I value the lives of my children and myself.

Stay safe Dear blog reader! If you are being abuse please get help or if you know someone that is being abuse be a shoulder, lift them up so they know they are not alone. Contact local law enforcement or shelters on information to find a safe place or for legal help.

God bless!

Mel

*** What am I doing now? Well, above I saved my pennies and finally got to meet some online friends from MI and one I have not seen in ages (Kristy) I'm in the red! The incredible ladies and famous Nancie, Kristy Robinett, Mary and the Sparkle gals pictured here. It was for the Gypsy Soul Retreat. The next one is in the beginning of 2014. I would like to go again!http://www.gypsysoulretreats.com/

I have recently taken a Reflexology seminar that made me look inwardly and begin to embrace my inner strength. I hope to incorporate this into my Doula business. I'm still doing Antique and vintage sales, hoping to reach out to the public about DV and abuse. Attempting to write my story but I can't seem to get the words on paper. SIGH! I'm still growing in my Christian walk, gardening, crafting, learning about herbs and edibles from the yard for eating and medicinal uses, enjoying chickens, honey bees, guinea fowl, ducks and learning about homesteading. I'm hoping to learn more about energy work as well! Enough about me! Dear blog reader I hope you can someday have a "Happily ever after". . .

Positive thoughts and affirmations!

It can be easy to slip right back into old habits or patterns once you have left your abuser. 

Sometimes these things just sneak up on you! 

Beating yourself up about these setbacks can really make you out of sorts. 

 Changing your triggers or patterns is work. 

Take baby steps and if you fall pick yourself back up.

Get yourself out of the house or try to focus on something positive.

I am a firm believer in trying something new or out of the box that may be something you have always been curious about or to do. 

Such as, taking up a hobby, traveling, or just doing something for you. 

Pray or meditate or do both. Create a Vision Board (Wish board). Start saying Positive Affirmations. Find Bible quotes that can lift you up! 

Tape yourself saying positive affirmations or Bible verses, play these when you need to remind you that you are worthy! 

Here is a neat list of affirmations and positive thoughts-

Kristy Robinett- http://www.kristyrobinett.com/

Give yourself permission to keep boundaries. Not just today, but everyday.

Peace doesn't mean silence, but finding that calmness within even when their is chaos around you.

Be gentle with yourself.

Faith begins with trust and trust begins with a hope. Hope in the unseen and of things to come, faith tells you.

 

Today my world is changing for the better. I open my awareness to my shifting reality. I allow my intuition to guide my actions to day with trust that I am guided toward my highest good.

Never be ashamed of the scars that life has left you with. A scar means the hurt is over, you endured the pain and God has healed you.

Beating yourself up over the past won't change it, now will it?

Morning Meditation-  Silence in your life is just as important as hydrating yourself with water. It is an essential in keeping your soul and spirit healthy. When was the last time you allowed your mind to wander and daydream? Today, even for just 5 minutes, allow in the silence. Shut everything off (TV, radio, net), etc and drink it in.

My possibilities are endless. I believe in myself and in my abilities. My mind is constantly producing money-making ideas. I expect great things to happen every day. My subconscious mind is my partner in success. I am brave.

www.BlogTalkRadio.com/christina-lunden

I know now I AM the creator of my life.

I create a balance between my family's needs and my personal needs.

I create a balanced, healthy body.

I create a balance between my work life and my personal life.

I create a perfect balance of money flowing into and out of my life.

I create a balance between my Earth life and my spiritual life.

I AM consciously creating all aspects of my life.

I AM relaxed in my created life, knowing what I have in my life are my choices.

As I choose to create something different, I remember I have the power to create and re-create at any time.

I AM the creator of my life!

http://www.abundancetapestry.com/101-affirmations-for-children/

101 Affirmations for Children
1. I can do whatever I focus my mind on.
2. I am awesome.
3. I am very intelligent.
4. I am a fast learner.
5. I am worthy.
6. I deeply love and accept myself.
7. I enjoy learning.
8. Learning is fun and exciting.
9. I understand the lessons taught in school completely and quickly.
10. I believe in myself and my abilities.
11. While I appreciate details, I am able to also see the big picture in things.
12. I have many gifts and talents.
13. I learn from my challenges and can always find ways to overcome them.
14. I am open to possibility.
15. I embrace my fears fully and calmly.
16. I make like-minded friends easily and naturally.
17. I am healthy and am growing up well.
18. I have persistence in what I believe in.
19. Miracles happen to me all the time.
20. I am very creative.
21. Ideas for problem solving come easily and quickly to me.
22. I am a great listener.
23. My family, friends and teachers love me for who I am.
24. I am unique and special.
25. Opportunities come to me in good time.
26. I may make mistakes sometimes but I choose to learn from them.
27. I accept myself even though I sometimes make mistakes.
28. Every day and in every way, I get better and better.
29. My intuition guides me in what I do.
30. I am calm, relaxed and peaceful.
31. I am always in the right place at the right time.
32. I enjoy being, feeling and thinking positive.
33. Problems challenge me to better myself in every way.
34. I trust myself in making great decisions.
35. I am loving kindness to all.
36. I do my best in my work and tasks.
37. I am present.
38. I trust in my ability to solve problems.
39. I enjoy my own company.
40. I accept compliments graciously and openly.
41. I am whole and complete.
42. I enjoy trying new ideas.
43. I embrace changes in peaceful, harmonious and positive ways.
44. I believe I can be whatever I want to be.
45. I can visualize very well.
46. I am vibrant and have lots of energy.
47. I am divinely protected.
48. I am kind, generous and loving.
49. I complete my school work on time every day.
50. I am deserving of love, trust and kindness.
51. I achieve great and successful results.
52. I am brave.
53. I experience beauty wherever I go.
54. I have got an awesome imagination.
55. I am able to solve problems creatively.
56. All is well in the world.
57. I am thankful for my blessings.
58. I have a healthy relationship with my teachers.
59. I choose to forgive all others for any mistakes they have done.
60. I feel confident and secure.
61. I enjoy letting events unfold in good time.
62. I have loving, positive and happy thoughts.
63. I express my ideas easily.
64. I am courageous even when things are unknown to me.
65. I reach my goals easily.
66. I am in charge of my own life.
67. I enjoy playing games with my friends.
68. I am gentle with myself.
69. I have many friends who like being near me.
70. The trees, flowers and birds are my friends.
71. I radiate love and compassion.
72. Miracles happen to me every day.
73. I am on my way to creating great wealth.
74. I am excellent in languages.
75. I am quick and accurate with Mathematics.
76. I am able to analyze and see clearly for problem solving.
77. I read, write and learn fast.
78. I absorb knowledge like a sponge and am able to apply what I have learnt.
79. I do my best for my studies.
80. I am attentive in class.
81. I am a natural in _________ (sports).
82. I am on top of my classes.
83. I enjoy challenging myself in new ideas, possibilities and directions.
84. I am a winner!
85. I turn failures into opportunities for success.
86. I handle all my responsibilities and tasks well.
87. I enjoy eating healthy snacks.
88. I love my body.
89. I am honest and trustworthy.
90. I choose to look for the best way forward for myself.
91. I am able to understand and solve complex problem sums or questions easily.
92. I enjoy experiencing life in multiple ways.
93. I love being healthy!
94. I manage my time well.
95. I like being punctual.
96. I enjoy having habits that will help me have a happy, healthy and successful life.
97. I listen to my gut or inner wisdom closely.
98. I am able to easily draw inspiration from nature and life.
99. I believe in my dreams.
100. I have an excellent memory.
101. I am Me, and I am Okay! (Words quoted from Self Esteem Poem by Psychologist Virginia Satir. Featured in my How to Love Yourself post here).

List of Positive Words

http://www.scribd.com/doc/4097251/A-to-Z-of-Positive-Words

Don't forget to check out the labels for other ideas for Positive Affirmations/Vision Boards!

Stay safe!

BIG HUGS!

Mel