Tips to keep 'YOU" safe during the holidays

This time of the year is supposed to be joyous and happy but if you are a victim of abuse it can be a nightmare.

You may have heightened stressors as you potentially experience any of these:

Financial issues- lack of funds from overspending, job loss or layoff.

Getting together with family- While normally can be wonderful there could be pressures or conflict on top of dealing with your abuser.

Increased alcohol/drug use- It is not uncommon for usage of these to be more abundant.

Vacation- Your partner or loved one may be off for an extended time causing more heated exchanges.

What can you do?! 

1) Keep your phone charged at all times. Make sure you have trusted contacts on speed dial. This could be:

911 in the States for immediate assistance- Teach your children this number too! 

Family or Friend- These can help pull you out of a heated situation or act as a witness. Consider using a "Safe word" such as Gingerbread or Eggnog for a text or while you are on the phone. This can alert your person that you need help NOW.

Women's shelter

The Hotline - 1-800-799-7233   1-800-787-3224 (TTY) En Español

Safe Horizon -1-800-621-HOPE (4673)

NCADV - Resources page for National and International help

2) Along with the safe word tip, if you have a good relationship with your neighbor think about having a certain color light that can be lit when if you need assistance. If they feel comfortable they may ring the doorbell or knock to check. They could also call the police for you to do a wellness check.

3) Download a safety app such as - Circle of 6

4) If you are meeting your abuser for a visitation exchange contact a friend to go with you. If you can not find a friend, make sure this is done either in the daylight or in a public well lit area. Contact your local police department and give them the "Cliffnote" version of your situation and ask if they can meet for the exchange. They are happy to assist with this and will give you instructions on how to handle the situation. 

5) If you are still with your abuser make sure you have an escape plan. Don't back yourself into a corner or room without a window. 

6) Contact your local shelter for a Safety plan. You may not be leaving this second but empower yourself with knowledge of how to handle an escalated situation. 

Be safe! Know you are not alone in your struggle. If you need to talk feel free to message me privately. 

I started a closed group page for victims and Overcomers to share and encourage one another with respect. I will be changing this to a secret group at the beginning of the year.
Find it here to join- Hope when there was none group

Have I told you lately that I love you? 


BIG HUGS and stay safe!
Mel


P.S.- More news coming soon from my home front. 

Positive mantras!

DARE TO DREAM!

DREAM BIG!

I'm not a big resolution person but I do enjoy making goals for myself. I have a Bucket List (See labels) more of a life long list. This year I deciding to do a "Goal list". Small steps! Not biting off more then I can chew! Nothing more disappointing then creating a goal list or resolution and not completing it!

So! Whether you are in a Abusive situation of some sort or if you were able to leave (throw out) your abuser, make this the year for you to begin again!

DO SOMETHING!

BE AMAZING!

Do something new/old- Dust off your camera, craft supplies or whatever your passion lies.

Learn something- Whether you always wanted to learn Spanish or perhaps you may have to learn self defense.

Do things that make you happy!

Include your child(ren) or pet(s) in your endeavor!

PLAY! Don't lose sight of finding a time to unwind or just play!

Ditch FB or other social media or computer and live in the real world. I can honestly say I lose track of how much time I spend on here. (Pinterest is so dang addicting!) I miss out on family time by surfing. Even if it is for a half hour. Step away from the computer!

Remind yourself YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO!

Create the life you want.

Throw out the tissue, pick up the pieces to your life and live!

What did you do before Mr/Ms Wonderful (Sarcasm) entered your life?

I am not advising party life. I've heard too many stories about survivors ending up back in the cycle of abuse because of someone they picked up at a bar or party. (Not always but this is my opinion due to others I've heard about and chatted with)

Surround yourself with those that will lift you up, encourage you and bring you happiness. Ditch the ones that cause you grief or craziness to your life.

Stand up for yourself, if need be with your ex's family and friends or your ex!

Don't give up! Stop making excuses for pushing it off!

Now I know your wondering what's on my list! Well, if your not I'm posting it anyway! BIG SMILE!

Read my Bible- At least 1 chapter a day- 1 book of the Bible a week
Pray more often- Get a prayer journal or notebook
Spend more time with my Love
More 1 on 1 time with my Lil' Squeezes
Play! Family game night
Read my daughter's stories
Exercise (3 to 5 times a week) Trouble right now since my back is out
Drop 10 lbs
Practice Self Defense
Practice shooting (my gun~ I do have a permit and need this for in case my ex comes too close)
Learn Archery
Learn to fish (I hate worms so this will be a big thing for me!)
Learn to gut something we catch
Rent a antique spot for all of my cool stuff!
Buy some storage units
Plan our garden
Order seeds
Order Bee's/Take Bee class first! (See a Dr about an Epi pen in case :) )
Order Buck-eye chicks
Order Lamb (s) *See my friends Mom about raising and other things
Take lots more family pictures!
Craft more! Finish my PH D (Projects Half Done)/Sew clothing! Finish crocheting my blanket!(A lady from church has been teaching me the stitches!
Take a First Aid course
Create a new vision board
Plan my Mom's herb garden
Tape my family history (Grandma)
ACTUALLY read books off my growing bookshelves and sell after I read or just sell others
Write my story!
Make Cheese/Yogurt
Pay off- Kids school book fee's/ Pay something on my student loan (Medical Assistant that I still didn't find a job doing~ GRRFACE!)
Do something off my Big Bucket list!
Learn electrical and woodworking!
Camp out side with the wee monkey (in the yard)

It seems kind of intimidating but these things are do-able!

Research whatever it is if you are unsure. Whether it's opening a business for the first time or leaving your abuser. It takes patience, planning and courage. You can do it! I'm cheering for you! Don't give up!

BIG HUGS
and
PRAYERS
on wherever your journey takes you!

Find me on Facebook!

After some hemming and hawing I decided to start a FB page for Survivors and Victims of any type of abuse. To share experiences or to leave a face with their story so we can put a face on Abuse!

Hopefully others can inspire and give hope to those that just can't leave or kick they're abuser out the door! I do not want this to bash our abusers. That's not it's purpose. Why stoop to that level or your abuser?

It's easy to just want to forget your past to move on with your future. But, trust me, it's not easy! Even with my best intentions to put my head in the sand to ease the memories, the past comes up behind me like a dark monster looming in the dark.

Embrace you! Embrace your past! It is what made you! Let those experiences make you stronger!

Help me put a face on Abuse! Strength in numbers!

Find me here- hopewhentherewasnone or Melinda Kunst on FB!

BIG HUGS and Blessings!

Mel