I poked the bear!

I did it!
I couldn't help myself!
I thought deeply and searched my heart before doing so. . .

I reached out to my eldest son. I was nervous as I waited for him to pick up. I fumbled for words and managed to spew out, "Howdy, Matt, it's Mom, er, Melinda, I just wanted to say I hope your doing well."

AGH!

There was a pause, than he began to say I wasn't supposed to have his number. There is nothing legally stating I could not call him. He kept on for another minute, telling me "Melinda, you can't contact me." and more. I could feel a lump forming in my throat and tears stinging my eyes, I ended quickly with a warm message to say I was thinking about him and hope he has a great day.

About a half hour later, my cell phone was blasted with 16 text messages. None of them friendly.

Who was I kidding? I guess part of me hoped and wished he would have said something like, "Mom? I missed you!" or "I have been thinking about you too!"

My co-workers are so caring to support and lift me up. I was laughing after a bit which helped lift my spirits.

I didn't get any of that. I had Terry check the messages when I got home. I was a blubbery mess at work, half due to the conversation and half because the hopeful bubble I created prior to making the call was popped.

The messages hit about 10 points. None of which have a shred of truth or sanity to them, my guess they are at the hand of my ex.

They range from me saying:

Rob killed animals, belonging to family members and that has proof, as he works with his dad alot and know he knows where he is. (I have no idea what that or who that is about. And that Rob doesn't know where we live.

The stuff in those papers are lies and he always sees the mail first.( I think he means the Protective Order I just filed).

There is more. Honestly I don't understand most of it and I guess I never will. I blame myself for this one, but I deeply wanted to hear my son's voice.  I haven't see him in over 5 years. I keep praying that someday there will be an understanding and healing.

So Dear blog readers, today's lesson. . . Don't poke the bear if you don't need to.

I tell you, I am not a professional and I do flub up along the way.

I keep you in prayer for strength and reassurance for guidance for your situation! And please do the same for me, I need all the help I can get!

God bless!

Mel

Computers, cell phones and safety revisit

I chatted briefly with someone about her daughters experience with an abusive relationship and how the madness continued after she bravely left. He continued to stalk her, show up at work, threaten her, call/text non-stop. Luckily he was found guilty of stalking and is now serving sentence in another state.

She mentioned that he knew her email, passwords and private contact info. He went through her address book and emailed everyone, sending nasty messages, opening accounts in her name and finding out where her whereabouts were by looking at her message and social media pages. He was able to harass friends and family by pretending he was her.

He also was able to close utilities, credit cards and drained her bank account. He changed all passwords on all accounts, leaving her frustrated, scared and upset.

What would you do? This isn't the first time I have heard of these, I myself have first hand experience and several others have went through similar events.

If you are planning on keeping the computer/laptop. Back it up, use Restore disks that came with your computer and wipe it clean. Use a professional if you need to, but if you have the disks you can do it for free, it just costs you a little time to put install everything. This could save you a lot of financial heartache or physical safety! If you can afford it buy a new computer/laptop/cell phone.

Keystroke programs and GPS tracking are very popular with Abusers so, change ALL passwords for EVERY account. Alert your major credit cards, banks, utilities of your situation. Many businesses will place a password on your account. Contact credit bureaus as well. They can note all strange or pricey purchases and stop whoever it is at the store or online shop.

Turn off any GPS features on your cellphone if it is still tied to your ex. When taking a picture with your phone remember this does let anyone know where you are by mapping coordinates. Change your cell number.

Be smarter then your abuser. Think like a detective. Alert your friends, family, work and places you frequent of the break up. If he/she is stalking you please let police know the situation, don't be afraid to ask them to patrol your area more from time to time. They are not the bad guys! Leave a paper trail of police reports and incidents. (Stalking, harassing calls or numerous text messages)

Be proactive about knowing your surrounding. Let someone know of your whereabouts, even if your running out for gas or for milk. Stop Twittering or Fb or whatever social media outlet you use about who you are seeing or where you are going over the weekend or through your day.

If you plan on moving and are in a legal fight, ask if you can have your address private, or if you leave without telling anyone where you are (Not recommended there are some legal reasons that can have YOU charged as a criminal or if you have kids you could potentially lose them). Since I am not an attorney please ask for legal advice or if you have an advocate that deals in abusive situations please ask protocol.

If the above situation applies to you, get a P.O. Box. Make your phone number unlisted or use a throw away phone that allows your abuser access if you absolutely need to. Give him/her a different email address and let him know that you that you will reply in 24 hrs, unless emergency.

"An emergency on his/her part, does NOT make an emergency for on mine!" Great mantra!

Before you leave make copies of:

Every bills
Paystubs
3 years Income taxes
Birth certificates
Social Security cards
Marriage certificate
Immigration papers
Lawsuit info
Financial accounts
Medical records
Copies of computer back up
Phone lists and addresses
Photos
School records
Insurance- Home, business, auto and health
Keys

Save your pennies and enlist a good friend to keep a stash of cash for you. I was sending my copies and cash to a family member via US Mail before I left.

This is a small list. Please refer to past blog posts on Safety list and Safety. This is YOUR life! Reclaim it! There can be happiness after this. Believe and have Faith!

God bless!
Prayers for you Dear Blog reader and for those that are standing by someone that is in a abusive situation.

Love and Light,
Mel

Broken hearts and dreams

It’s hard to imagine starting a new life once you have left your abuser. Your heart is shattered.

Your dreams of a long relationship lay scattered on the ground and you feel that your whole life is just a shambles! Mr/Ms Wonderful made promises of change. Or promises of a long life together.

What do you do now?

I’ve blogged about this in the past. Picking yourself up once you have left is a tough thing to do!

Honey! You’re preaching to the choir!

Look around you, over-looking the wet and dried tissues that are are all over the place. Wipe those eyes. Throw some water on your face and make a list.

Where do you want to go?

What do you want to do with your life?

How can you move on?

What will I do for money or a job?

What are your dreams?

Finding yourself again after a break-up is a tricky thing and toss in the fact that you left an abusive situation the mix may still seem like a scene taken from The Springer show. A “normal” separation is one that you divide up the kids, stuff and move on. With an abusive relationship the other partner may NOT want to let go.

He/she may continue to stalk you. He/she may continue to harass you by texting/emails. He/she may still try to hurt you by intimidation or further abuse (Verbal/Physical). It can be very hard to think of moving on with the continued drama.

You ask, “Seriously?! Woman what are you smoking!?”

You can do it! You can live a “NORMAL” life again.

You may have to break some habits created by the relationship(s) you were just in. Starting over is just that! Beginning again! Clean slate! 

Re-invent who and what you want to be! Take those questions from above and start planning your new life! What do you want out of life? Are you living your life or just going through the motions? What can you do now to make what you want with your life?

After you have answered those questions above, call it homework, then start purging everything!

Whether it be the relationships with others that maybe toxic in your life (Your Ex’s friends or family)

Clean up your home. 

Memories are attached to many things around you. 

Starting new (If you can afford it) can help. From the bed you and your partner slept in together to the digs you stay in.

What about the food you eat? Do eat things that are good for you? Is the food you’re eating something you really enjoy or something you just adapted?

Are there things you use to clean you only used because he/she wanted you to? Personally, after I left I realized how much I hated the smell of Febreze. And I wouldn’t use it again!

Or what about the TV shows you watch. It has been almost 4 years since I have watched “The Simpsons”. It is something I watched because of my ex. 

What about your clothes? Do they make you feel good? Are they you or what your ex liked to see you in?

What bad habits do you have? Party too much? Drinking? Drugs? Food? Sex?

What have you become addicted to doing because of your ex?

Your make up? Your Hair?

The list can go on and on! It is quite amazing when you reflect back at the things you have or do because it became routine with your ex.Take a serious look at your life then and now. Pick up the pieces of your life. Your worthy! You’re a Survivor! 

Take baby steps! You can do it!

Love you always and forever

"Love you always and forever" 

I have seen these words again over the last few days. 

3 text messages. A few lines saying "Good morning my Ladies" or "Sweet dreams my Ladies" and then "Love you always and forever". It's not tell my girls or tell the girls Good night or Good morning or even tell the girls I love them... He says "my ladies" and "Always and forever".

Why does that creep me out? Why can't he let me go?

I thought I didn't leave the house because I love this wonderful place. OK, that is part of it. But deep down I don't want to bump into him. I don't want to take the chance. 

I am still jumpy. I still cringe and feel a panicky feeling when I see a vehicle that looks like his.

Let me go.

Me and the new Hubs (Terry)

Move on with your life. I want to enjoy this second chance of living a beautiful life. 

It's been over 3 years.

 I still miss my son. He's going to be 17 in a few weeks. I'm sure we are strangers to one another. I miss him terribly. I don't believe we can have a decent relationship until he is away from his dad. 

My daughter,Jess, threw me for a loop a few weeks ago by asking to maybe live with him for a month at a time. Or to see him without Supervised Parenting Time. I was blown away! I was not angry. I was hurt and confused. I didn't/don't understand. After all they have been through!

Alex and I were shaking our heads. I was definitely not inputting her reasoning. She talked to Terry and he helped her understand the reason why we don't talk to him unsupervised. And the importance of me avoiding any type of situation that could put us in harms way. Of course I can not afford to send them to the therapy they need because the "ex" is still behind in support. He has yet to file his income tax return and he complains to those around him that I haven't gotten the girls to therapy. I have to come up with 10% of the cost to send them. (not my idea and I really was ticked off when the Magistrate said I would have to) Since I have no job or prospects for one yet, I rely on the support for the girls medical bills, clothing, school books and fee's. He's a bit over $5,000 behind now. 

I don't understand why he has not been arrested. I have repeatedly asked my attorney why. And all he can tell me is that it is not worth putting him in jail. HUH?! Putting him in jail will not help get his support paid. It's such a little amount. HUH?! So, the man can keep getting paid cash at his job and not pay for his obligations and it's OK?! And he is still texting me even though the court said not to text or contact me unless it's an emergency or else. 

I don't get it. 

I'm at a loss. 

I know I'm caught in a cycle of healing. I know he is caught in a pattern of being a Narc, Gaslighter, Psychopath, Abuser, Violent, Mentally unstable... Whatever you want to label him. I have no intention on getting on that wild scary ride again. I don't miss crazy.

I'm desperate to move far away. To get away. To just put us all in the car and leave where I don't feel worried about the dark. I don't feel worried about going anywhere to run an errand. Where no one knows us or him. Where I can truly start over again and feel free. Oh, I know I have my decree and I'm free. I have been free physically for almost 4 years come Feb next year. But emotionally and mentally I'm held bound by memories and old fears.

Let me go...

1:26 am

My cell buzzed at 1:26 am.

My first thoughts at this time of the morning are:
Is someone hurt?
Sick?
Dead?
In jail?

The last thing I am expecting is:
 From R
March 15, 2012

1:26 am- It has been said that the opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. If someone in your world seems to be feeling intensely upset with

1:26 am- you know, Gemini, it may be because this person has a hard time dealing with the depth of his/her feelings for you- not because there is no love. Don't

1:27 am- automatically assume that you are not cared for. You cannot control this individual's reaction, but if you have feelings for this person and he/she gener

1:27 am- ally respects you, then you will need to be tolerant of the situation until it passes. Work on communicating better and see if that helps--

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seriously? GGRRFACE! How annoying is that? Now, I didn't answer them. But a few minutes ago I did forward them to my attorney. No, they aren't threatening, but they are annoying. And he told his attorney "He was so over with me and understood we were done".

I feel sad for him. Trust me not sad enough to go back to him! More a pity sad. Sad for his Mom too. After she mentioned recently that she would not say anything bad about him to the GAL because he was her son and knows where she lives! What about her Grandkids? During that conversation she said she wanted us to visit my sister-in-laws new digs (she is living with them, to help care for them). BUT, she could not ensure R wouldn't show up and she can not ask him to leave. She won't do that!

I'm sad for them. I still pray for all of them. I hope they find help they need to repair the messed up relationship and mental issues that R has. I pray that our son does not travel down the path of abusing his loved ones in the future.

I have still am unsure of any new court date available. Quite frankly, I'm still antsy about finding some closure with this. I continue to leave it in God's hands. For now, everything we have needed is provided. We are safe and loved!

And you Dear blog reader... How are you today? If you are reading this and in a abusive relationship please take it to heart that you are not alone! You are worthy of happiness, joy and down the road a happy relationship with someone special.

Sometime people can raise their face to the sky and ask "Why me God?" "Why are you doing this" or "Why are you letting this happen to me?"

Did you ever stop and ask yourself what can "you" do about it? Don't wait to act before more damage is done to you or your children or pet! When is enough, enough? Have you hit rock bottom? Or do you just keep getting hit with fists or words? Dearest, only you know when it is time to go. Please do not wait until things escalate and get worse. Stop making excuses for your abusers actions. Stop thinking it's just you or in your head.

Stay safe! Many blessings!

Mel

Crazy Man last text messages pt 4

** Now all the misspellings are as they came directly from my phone. Not for giggles**

Text messages from M  to my cell phone (219)3-07

December 26, 2011

10:40 pm – Just remember I told you once and I told you twice u wont evr hav anything to do with u unless u go back to dad and he is kibd enough to take u back so u be

10:40 pm – ttr think long and hard about what u want in life.  Ur running oitta time if sad marrys pearl thts it. Becuz dad isn’t a cheater

10:41 pm – In a way ur stupid and ur smart u keep tellin people u want dad move on but ik thts not true.

10:41 pm – Ive seen u purposely try to destroy the relationships dad was in

10:41 pm- I personally think ur stupid

10:42 pm – ik for a fact tht dads girlfriend woyld probably not stay with dad if dad had all 3 kids

10:42 pm – And it would be damn near impossible to find someone who would take3 kids

10:43 pm – So u keep screwing up in reverse

10:43 pm – Like I said u better do some long hard thinking

 (I found those above messages the next morning, I replied I hope he had a good Christmas and I love him and to have a great day)

Text message from M to my cell phone (219)4-07

December 27, 2011

9:15 am – You do not have the right to say that garbage to me and unless ur back with dad u never will have that right so think (I replied: To have a good day and I was sorry he felt that way but I still love him)

9:18 am-  I see you are trying to annoy me with pitiful garbage . once more you are. Not to talk to me unless u r with my dad do not text or talk to me unless so is done (I replied that I did not want negative messages from him and to please stop doing so. That I would be happy to talk with him positively)

9:28 am – I will text what I feel like. It’s a free country with freedom of speech. Deal with it

9:28 am – Or is me denying u too much

9:28 am – Because I can deny you and believe me it doesn’t bother me.

Text message from M’s girlfriend C cell phone (5)99 on December 27, 2011

9:29 am - Hello, this is M Allen’s girlfriend. He is so upset because you are trying to be nice to him when he knows your lieing. He wanted to see his sisters on Christmas and you wouldn’t let him. He is not a threat to them I don’t understand why you think he is. He cries every night because he is heartbroken because you don’t let him see his own sisters. You should let him see them he has done NOTHING wrong to hurt them or threaten then he is the sweetest gentleist person on this earth.

9:29 am – Arguing with me only shows that u r indeed a terrible mother

9:29 am – U hav no respect only seek to destroy me from the inside and out

9:30 am – Unfortunately for u I do not break

9:30 am – U will fail constantly

9:30 am- You know this and you are tryibg to find a way to break me

(I left a message on Robert’s cell phone to please ask Matt not to text me negatively)

9:31 am – I have grown up to see ur liea, flaws and ur weaknessea

9:31 am – U r not scary to me

9:31 am – Only a pitiful shell if a woman

9:31 am – An u know that also

9:32 am – You may think you will win this battle but I assure you u will not.

9:32 am – U try to destroy everyone around u

9:33 am – And you are starting to fail on that too.

9:33 am – soon enough ur plan will fall down the drain

9:34 am – And everything u think u hav will be gone

9:34 am – And all that u will hav left is miseryz

9:35 am – You have lost

9:35 am – U don’t scare me

9:35 am – And don’t think I don’t know what your next attack will be

9:35 am – All the lies u made hav been proved wrong

9:36 am – No matter what u throw at me I will always throw it back at u

9:36 am – Goodbye don’t text back

9:40 am- And I will tell the world what u have done to me and when I find a lawyer tht will help me I am sueing you for what you hav done goodbye

From Roberts blackberry work phone (847)652-5 to my cell phone (219)314-07

9:41 am – U called r the girls OK? (I replied yes but for him to tell Matthew not to text me with negative messages)

9:52 am – I don’t control my son. And talking about his feeling is something I don’t want to stop him from doing. I realize controlling your kids thoughts. Dreams.

9:52 am – And desires is common for u. but I am not controlling or abusive like u. maybe u should deal with what M says. Whatever it is I am sure u deserve it. U

9:52 am – don’t mid yelling and being abuseive. But you don’t like it when you have to deal with the damages u caused.

9:55 am – And I personally believe in god and his promise to me.. so I quietly believe that one day u will wake up and you will see what u did and finaly start askin

9:56 am  – g for your way back. I believe we will be back together.. so I will tell him nothing of the sort

10:01 am – Well do that I personally don’t know what u talk about with M.. me personally I am glad he is talking to u.. u r just to stupid to see it.. but I see u (I replied never mind I would send the text message to the GAL and to stop calling me negative names)

10:01 am – have not changed.. it seems u will go crying to anyone u can so u don’t have to face the damage u have done.. once again running away u r pathetic.. hav t

10:01 am – he gal contact me (I replied I was no longer his secretary to do so himself)

10:19 am – R u delirious I never called u names.. go get your eyes checked.. LOL anything to try and pass the Buck.. LOL.. pa the tically.. predictable. U never change.. I thank God he showed me how abusive and controlling u r.. M has told me of all kinds of abuse he endured from u.. u want to know why u left… u have told so many lies and spent so much time destroying your marriage. U have no choice but to run away like u have done since u where young.. u r doing all this because u can’t tell the truth and admit to me and outhers what you’ve done. Or the truth of you’re behavior.. thatis why all this crap is happening and why r kids Ave to endure all this.. u r mentally unstable. The problem is that u r Cain enough to fool outhers. And calculate the destruction u need to inflict to hide and not have to answer for your own action. (I replied for him to stop texting me)

10:33 am – Ill send what I want.. u don’t control me any more I did u read it again.  Still pathetic.. remember this one day God will convict u and u will see u hav

10:34 am – e been following the Devil. U will face the pain of confession.. I have talked to many psychics.. and everyone of them say u r being led away buy a man t

10:34 am – hat is not be with u.. he is the devil in disguise.. how can over 15 different ladies in over 10 different areas see the same thing and all of them have

10:35 am – told me that you’re friend who told u that u would be devorsed is not a real psychic.. and buy ethical practice should not ever say that.. so u r  either I

10:35 am – ieing to hide the fact u r running.. or u r being led a stray.. all stated that u r being miss lead..

10:36 am – Do u have the will to go to one of the psychics? Do u have a opened mind to hear the truth

10:46 am – Saying u r pathetic is not calling u names.. it is stating your actions.. ass or shit head.. now that would be name calling.. God mel wake up.. lord Jesus ple

10:46 am – ut. I really feel it’s better he says it than holds on to it.. remember when u never let him talk nice to me when u used to lead him in peatone.. but I le

10:46 am – t him call me every name anyway.. at least u two r talking

10:46 am – ase help my wife to wake up. I beg of you. With all my heart and all my soul.. I talked to Matt and told him no swearing. As for whatever else u to talk abo

10:46 am – U have A so screed up now she will not eaven talk to me.

10:55 am – I taked to t and listened to what he was saying.. and it seems to me he wants you to tell the family. The gal.. court and friends the truth of what u

10:55 am – that would be a really big hill to climb. But never the less that seems to be the main deal. . Oh and don’t expect him to except Terry.. oh man that is a

10:56 am – bad problem their.. I guess hitting and thretining M was to much.

10:59 am – did to him.  That seems Luke that’s the main problem.. if you do that maybe he and u can start fixing the problem .. of course u would loose the girls so

11:10 am – Yep after talking some more I am sure that would help the relationship between u to

From M cell phone (5)5-0 to my Cell phone (219)3-07 on December 27, 2011

11:28 am – I just talked to dad and he dada said to be ind to u lol he also tild me not to sware and he told me tht he had mentioned to u that I want u to admit wha

11:28 am – t u had done wrong to me. Infront of everyone. Well my dearest birthmother tht would be a good start but hardly dnough. U turned ur back on me every way pos

11:29 am – sible

11:35 am – U threw me in a mental hospital under false pretense. Had terry hit me to where my arm was numb fir weeks. U hit me a lot. U had me living in a room full of

11:35 am – mice. U had me believeing lies. U let him threaten me. U hav people watching me. U took a fake witness to court wen she wasn’t in the car with terry wen he th

11:35 am – court so I still cant c my sisters. U tried to cause trouble (u still do). U attempt to kill me and he does the same

11:35 am – reatened me. U made it so I can’t x my sisters. U had ladies yell at me. U had many turn against me. U badmouth me constantly. Make up lame excuses to get me in

11:35 am – And there is way more

11:50 am – Remember at the shop when u had me so scared I peed in my pants. Remember that

11:51 am – Dad wasn’t mad u made me (Terry replied to stop texting my cell phone or we will block the numbers unless it’s important)

From Robert blackberry work phone (847)652-5 to my cell phone(219)3-07 on December 27, 2011

12:32 pm - This is r. And u and I will meet. It sounds as though u r scared and trying to keep control of Melinda and now I will take this as evidence that Melin

12:32 pm – da is not in control and not capable of raising our girls and it seems she is unable to control you. Melinda if u want to here the  truth meet me at a ps

12:35 pm – ychic. I know its hard to get away from Terry but just let me know if u ever want to here the truth (Since you will not stop texting your numbers will be blocked)

12:36 pm – OK to the lawyer I go to see if we can remove the girls

               

               

Crazy Man text messages pt 3

Text messages from Robert work blackberry (847)6-5 to my cell phone (219)3-07

During the ongoing 3 year divorce with R Allen,  Judge ordered that all communication go through attorney(s)

November 18, 2011

4:05 pm - No card! But we do have someone that takes are mail… M said he would burn it anyways. As for the girls he said they know where we live. There is not

4:05 pm - Again this is how M wawnts to handle it personaly I don’t think u raven bought a card or that you think u can fix what u have done. I never did before

4:05 pm – but certainly now find myself questioning your sanity. Good luck with that

4:05 pm – hing saying that they can’t come buy if they want. I know m has seen J buy our house so I am certain they know the way and have the ability… once

4:29 pm – Don’t care what u think. Truth hurts doesn’t it. U should try it once before u allow more insanity to run from your lips. U don’t control me anymore.

(I replied he wouldn’t know his butt from a hole in the ground and to leave me alone. And not to text me anymore. Future text messages were to be ignored unless they are an emergency)

4:35 pm - Butt from a hole in the ground personally I’m a little disappointed in you expected more from you next time take a little more time on your insults I mean

4:38 pm -  No I’m not an ass I’m very loving generous person that does on my way to help anybody I can I just won’t put up with your crap or bow to your control

4:40 pm – I am free if you and enjoy my life without you. I miss personal time but I don’t miss your abuse

5:43 pm – M said they know where we live… and from me. I said it before and ill say it again. U can tell people whatever u want. But M knows the truth.. and so do I. and I am a loud persona nd I will yell if you hurt me… but I am not the abusive person u made me out to be. It was your own abuse being rejected buy me that you were having problems with. Was I jelish yes. Was I always calling you. Yes. I did not want my wife with another. But I know who I am and I am not who you say I am or was. That I know for sure. I thank God for this chance to find out who I was. And for the chance for my son to know me. For who I am and I am certain u know he girls would want to stay with me also if the new me. Not the me u have been droning into their heads.. and that take away your control and u an’t have that. You have used your mind games and passive control on me for years. Well not anymore and it feels so liberating. Have a nice night. Try to at least tell yourself the truth J ( I replied to him that he was abusive to me and the kids for years and was never in control)

5:51 pm – Yes you are correct because that’s what I believe you told me that I abuse you and that’s what I believe because that’s the right thing t

5:51 pm – hat I knew

5:51 pm – Thanks for the therapy and time away from you and your biz I know the truth

5:52 pm – I asked god to fix my marriage to allow everyone to see that’s what you did. And I’m sure that the rest will be seen in the future.

5:55 pm – Laugh out loud nothing but abuse from you.

5:55 pm – Tried looking deep inside try looking back to what really happened tried to telling yourself the truth. (I told him he needed to get more help and to stop texting me)

5:57 pm – Once again more abuse and telling other people how they need help it’s amazing that how you know how everybody needs help.

6:00 pm – I’m not the 1 lying for the first time in my life since I been with you I see the proof of your control and your manipulation. I don’t doubt that I neede

6:00 pm – d help you did everything you could to cause it

6:02 pm – You’re his problem now and believe me you will do the same shit to him. Old know at it was you that was shaking your head everything he said maybe you des

6:02 pm – erve to be controlled religiously for once.

6:06 pm – Maybe that’s what god needs you to see. So u see how u controed me. Either way way just not my problem anymore. (I replied I never had control of him. I heard you hadn’t changed from some of the people in your family. Again please stop texting me)

6:38 pm – Your are you are too funny. The problem is you can’t handle not having the last word and as far as talking to others u don’t talk to anybody I know anymore. And as for my mother and sister. My sister can die for all I care. And my parents lost all respect and absolutely all hope of ever being treated like they should be. When they allowed Terry in their house. I have to honer them. Nothing else.. so please don’t try to hunt for info. That is control tactic.. hum us sure seem to use that a lot. Don’t worry about what I am doing. Worry about telling yourself the truth.. us say u don’t see a change well I would say that is because u r the problem. And your lies. Abuse.  And control. And manipulation. Bring it out. And once again I reject it and your abuse tords me. And it seems buy your own words you are proving right. And if not putting up with yoru abuse and control makes you say he hasent changed he is crazy. Then shoot away. Because u r rite I will not put up with it.. LOL.. maybe u need to take a step back and ask God to change you.. and when u change then look and talk with me again. You’re problem with me is you.. before you try and tell me who I am and what I help I need. Start buy getting help with the one in your mirror.. try and be truthful to her. Try taking responsibility for your actions..

Crazy Man texts Pt 3 or 4? I lost count

Text messages from M on R’s blackberry (847)2-5 to my cell phone (219)34-07

November 23, 2011

                7:05 pm – Have my sisters call my friends phone I wanna talk to them 1-5-4-10

7:16 pm – This is Matt I went by to c the girls but the car wasn’t there I hope u told dad where you guys moved (Jessica called him and they had a nice chat. The comment about moving never came into question)

Text messages from R’s blackberry (847)2-5 to my cell phone (219)34-07

During the ongoing 3 year divorce with R Allen Judge  ordered that all communication go through attorney(s)

At this point there was a supervised visitation ordered between R, J and A

November 30, 2011

6:45 am – Happy Birthday Hon. Still love u J

3:39 pm – Melinda I and m and my girlfriend are going to Christmas village. We are leaving on Friday morning and coming back on Sunday.  I have somebody staying  at the

3:39 pm -  house to watch tbone. What I’m asking is if you would let the girls go. It’s in downstate Indiana and would appreciate the girls going with. Thanks (I replied for him to contact his attorney regarding this. As far as I was to understand he was only allowed supervised visitation and the girls would not be going unless I was told by the court to do otherwise)

4:20 pm – I could.. but he will ask me.. do the girls want to go? Then I am shire he would call u. I am just asking first.

4:29 pm -  U could do it if u wanted. And u kknow it. It was not slowed when u left them in summer. U know as well as me that all the judge is going to say is oh di

4:29 pm – d the girls want to go.. and did they have a good time. The only reason we have to go threw the supervised is because u keep insisting its up to u mel if

4:29 pm – u want them to go. When they start to visit the texts will prove I kept trying to see them. All I know is it’s a neat place and there is going to be a lot

4:29 pm – of lights. We got two rooms with big beds so its not a pronoun. If they should have lady problems my girlfriend is their. And she is a proper lady. As well as a nu

4:29 pm – rse so no worries

4:30 pm – Let the girls deside

4:31 pm – And let them think it would b OK with u if they say yes. I know J does not want to dispoint u

4:36 pm – Well that’s OK I asked and the girls will know. I hope your b day is nice. Love ya

Posting text messages from Crazy Man himself pt 1

If you are truly bored feel free to take a walk on the Crazy side... These had me bummed out because my son had a hand in many of these as well. There are a bunch! From October to December:

Text messages from R's  work blackberry (847)2-555 to my cell phone (219)34-0

During the ongoing 3 year divorce with R Allen, Judge ordered that all communications go through attorney(s). These messages are violating the intent of that ruling.

October 16, 2011

6:30 am - Sorry for the erly morning. Answer when u get it. What cancer do u have

6:31 am - Do u want to meet and talk- (I replied No thank you)

6:32 am - I think i can scrap up anouph to buy us a coffee

7:08 am - Well u know I still love u. U know I would take care of u. But u also know i am with someone else. And u do all u can to drive them away so I have an ear of Of mis trust. I dont think u can blam me. Ill be here for u if u do have it hon. I took that vow

7:10 am - So u know u drove my girlfreind away now so i expext us to get back together. No exceptions-

8:04 am - No sorry I was moving on. U destroyed it. We r now back. We can take time if u want.  He can leave under his own power now U made up my mind. U just could not 

8:05 am - If she comes back u r off the hook

8:07 am - Thy where your fucks. U drov e her away. U gave this to me. U will be with me now

8:07 am - I did not ask u

8:08 am - He can leave on his own if he wants

8:10 am - Dont want to b with me fine. I am alone u will b alone

8:11 am - I am alone u r alone. No more to say

8:12 am - I tryed to move on. U distroyed it. U r sick and twisted. I realy think u want back in        some demented way. So u got it.

8:13 am - Leav e me alone. So ok. U can come home now.

8:15 am - Sorry u made iup my mind. I am taking my ex gf home make shur he leaves

8:15 am - You decided to come home.

 From M using R's blackberry cell phone (847)62-3 to my cell phone (219)34-7

8:16 am - Hi bitch this is m. Well I give you credit you chased away another one. Your first attempt with that lame psychic message didn’t work. So now you pull this

8:17 am - Try to destroy dads relationships as a adolescent type cry for help. To get away from terry.

8:15 am - With your whore diseases. And you finally did it. Now ive lost a good friend and someone else I really care about. Since you will not let anyone else become My mother you will be my mother. The next time I see terry I will beat terry until he can no longer walk or see and I will do this everytime. If you want to

8:16 am - be my mother you have to live in my house with my father. I have to agree with dad after reading his text to you. You are mentally deranged. But you got your

8:17 am - wish you are coming home. I will expect you to start counseling with dad and we’ll work it up to you and I. If you don’t want all this then you better do your

8:18 am -God damn best to get pearl bacxk with dad or find him soneonelse cuz as far as im concerned you are on your way back home. Have a nice day mom. Good to hear from you

8:20 am - Interesting your supposed to love your boy so much and yet you gunna call the cops on me hum me thinks this is terry. I think terry has too much control

8:21 am - Over you and I think its time I free my mother from him. I try to look another way but you are not happy with that. I personally see this mom you always

8:23 am - My father has really been trying to get me to forgive you. So much that I keep telling stop trying to make me forgive you. Maybe he is right. Maybe you

8:24 am - Need forgiving so the lord can clear up the crap in your head. And you can just admit you wanna come home and admit you wanna get away from terry

8:25 am - Because of all the crap you keep saying about moving on. You’ve sabotaged dads relationships and all the other acts that ive witnessed from you

8:26 am - Say you wanna come home so now you got your wish. I expect to spend the holidays as a family together. The little boy can come if he needs to he cant help who His mother is. Hope to see you soon bye

1:56 pm -  Gee that’s funny I have seen you and terry and he pushes you around all the time.    And I guess I should say the same to you because you pushed me around and hit

1:57 pm – Me enough

1:57 pm - Im glad dads in the bathroom. Now I have to time to send this. And by the way where are you its almost 2 o’clock. You wrecked dads relationship and caused me

1:58 pm – To lose a brother and a mother. So get your ass home if we r gunna start repairing this family. And don’t blame dad you’re the one who caused this.

2:01 pm- I am free if you and enjoy my life without you. I miss the personal time but I don't miss your abuse.