I admit that I am a complete Blog Junky, I must be I have 2! One is about normal daily things or crafts or a random recipe. Then there is this one... It is like a skeleton in the closet. Sometimes you meet people and they say something nice and I can't help but think, if you only knew the me that was almost 2 years ago. What would you think of that lady if you knew me then? Or if you found out the things I have in this blog.
It has taken alot for me to like me! In past blogs I reference this, it is still hard to like me. To think of me in anything worthy. That is what Family/Domestic violence has done to me and my girls. My oldest daughter is just coming into her own, she is 12 years old. Growing into a lovely young lady but if you knew her almost 2 years ago you wouldn't think of her the way she is. Oh sure privately kids are always a handful. But in public she would hide, actually all my kids were that way. They were so torn down by words that my STBX has engrained in their minds.
You hear nasty words so often you believe them! I marvel at the change in us ladies since we have been gone. Our 2 year Independence day is next month on the 25th! That was a life changing moment!
I cruise around various blogs, websites and while visiting the Domestic Violence group on cafemom.com I was in awe at the thread that asked if you have custody of your children. Now I was feeling like I was the only one right now that is without one of my children. My son, 15 years old. I dropped him back off at his dad's the day he set fire in my apartment and threatened to kill me while I was sleeping. He said he would continue to harm me or do bad things until I took him to his dad's. So I did... That was the hardest thing I had to do. I thought leaving was hard! Boy that was so hard!
The women on that thread reminded me I was not alone and that so many of the story's of abuse sounded so like mine that I couldn't help thinking WOW! That was me! I wondered if these Abuser's read the same playbook on victimizing their loved ones. It is appalling and so sad at how many are being abused. It is equally sad and appalling at how our legal system seems to overlook or not care.
Our divorce is being continued over and over. I wanted a quick divorce.I did not want the house. I did not want the pension or the car or his savings. Heck, I left my wedding ring and some other pricey jewelry. Bad karma! I wanted to make a clean break of my marriage. I did have clothes and some other things I squirreled away. Much of which STBX stole from my apartment and later he destroyed or sold the items.
I feel a strange feeling of friendship and almost a kinship towards others like me. We survived! I am over coming and I am free...