Gaslight's- Sociopath mind games

Ok so now you are wondering how can a person play mind games and get away with it? It is not uncommon in real life for someone play with your mind so much and and so well that you begin to doubt your sanity.

He/she may have you believe the sky is gray while it is sunny and the sun is shining.
He/she may tell lies about friends and family
He/she may tell you that you will never be anything unless you have them in your life

My Abuser would hide things he needed for work or tools he used around the house and later after I am ripping the house/garage/his truck apart, magically the item in question would appear. I would scratch my head and swear it was not where it was! My Abuser did admit that he did this later to me/kids. He thought it was funny. Of course the stress or names or the physical things he would do to me/kids until the items were found was nuts!

There are times you get so lost inside you lose yourself and your feeling of self worth is in the toliet! Escaping these things can be a challenge. Anytime you are in a domestic or family violence situation there is doubt you can make it. Your abuser may make you believe otherwise and you do doubt yourself!

Believe that you are not alone! Sadly there are thousands of people in your shoes, young, old, women, men, children, and even animals! Keeping quiet about your abuse will only allow your abuser to get away with continued abuse! If you can not leave for you and you have children. LEAVE FOR THEM! Don't wait! File police reports, take pictures and do not be silent anymore!

I sadly did not do a lot of this and I am having many problems. My Soon To Be Ex wants to have my girls removed from my home based on lies. The trouble is since I never filed a police report prior to my leaving him. In some cases I am having a hard time getting the court to believe me! Luckily I have family and some friends that recall instances of turmoil and this will help!

If you are being abused and just need to vent please email me privately...
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http://www.suite101.com/content/why-psychological-abuse-is-called-gaslighting-a154933
Why Psychological Abuse Is Called Gaslighting

Movie Gaslight’s Plot - Sociopath Playing Mind Games with Wife

Oct 1, 2009 Jill Stefko

The 1944 film, Gaslight, features a man using psychologically abusive ploys to convince his wife she's insane. Later, this term would be used to describe abuser's games

Gaslighters say and do things to make targets question their sanity, memories and beliefs – all in a bid to fulfill the abusive person's egocentric needs. Intentions can include financial gain, controlling others and/or pleasure.

Gaslight, the Movie
In the film Gaslight, Paula and Gregory Anton are living in the house where her Aunt Alice Alquist was murdered because the killer wanted her jewelry – jewelry that he never found. Gregory is Sergius Bauer, Alice’s killer. He marries Paula so he can get back into the house to search for the jewelry.

His plan is to convince his wife that she’s insane so he can have her certified and institutionalized, thereby allowing him to search for the jewelry without hindrance. After they move into the house, bizarre incidents start happening. Pictures disappear, footsteps are heard in the sealed attic and gaslights dim and brighten for no apparent reason. He insinuates that Paula is responsible, but she has no memory of doing these things.
Paula is saved by Brian Cameron, a Scotland Yard detective who was a fan of Alice. The housekeeper and a neighbor help him solve the case. Gregory is arrested on the day he finds the jewelry.

What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is the intentional and progresses psychological abuse that uses mind games. Gas lighters begin with subtle ploys to lessen their targets’ self-confidence, disturb their sense of reality and make them doubt the self. They want to weaken targets so they are less likely to figure out what’s happening, making the victim less apt to take actions for self-protection.

All types of games are played to make targets think they are insane or having a psychological breakdown. The perpetuators are most likely to be those with antisocial personality disorder (formally called sociopaths and psychopaths) and those with sadistic personality disorder. Both take pleasure in inflicting damage.

Gaslighting Games
This covert form of psychological abuse is intended to make people question the self. Some gaslighters move their targets’ items to different places or steal them and return them later to disorientate the person. One went into his target’s home when she was absent and rearranged her furniture. When she told him about this, he told her she must have forgotten her moving them because she was under a lot of stress. Abusers might start a subtle crusade against targets so others will believe them, doubt the targets’ stability and may, unknowingly, help them in their games.

Gaslighters may isolate and alienate family and friends. Other games abusers employ can include:

• Denying they said something (when they did make the remark in question);
• Telling targets the matter is in their imagination;
• Accusing targets of overreacting, being suspicious and/or dramatic;
• Telling targets they don’t know what they’re talking about;
• Saying targets are accusing them of imaginary things, and;
• Asking targets about all of the “bad” things they’ve done to them.

What to Do about Gaslighting
When people question their memories of conversations or events although they’re absolutely sure what was said or took place, they should wonder if it’s possible they’ve been gaslighted. It’s a subtle method abusers use to manipulate and control and is almost undetectable by targets. Usually, the perpetuators vow they give unconditional love. The intent is to make targets think about this when they question the mind games and self-doubt arises. The thoughts abusers want them to think are, “I was sure s/he said we’d go out for dinner tonight, but, I must be mistaken. S/he loves me unconditionally, so there’s no reason for me not to believe him/her.”

Targets should listen to that small voice that says something doesn’t feel right. To escape these situations, a victim must realize, "I know what I heard. What’s happening here? Is s/he trying to make me not trust my memory? Is it that I’m being manipulated?" Targets should think about other incidents the abuser used to control and drown them in their pathology. If possible, targets should sever the relationship. If not, it can be beneficial to set boundaries and limit contact with the abuser.

Articles Related to Gaslighting
People who found this article interesting might want to read Hare's Psychopathy Checklist Revised PCLR, along with Sadistic Personality Disorder – SPD in DSM-III and What is Sociopathy and Cleckley's List?
Sources:

• The Mask of Sanity, Herve Cleckley, (Textbook Publishers, 2003).
• The Sociopath Next Door, Martha Stout, (Broadway Books, 2005).
• Without Conscience, Robert D. Hare, (The Guilford Press, 1999).