My knees were shaking and my voice shook!

I admit that I was super nervous as I spoke at the St. Jude House Candlelight Vigil recently. I said a prayer before going on but I was still terribly nervous. My inner chatter was going crazy. Before we arrived I almost told Mr. Awesome that I changed my mind. 

I was letting fear creep into my head. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. I gave a presentation last night and the same voice came into my mind. Telling me that I was stupid. That people would laugh and that I should just leave. 

I punched fear in the face last night. I know in my heart this isn't about my ego or about me. It's about a calling that God placed in my heart to help reach out to others by sharing my story. 

God has put so many AMAZING people and events in my path in such a short period of time. I have been overwhelmed with thankfulness and gratitude. Sharing has been able to help heal me further and to kick that nasty voice in my head. 

My family and friends have been so supportive and loving. I find victims and survivors from all the corners of the earth. The thing is, there are so many similarities in our stories that it is eerie and sad. 

I hope to continue with my book tour and sharing this year and hope to keep going for the future. Plans for a healing sanctuary in the near future are in the works. Whether this would be a not-for-profit or a foundation type of thing is what I am

thinking. Though I admit to being in the dark about planning this. 

Can I also confess that this journey isn't anything that I thought it would be. It is so much more! I thank God every day for His grace and helping me through dark times in my life when all I wanted to do was give up. He didn't give up on me or let me to just throw in the towel. 

In other news, I did make it to the Gypsy Soul Retreats and presented "Vision Boards" to a fabulous group of Women. It was something I crossed off my Bucket List and I was pretty darned proud of myself for going! 

I have been trying to create more videos to add to our YouTube channel. A recent video that was supposed to be serious was a bit loud in the background... Well, you can view it on here! 

I mention on my other blog about how surreal my life is. And I know I have said it over and over, but it is! My worries at this point in my life (besides the usual bills and money is), "Do I grow my hair out because it's bugging me now?" Isn't that awesome!? Seriously, it seems dumb but that is my concern. I am loving this life of mine. :) 

There are little happenings that went on around the farm, please check them out here- My obsession: Glitter, Antiques and Homesteading

So, Dear One, whatever your journey, please know you are not alone! You are loved. You are amazing! You are worthy of joy and happiness. If you need to talk please message me privately. 

If I hadn't told you lately... I love you too!

BIG HUGS,

Mel 

P.S.- Have you heard about this campaign? 💜 Painting your ring finger #purple to show the world your vow to help spread #awareness about #domesticviolence 😍. You are also showing support for #safehorizon which says it is the country's largest organization that helps victims. Whether you are wearing purple ribbons, coloring your hair purple or #putthenailinit #speakup against #abuse 💜. Sharing your story may help change the course of lives!

P.P.S.- Have you had a chance to pick up a copy of my books? Find them here- Call me Master and Rising from the Ashes. Don't forget to look at my facebook page- Hope when there was none. 

If you know of a church or group that would like to have me speak at please drop me a message to blessmeplz@gmail.com.

**UPDATE**

Mr. Awesome and I headed out Friday. I met with a cool Lady about speaking to her group in November at Suzie's Cafe in Valpo. One of the waitresses there had amazing hair! That afternoon, guess who ended the debate on her haircut? YEP! This Lady!

Why you should leave a paper trail

Hey there Love Bug! 

Are you curious why you should leave a paper trail? 

Here is some background on one quote I found recently. I have been picking brains of those that are on the public speaking circuit and professional speaker, (God bless her patience!) Emily was wonderful to share tips and The Speaker Lab podcast! This helped her get started with her business. Since I am so green and have knocking knee about being in front of a crowd I thought this was the best information and podcast I have found! 

Now here is the reason I bring this up. Grant the Public Speaker Ninja, was talking about contracts and he once heard that "A paper trail is a "safe trail". I liked that! 

Which brings me to the subject post! So what is kind of paper am I talking about and why is it so dang important?

When I first left my abuser I hadn't thought much of taking paperwork. It wasn't until that first experience did I realize the importance. 

What types of paper I am referring to is:

Previous years income tax filings

Pay stubs (If your partner is receiving funds under the table and there is some sort of documentation that is SUPER important.)

Medical cards/files/prescriptions

Marriage/Birth Certificates

Mortgage/Rent contract

Business contracts/info (If you own this on your own or with your abuser.)

Auto Registration

Auto insurance information

401k or other investment information

Credit card bills/other misc. bills

Student Loans

Children's school information

Photos- Of the abuse or just cherished photos

If you have all of this and any other relevant papers make copies. Concerned this will be noticed? 

Consider copying one at a time. Mail the copies to a trusted friend or relative. You may want to get a PO Box. A small box is pretty reasonable. I have found one as cheap as $40 for a year. These do vary! So check around your local area. 

Most of everything on this list will be asked for by the court or your attorney. 

Now for the unpleasant stuff. 

I am going to be upfront and honest with you. The first 24 to 48 hours after leaving an abuser can be the most volatile. Make sure you keep your phone off or block your abuser's number. It can be tempting to answer his/her calls or text messages. I beg you to please not do so! 

If by chance you forget to do those steps then please keep track of the messages (text and voicemails). Perhaps, this person figures out where you are staying and comes by. Call the police! That is first and foremost! For your safety and if you have children. 

File a police report. This may start to feel tedious and as though your abuser is just getting away with everything. It can be quite frustrating! Trust me, even if that order has been violated a bunch of times it's not in vain! If your state or city is pretty lax these incidents can build up a case against them. 

If you are worried they are running around talking about you. Saying your a terrible person/caretaker, or you are a drug user or that you have a stash. Let that person talk! That's all they can do right now and they are super frustrated. The police and legal authorities can see right through these instances. Trust me! 

Keep a journal of all of the contact with dates, times, and where these things occur. 

These can be used in the future as well. The trick in all of this is to remain calm. This can be hard when you are experiencing someone that is stalking you, showing up at your place, or threatening you or your children. Take reasonable safety measures to keep yourself safe. Here are some tips from a previous blog post- Keep yourself safe after you leave. 

You may end up with a HUGE file box with paperwork. That's fine! I had 2 legal paper boxes and 2 red rope files with information about everything going on. It seems ridiculous but this did a few things for me. 

It gave me something else to do besides cry and feeling hopeless. It empowered me to say, NEVER AGAIN! 

I encourage you to journal as well during this time. This can help you with noting the events right after they happen so they are fresh and can be shared with your attorney, GAL, Doctor, or advocate involved. 

I hope this helps you on your journey. I also hope this doesn't dissuade you from leaving. Leaving is the best thing I ever did for myself and the hardest thing I have ever done. I've mentioned it in the past. I hate to sound like a broken record. 

Do you need help right now? Please contact the police! They are happy to help before a situation takes a dire turn. If you don't feel that you are in immediate danger, please call the non-emergency number of the police station (Many times they can give you resources that can help) or contact your local shelter. There is also- The Hotline or NCADV. 

Whichever you choose please know you are not alone. Many women and men are there to help you through your situation. If you aren't ready for that and need to talk confide in a close relative or friend and of course, please don't hesitate to send me a private message here, or blessmeplz@gmail.com or on my FB page- Hope when there was none. 

I am sharing awareness by setting up book signings, events, and speaking engagements. Here is where you can catch me next! Find my books here-Amazon

Would you do me a favor and recommend me to your church, school, or group? My mission is to inform, educate and empower by sharing my story. 

I hope you are safe and know that you are loved by me but by many others around you.

BIG HUGS,
Mel

Rising from the Ashes has been published!

WAHOO! My second book is out... And my third book that has nothing to do with abuse. It's been awhile since I've blogged on any of my pages. It's not that things haven't been going on. Life has been busy. I've had some Lyme flare's that have knocked the wind out of my sails. I have several book signing coming up and I'm really excited! 

Find them here- Amazon I have shared my upcoming schedule of book signings on my FB page- Hope when there was none

Peanut (Alex) has graduated! The issue of her anxieties have been a sticky spot for her. She was so upset and panicky over the past few months. She is unsure what she wants to do with her life. She didn't apply to any colleges or for scholarships. And the thought of getting a job sends her into a tizzy. After the McDonald's fiasco last Summer I don't believe a job is an option right now.




China Doll (Jess) is doing wonderful! She is on new antidepressants and found out what medications she is allergic to. Going forward the experiences she will have medically should be a lot better. Changing her diet has helped as well. She has gone Vegan on her own. I'm proud of her! The baby is growing by leaps and bounds.


I feel very blessed. I'm in awe of this life I live. God has given me so much. It's more then I possibly imagined. Curious about what's happening at CasaMel's?  Check us out here-www.lordblessmeplz.blogspot.com

If you are in a relationship that gives you second thoughts. Please take a moment to think if this is how you want to live for the rest of your life. Will you live past this year? Can he/she change or are they willing to change? Leaving is scary. The path ahead can be rough. You may wonder if it's just easier to stay. 

Please don't give up. Giving up or giving in is easy. Having faith that everything is going to be alright is hard. It's not something you can readily see. If you have had tragedy in the past, it may have tarnished your relationship with the Lord. I am happy to chat with you about this or just listen to what's on your mind. Don't hesitate to message me privately.


I hope your weekend finds you safe and well.
Love you and BIG HUGS,
Mel