I will not be silenced

Over 10 years ago there was a "me" that many of you would not recognize if you saw her. That lady was unsure of herself, felt depressed, suicidal and losing hope. Celebrating my recent "Survivalversary" was a HUGE milestone for me and my girls! 

Catch the video here-10-year Survivalversary! To step out of my comfort zone a little more, I have been reaching out to Podcasters, Bloggers, and other social media news outlets to share my story. 

I was honored by a local Facebook group to be interviewed. When it posted I received more "Shares" than any of my other posts! I was humbled by the victims, Survivors, and several parents of victims that reached out to me after reading that article. Not only that but a person from my past began to post some nasty and opposite comments. I never saw them but the kind fellow that ran the page did. He was threatened with legal action and took the post down. 

So, what's a Survivor to do? She remembers that she copied and pasted most of the article to her Instagram account! Here is a bit of what caused the ruckus:

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Me & Lt. Dan the Wonder Goat

“He likes the dark side; not the human side,” Melinda says, talking about her ex-husband. “I suffered every kind of abuse – verbal, physical, sexual.” Melinda is a survivor of domestic abuse and now shares her story, writes, and helps other victims of abuse. She is also a super cheerful, welcoming, warm person. “My husband was charming, smart and friendly, and a psychopath – like Ted Bundy. He told me that if I ever left him, he had chosen a spot to bury my body.” It took Melinda 18 years to leave him. “He didn’t just threaten me, but also the children and my family. He called me horrible names, hit me, beat me, told me I was worthless and said the world would be a better place if I walked in front of a bus… And at times I thought about doing just that.” 

Now, Melinda is happily married to Terry and lives in Newton County, Indiana. “Terry is Mr. Awesome,” she says, beaming. “Every day is great.” One of the challenges Melinda faced in deciding to leave her ex-husband were feelings of shame. “I worried what people would think, especially after staying with him for so long.” Once she did leave, she found, "Everyone was very supportive." After talking with Melinda for a while, she told me, “The abuse started before I got married, It began with my stepfather when I was four. My mother never knew... It was hard to tell her.” You can read Melinda's blog, "Hope when there was none"

Not to be deterred I am continuing to share anywhere I can so others know they are not alone and to bring light onto a dark subject. There can be healing! It takes time, patience, and a conscious choice to want to shake off the negative armor that has been holding onto you for so long. Breaking the patterns of abuse in your life from a partner, friend, parent, co-worker or family member is done in small stages. Find what healing modality works for you! What worked for me may not work for you.

Consider:

Journal- I can't tell you how eye-opening and wonderful this healing tool was for me. There were many tear soaked pages but this was my favorite and most effective healer for me.

Counseling/Therapy/Holistic healing

Medication- If you have medical issues or mental health challenges

Grounding- Or just getting outside for 5 minutes or more a day

Music- Put on some positive tunes and dance/sing

Buy yourself some flowers/something special

Learn a new hobby/career

Create a Bucket List- see mine here My Bucket List

Make a Vision board make a list of your dreams/goals

Go break or throw something- Dishes/Furniture/Rocks- make sure it is in a safe place and yours! There is something freeing about thinking about a situation or your ex and doing this. A friend shared that there is a place in our area where you pay $30 to blow off steam by breaking things!

Gun range/lessons/paintball

Self-defense/martial arts class

Support group in your area/online- These can get pretty heavy and you may need to step away from them from time to time. 

Call a friend or support person

Read a good book- Choose a self-help/inspirational book

Play a game/watch a video/TV- Something uplifting

Positive Affirmations

Mirror work

Arts n' Crafts

Play instrument

Meditate

If you have children that were exposed to abuse, even if they didn't see the abuse, kids are smart they probably heard you and could feel the tension. Get them involved in your healing! They need this too!

These are a few things you can do for yourself/kids. There are oodles more and if you have questions or would like more ideas please drop me a line. Before I go here is a shameless plug:

Purchase "Call me Master- A memoir of escaping abuse" and "Rising from the Ashes- Awakening the beauty of life after abuse" here Amazon.

OR

I do offer my books free in PDF form for victims and Survivors. If you do honor me with a purchase of my books, 100% of the proceeds of "Call me Master" goes back into my local community group 

Heart to Heart Outreach has an AMAZING team of gals that creates baskets of toiletries, kitchen and bath items for Survivors to start over. If you are interested in the PDF version please message me privately. I do also have these available for my group members- Hope when there was none Group which is a closed group focusing on self-love and healing. Stay safe! Feel free to message me if you have any questions or just want to connect with me. 

BIG HUGS,

Mel

I was married to a Psychopath and lived to tell about it

Taken March 2009

I wandered around a small pond on a beautiful sunny afternoon. I should be soaking up the beauty that Spring day in May of 2007. Instead, I was walking back to my car after crying buckets. I was feeling sorry for myself and add in a dash of guilt for leaving my then 15-year marriage. 

I ran away from my husband, going to the nearest shelter. Now there were questions ran through my head, was I being irrational? 

Maybe I imagined things were wrong in my relationship or it wasn't as bad as I thought. Perhaps the Ladies at the women's shelter didn't know what they were talking about (Yes, I really pondered that one). I questioned every memory, the fights, the promises that he would change, and where do I go from here?

About that time my cell chirped, I about jumped to the sky. My nerves were shot, every little sound and person that came near me scared me. I wasn't expecting calls nor did I want to talk to anyone.

I looked at the caller id and saw that it was from the hospital where "he" was. He had been admitted the day before for observation for attempting suicide after I hadn't returned home. 

Despite my best judgment, I answered. 

The voice on the other line was female. She introduced herself as one of the doctors evaluating "him" and wanted to reach out to provide me with an update of current findings that she found particular. 

She went on to describe the many DSM-IV (Diagnostic and

See Difference between Sociopath and Psychopath

Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 4th edition). He fit in the category for Depression, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, and more. 

My mind was spinning. I had no words. I was not sure how to feel. When she asked if I was still on the line, I stuttered that I was but was digesting all of this news. With that, she asked if I was okay and advised she had even more concerns. I nodded as if she could see me. She went on to ask if I knew who Ted Bundy was. Biography- Ted Bundy

I didn't understand. I asked said yes but what does that have to do with anything. I was puzzled and caught off guard by her question and saying of course. 

Her next comment floored me and threw me for a loop. "Melinda, this is between me and you but his obsession and fixation with you are not healthy. You need to stay away from him. What also causes my concern is his Psychopath tendencies. I compare him to Ted Bundy. He is charming, smart, and seems friendly."

My throat felt tight. I couldn't say anything. My mind was reeling! I forgot to breathe. She was going on and on but her voice became fuzzy. I couldn't comprehend more. It seemed unbelievable the news frightened me while at the same time I felt relieved. It wasn't in my head! I was experiencing situations that were due to him. 

Did I stay gone? No! I went back. I was won by pleading from his Mom. She said that he was sick and needed help to get better she had promises of change now that he was prescribed medication. Two months later I left for a second time after he moved in a sister wife. You heard me right! And I do not blame his Mom at all, she believed his promises too. 

I know you're shaking your head. That situation was also crazy and weird. As quickly as it happened she left. I realized my mistake of coming back that second time and began planning to leave for good. Believe or not I had hit rock bottom. I was suicidal with a twisted thought I wouldn't survive another year if I stayed. I was torn do I take my own life or do I just let him?

I left for good in February of 2009. 

I am ashamed to admit for well over two decades I was raped, suffered other sexual, verbal, emotional/mental, financial, and physical abuse. I allowed myself to not only be treated in such a way but to continue to stay on. Believe it or not, I felt sorry for my abuser! I believed him when I was told I would be ruined if I ever left him. That I would only be good for something if I was on my knees and I would never make it without him. 

During the time I stayed with him I was threatened to have my life, the lives of my children and loved ones taken. This threat followed after I left. I was physically stalked and cyberstalked. I was the target of a "Hit". 

Stories he generated to new friends and anyone that would listen painted me out to be the abuser. Even turning away my eldest Son against me. He went on to say I made up stories that he molested our eldest Daughter after she shared this heartbreaking information with me many years later. He told others that I was loose and possibly on drugs.

Yes, I stayed and believed his promises. I made choices that I thought would help our relationship. I made choices that I thought would help me break free without guilt. 

Should I have listened to my guts early on and just left? Yes. Should I have left sooner? Yes. Would I have saved myself decades of sadness? Yes. Is there still shame? Yes. Are there regrets? You betcha! 

What is done is done. I can't take back any of my own actions or how I handled situations. But, when I left that last time I saved my Daughters lives by leaving. I took back my life, dignity, and respect. 

This is a bit of my story. Can you relate? Now don't compare your story to mine. Just because you didn't experience the range of abuse that I had, don't think that maybe your situation isn't "that bad". Love Bug, abuse is abuse no matter how you try to make excuses for it. 

Dear One if any of this resonant with you and you want to talk privately, please message me here or on my Facebook page- Hope when there was none.

If you are in an emergency situation contact the police! Don't hesitate or wait until it is too late!

Here are some other great organizations that can help you-
Safe Horizon
National Domestic Violence

Visit my page Hope when there was none page for tips and inspiration. Find my 10-year Survivalversary video here-10-years out

I do have a closed support group on Facebook is for women of any age who are victims/Survivors of Abuse for healing and self-care.  Please message me privately here or on the Hope when there was none page to join. 

Please stay safe! Know you are not alone and that you are not to blame!



BIG HUGS!
Mel

P.S.- Can you help me by sharing this and commenting? My goal is to reach anyone that is not sure if they want to leave. I would really appreciate it!

*Find my books, "Call me Master" and "Rising from the Ashes" here- Amazon and visit my Facebook Author page for upcoming book releases, events or to book a speaking engagement here-Author page

This is what my ex did NOW! You will be surprised!

What did he do now?! It's not what you think! First some background:

My eldest Daughter, Jess, has been having issues with outstanding medical bills. WAY BACK, my ex, Will, was ordered to keep health insurance on the girls.

It has been hit or misses with the payments by the insurance company. I'm in the hole for thousands. Now that she is on her own the billing is now hers. She has had medical issues for years. (This goes deeper but for the sake of your time I won't get into that)

After a wild goose chase, she finally sorted some of the mess out and found out that bills and insurance paperwork filtered back to Will! Rather than forward the information to us he kept it. Sending a message through our Son, Nathan to ask her to contact Will to talk to him about the bills. 

She was upset about having to do so and called asking if I would contact Will for his help. Reluctantly, I was going to when by chance he called my cell! 

I KNOW! RIGHT?! 

We talked civilly and I verified the needed information for him to submit to the insurance company. I didn't grill him about why he didn't send the info to us. We were cordial to one another. I told you it's not what you think!

Jess excitedly phoned yesterday to say that her bills were paid! Well, how about that?! He does have his moments. As do most. Oh, he made a few snarky remarks but rather than fire back I let it go and just said thank you we appreciate it. Now, that's all I'm going to say about that except, "Thank you, Jesus!". 

I was honored to be asked to be part of Dimensions of Intersections! 

The mission of Dimensions of Intersections, Inc. is to "Plant SEEDS of Hope" with victims and survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and child abuse; and any individual who is in any way affected by mental illness with the hope of providing adequate Support, Education, Empathy, Empowerment and Diversity ("SEEDS") to those seeking our love, care and respect. Please check the organization at the link above. There are many wonderful changes that have been going on for the upcoming months!

Off topic, kinda... We are opening an Airbnb/Farmstay in Spring 2020. Our plans to have a healing sanctuary are still planned. I'm toying with possibly becoming incorporated for that venture. My heart is to help others that desperately need empowerment to get back on track. Check our page God's Breath Farm for updates on this and the sanctuary plans.  

Once you leave an abusive situation there is a "De-programming" time period. This doesn't happen overnight. You may not even realize that your reactions, flashbacks, or anxieties are tied together. Addressing triggers, positive behavior changes, building healthy boundaries, and counseling if necessary is essential to ease back into a "normal life". 

I have one more speaking engagement next week and I am super excited about and have two appearances planned for 2019 but plan to add as many as possible next year. 

I put out a few messages on social media in hopes of having some help finding groups and organizations to speak with. I won't give up hope to keep sharing my story of surviving abuse or the other topics I speak about. 

Have you checked the "Searching for the light" stories from victims and Survivors of abuse? Please do!

If you haven't picked up a copy of my book at local libraries in my part of Indiana (Lowell, Brook, Lake Village, or Demotte) they can be purchased online at Amazon. If you don't find them in your area please request the title! Also, right now I have a "Giveaway!" going on at Hope when there was none FB page


"Like this page" Giveaway!
Between 11/26 to 12/10, "Like 👍", "Share", and "Tag" a friend to my page, Hope when there was none be entered to win a copy of my books, "Call me Master" and "Rising from the Ashes"! The more friends you tag the more entries you are given the greater your chances of winning a copy! 

I started Hope when there was none Group! I'm pretty excited about that. It is a closed group for other victims and Survivors to safely share. I plan on asking other advocates for guest posts and interviews! I may make it a secret group come January but I'm still kicking that around. 

 So, Dear One, whoever you are, know you are in my prayers. If you need to talk send me a message privately. I'll be happy to listen.

Stay safe!


BIG HUGS!
Mel

My knees were shaking and my voice shook!

I admit that I was super nervous as I spoke at the St. Jude House Candlelight Vigil recently. I said a prayer before going on but I was still terribly nervous. My inner chatter was going crazy. Before we arrived I almost told Mr. Awesome that I changed my mind. 

I was letting fear creep into my head. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. I gave a presentation last night and the same voice came into my mind. Telling me that I was stupid. That people would laugh and that I should just leave. 

I punched fear in the face last night. I know in my heart this isn't about my ego or about me. It's about a calling that God placed in my heart to help reach out to others by sharing my story. 

God has put so many AMAZING people and events in my path in such a short period of time. I have been overwhelmed with thankfulness and gratitude. Sharing has been able to help heal me further and to kick that nasty voice in my head. 

My family and friends have been so supportive and loving. I find victims and survivors from all the corners of the earth. The thing is, there are so many similarities in our stories that it is eerie and sad. 

I hope to continue with my book tour and sharing this year and hope to keep going for the future. Plans for a healing sanctuary in the near future are in the works. Whether this would be a not-for-profit or a foundation type of thing is what I am

thinking. Though I admit to being in the dark about planning this. 

Can I also confess that this journey isn't anything that I thought it would be. It is so much more! I thank God every day for His grace and helping me through dark times in my life when all I wanted to do was give up. He didn't give up on me or let me to just throw in the towel. 

In other news, I did make it to the Gypsy Soul Retreats and presented "Vision Boards" to a fabulous group of Women. It was something I crossed off my Bucket List and I was pretty darned proud of myself for going! 

I have been trying to create more videos to add to our YouTube channel. A recent video that was supposed to be serious was a bit loud in the background... Well, you can view it on here! 

I mention on my other blog about how surreal my life is. And I know I have said it over and over, but it is! My worries at this point in my life (besides the usual bills and money is), "Do I grow my hair out because it's bugging me now?" Isn't that awesome!? Seriously, it seems dumb but that is my concern. I am loving this life of mine. :) 

There are little happenings that went on around the farm, please check them out here- My obsession: Glitter, Antiques and Homesteading

So, Dear One, whatever your journey, please know you are not alone! You are loved. You are amazing! You are worthy of joy and happiness. If you need to talk please message me privately. 

If I hadn't told you lately... I love you too!

BIG HUGS,

Mel 

P.S.- Have you heard about this campaign? 💜 Painting your ring finger #purple to show the world your vow to help spread #awareness about #domesticviolence 😍. You are also showing support for #safehorizon which says it is the country's largest organization that helps victims. Whether you are wearing purple ribbons, coloring your hair purple or #putthenailinit #speakup against #abuse 💜. Sharing your story may help change the course of lives!

P.P.S.- Have you had a chance to pick up a copy of my books? Find them here- Call me Master and Rising from the Ashes. Don't forget to look at my facebook page- Hope when there was none. 

If you know of a church or group that would like to have me speak at please drop me a message to blessmeplz@gmail.com.

**UPDATE**

Mr. Awesome and I headed out Friday. I met with a cool Lady about speaking to her group in November at Suzie's Cafe in Valpo. One of the waitresses there had amazing hair! That afternoon, guess who ended the debate on her haircut? YEP! This Lady!

My abuser saved my wisdom teeth and a lock of my hair!

I had been thinking about this for some time. It's one of those nagging things that I have been putting off sharing. The funny thing is that it's not "me" that needs to feel weird about this. 

I chatted today about this and mentioned I meant to share but I hadn't. She encouraged me to share after saying, "EW! Seriously?! He did that?!" I had to laugh about it. Now I can. Back then it seemed too dark to comprehend and share.

I had my wisdom teeth pulled in order to have my teeth fixed. My teeth are crooked. It's one of those things I didn't think much about, but Will did. He would tell me to stop smiling because it annoyed him that I didn't get my teeth fixed. He would stare at my teeth and after a while I stopped smiling around him and others. I became so dang self-conscious about it. 

Eventually, I agreed with him and made the decision to get braces.

So, they got pulled. The dentist gave them to me to share with the kids. I showed everyone when they got back from school and they wanted to share with Will when he arrived home from work. After that, I didn't see the teeth anymore. They disappeared. I just figured they ended up in the kid's toy box or in the garbage can.

I had hair down the middle of my back but it made no sense to keep it while I was operating my then, lawn care business. It kept getting in my way, the ponytail was causing more headaches, it was heavy, and at the end of the day of mowing very grassy. So, much to Will's objection, I cut it off. I had a bit of a pixie cut, much like I sport today. I brought home the ponytail to show Will and the kids and didn't see it again until years later.
In 2009, I made the final decision to leave and was cleaning out drawers for our escape. I found my wisdom teeth and my hair in a ziplock bag in his drawer! Why was I even in his drawer? At this point it was crunch time, I was in every drawer to look for loose change, hidden paperwork, and other personal stuff. 

I got the willies when I found them and the pit of my stomach churned uncomfortably. I also found the videotape we made and he threatened to share publicly if I ever decided to leave. I won't tell you what was on that but it wasn't pretty.  

I threw out the teeth and hair. The video was destroyed. And Will was not happy when he figured it out. The thing was that it was almost a day or two later when he left an angry voicemail that I took "his" property. I sent him a message that they weren't "his" they were mine and that he was creepy to want those back. 

He argued that he wanted them back since he couldn't have me. He could at least open the bag and smell the hair. He asked if I smelled the bag. He said it still smelled like my shampoo. 

Don't tell me that doesn't creep you out a bit. It still gives me the willies even 9 years later. The dark obsession and fascination he had with me was unnatural don't you think?

I'm so happy I got rid of everything especially after he later sought out voodoo to help aid him to have me return and for a hex. Sound strange? I was in contact with the Priestess that he had contacted for help. Quite by accident. Will shared a post on breaking up and reconciliation with myself and many on his email list. I grew bold and messaged everyone on that list with my story. 

The Priestess returned a message and advised she wouldn't be taking part in anything dark like that. She offered to pray and thanked me for sharing this information. She went on to say that Will paid her money for a few spells and one was a hex. 

My story is and isn't like others. I'm breaking open many more past events to educate and bring light into the darkness of abuse. Much of my past seems like someone created it from a book or TV show. It's real life and happened to us. 

I can laugh at some of this now. I needed that. To look back on some of the madness and find humor in some of the memories. 

Many years later after I finally left Will it was Terry(a.k.a. Mr. Awesome) that told me that my smile can light up a room, I wasn't sure how to take that. I was torn to feel all squishy inside and wondering if he was making fun of me. 

In other news, the girls are emancipated! Will filed paperwork last week! I don't know who is more excited! It is closure. FINALLY!

So, Dear One, stay safe,

BIG HUGS! 

Mel 

P.S.- Have you had read my book, "Call me Master" or "Rising from the Ashes"?  May I trouble you to leave a review if you hadn't already done so. I would greatly appreciate it! This helps in the ranking so my book can be seen by more. Thank you!

P.P.S.- Here is where I will be next! I hope you can make these appearances. I would love to meet you! :) 
(Gypsy Soul Retreat is SOLD OUT)

Do you still have hopes and dreams?

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler." - Henry David Thoreau

Yep! That's me! 

In this picture, life was taking a turn. I was topsy-turvy as my parents were going through a divorce. I felt as though my world was crazy. Unsure what I wanted to do. Somewhere along that time there was a plan to run away to California with my friends Betty, Evie, and Michelle but I chickened out! (Later, I found out they did as well. 😁)At that moment each of our lives were on a roller coaster. 

I thought when I was 18 I could live my dreams. To go backpacking in Europe, to become a Librarian, Actress/Singer, Teacher, Writer, and a Parapsychologist.  

Above all, I didn't want to be hurt again. You see my then Step-father, whom for the sake of legal issues I will call Frank had a way of being abusive to my Mom and later towards me. 

I promised never to be in that situation ever! 

Funny, looking back on that now. How my life unfolded to spiral into a cycle back to that low place where I was when I was a child. My dreams lay scattered like fallen leaves on the ground. 

Early into the relationship with my now ex-husband, Will I had to let those dreams go. He amongst many other things he thought they were stupid. They wouldn't make money to pay bills. I needed to be realistic and to grow up.

I went to bed in January 2008 with Will. And at that moment a zillion thoughts were going through my head. 

Prior to this, we had just gotten into a fight about something that had little meaning or relevance. It was just a way to assert his control over me. 

I had gotten to the point where I was becoming bolder to stand up for myself. For what felt like the hundredth time I had told him hours before that I didn't love him anymore and to let me go. 

Now in bed my thoughts race to:

Is he going to start something with me or threaten me or worse? 

Will this be the night that my kids don't have a Mom anymore? What will happen to them?

And...

How did it come to this? How did I allow this to happen? Why didn't I stop him the first time he raised his voice or his hand?

He continued to pepper me with questions. I rolled over and clutched my pillow with one hand and felt for my knife that I had hidden between the mattresses just in case. I was waiting for a punch or blow. Instead, Will jumped out of bed and began hitting his head against the wall about ten times. Finally, he punched the screen out of the window and grabbed the blankets off the bed after I hadn't responded to his actions or when he was calling my name. 

Inwardly, I knew I couldn't do pretend anymore. This wasn't a life. To live as if we were walking on eggshells?! 

I look back on that moment and I can see it, feel it and breath it as though it were just yesterday. I've had so many other memories come to the surface recently. I'm guessing due to discussing my story. I share many of these moments in time with Mr. Awesome. He is my sounding board and best friend. 

Things have been especially worrisome as I have been reminded of how much hurt this caused my grown children after one of my girls advised she was feeling suicidal a few weeks back. 

None of this was ever about me. Leaving that past relationship was more for my children than myself. I wanted them to know that there is normalcy out in the world. 

It's after 1:00 A.M. now. In four days we will celebrate one of two wedding anniversaries for Mr. Awesome and me. Two? It's a long story, email me privately if you would like to know. 😊

What relevance is any of this? 

Why dreams my Friend! You see there was a time I couldn't say my dreams out loud so I went inward. After sharing the first time I didn't want to make that mistake again. Now, I have a life that is far more wonderful than I could EVER have imagined. 

Don't get me wrong there are still things that go askew. You know, normal stuff, like noticing someone took the last sheet of toilet paper but left the empty tube on the holder AFTER you are done with your business. Or the roof is leaking, car issues, or running late for church. 

You get the picture! NORMAL stuff! The following aren't brags. They are just so dang unbelievable to me that I need to share so you too can believe there are happy endings.

Here I am remarried. 

Had my last child at 40!

Live in my dream house. 

I have no bedtime. 

I can read whenever I want. 

I can come and go as I please. 

I can eat at 2:00 A.M. if I want to. (FYI, I did have a donut a few minutes ago.)

I have become a Healer.

A published Author.

Beginning Transformational Speaker.

I am a Vision Board Coach.

Homesteader.

Daydreamer.

And most importantly... I am alive! That revelation has the greatest impact. I rolled over in bed and poked at Mr. Awesome before coming down to munch on my donut and told him how unreal this life is. How blessed I feel. 

I rambled on that my pressing issues are to worry about keeping the chickens and ducks penned in so the predators don't keep picking them off. But, this my Friend is now my "normal stuff"!

There is no more worrying about the next few minutes, hour, or days for fear of getting hurt physically or otherwise. I can dream about life and feel confident about my tomorrow. No matter if it's the unglamorous job of mucking out the coop, pulling weeds, talking about plans for an Airbnb, or how I'm coming on my next book. This life feels as though it is just starting for me!

So, wherever you are on your path, please don't give up hope. Call a shelter, local law enforcement or reach out to a national group in your area for help. If you don't know who to contact please drop me a line. I am happy to locate a group or organization for you. There is a life out there waiting. Now, if you and your partner can do counseling that is excellent! If the relationship is worth saving by all means go for it!

Don't wait to leave as long as I did- over 20 years! Especially if you have children. I'm not saying it isn't going to be hard. The moment you take that leap of faith you are faced with a danger from your partner. There may be threats, stalking/cyberstalking, dozens of phone/text messages, and more. Please don't let this scare you. I want to be honest. I don't want to paint a pretty picture of rainbows and flowers. Reality is that leaving was the hardest and the best thing I ever did. 

Remember those dreams I mentioned? Well, I may not do "those" but I have many others and I can now as Thoreau said, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler."  

Feel free to contact me to talk or if you would like a virtual hug. 😍 I'm praying for you. 

Much love to you! Stay safe!

BIG HUGS,

Mel

P.S.- If you are in the NW Indiana, Michigan or Illinois area I will have a few book signing appearances in September and October. I hope you can make it! Gypsy Soul Retreats has a few spots left, find ticket info here- Gypsy Soul Retreats and check out the Gypsy Soul Retreats Facebook page

Have I told you lately that I love you?

Hey Love Bug!

Have you wondered why I say, "Have I told you lately that I love you?" or thought to yourself, "Woman, you don't know me or my story! I'm a stranger and we have never met!"

Your right. I don't know you. I don't know your story. I don't know what has brought you to this page, but I can tell you that you probably haven't heard "I love you" by someone that means it. Now if you have kids or a loving partner or family member that's different. But, for so many people those wee words are nonexistent. Perhaps you just start sharing smiles or greetings throughout your day. 

Okay here is the "Woo-woo" part. I have been on a journey for much of my life and feel that sharing those words with everyone that I have met, have yet to meet, and beyond is special. Sending that positive energy throughout my tribe, my social media, and to the world is a wonderful thing to do!

You see the funny thing is you don't know who you are going to effect throughout your day. That smile, that hug, that "Good day!" or "I love you" can give such a warm feeling to someone. I know, it's happened to me! It's taken what could have been a crappy day and turned it around.

I feel so good doing it. Oh, it's not for kudos when I get to those pearly gates. I'm doing it because I enjoy seeing smiles from others.

You may be saying, "Good golly! What does this have to do with abuse?!"

It doesn't.

It makes you feel good. It's also a positive step that may take you out of your comfort zone. You may meet people this way that you may not have. It's not just a pay it forward thing. Showing compassion, love, or just a hug with someone that you know or don't goes a LONG way!

Speaking of "I love you" have you done your mirror work lately? Have you been able to say those three little words?

Now onto the news! I have so much to share! I have been doing book signings in my local area and have been overwhelmed (grateful, humbled, and honored) by the support, love, and opportunities that have opened up!

"Such as", you say?
I round up my final book signings tomorrow at Somethin's Brewin' Coffee Shop & Cafe at ReChic Unique Boutique in Demotte from 1:00 P.M. to 3:00 P.M.

I was interviewed for the Lowell Tribune! I have to ask when that will be out but I'm pretty excited!

I will be speaking to a lovely group of Gals from a bible study group I attend from time to time called Mon Ami- The Bridge Church- 615 West Clark St., Rensselaer, Indiana 47978, on July 9th.

Catch me on "The Bill and Kali Show" on July 11th, WVPL FM 103.1 out of Valpo at 11:00 P.M. I believe that will also be on Facebook.

There are two possible speaking engagements with local organizations.

I'll be taking part in a new podcast with a new Friend in the upcoming months.

July 30th I have a book signing at the super friendly Brook Library from 5:30 P.M. to 6:30 P.M.

I'll be showing others how to create vision boards with the super talented Gypsy Soul Retreat Ladies in September!

You can find me speaking to a MOPS meeting- TBA

GOOD GRAVY! I'm not complaining! These things have been on my affirmations, bucket list, (Speaking of which I really need to update the one I have on my blog!) and vision board.

Now, these aren't bragging. I am not one to boast or brag. I'm blown away!

What's more beautiful to me is the Survivors and victims that I have been able to talk to during my signings or those that have reached out after hearing about me from friends or family. That is what all of this is about!

To reach out to someone that is trapped or just getting out of a broken relationship. Letting them know they are not to blame for what happened. Reassuring them they made the right decision or are making the right decision about leaving.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I can't "make" a person leave an abusive partner. I can tell them what steps they should take and how to stay safe. It's frustrating to be on the outside of this broken person that can't leave for a variety of reason or perhaps can't stay away.

I can listen.

Be a shoulder.

Or just remind them they are loved.

I hope whatever journey you are on that you are safe. If you are not please reach out to local authorities, www.thehotline.org, or shelter. Even if it's just for advice. I am happy to listen if you need to talk. Feel free to message me at blessmeplz@gmail.com or my Facebook group Hope when there was none.

I love you Dear One! I really do! I'm sending out prayers,warm fuzzies, and good vibes to you. Be brave, step out of your comfort zone and send a greeting to someone or remind your loved ones that you love them. Time is short not to.

BIG HUGS,
Mel

P.S.- There is more news! On my Lyme journey and an update about our little homestead at Godsbreath Farm.