Tuesday, September 18, 2018

My abuser saved my wisdom teeth and a lock of my hair!

I had been thinking about this for some time. It's one of those nagging things that I have been putting off sharing. The funny thing is that it's not "me" that needs to feel weird about this. 

I chatted today about this and mentioned I meant to share but I hadn't. She encouraged me to share after saying, "EW! Seriously?! He did that?!" I had to laugh about it. Now I can. Back then it seemed too dark to comprehend and share.

I had my wisdom teeth pulled in order to have my teeth fixed. My teeth are crooked. It's one of those things I didn't think much about, but Will did. He would tell me to stop smiling because it annoyed him that I didn't get my teeth fixed. He would stare at my teeth and after a while I stopped smiling around him and others. I became so dang self-conscious about it. 

Eventually, I agreed with him and made the decision to get braces.
So, they got pulled. The dentist gave them to me to share with the kids. I showed everyone when they got back from school and they wanted to share with Will when he arrived home from work. After that, I didn't see the teeth anymore. They disappeared. I just figured they ended up in the kid's toy box or in the garbage can.

I had hair down the middle of my back but it made no sense to keep it while I was operating my then, lawn care business. It kept getting in my way, the ponytail was causing more headaches, it was heavy, and at the end of the day of mowing very grassy. So, much to Will's objection, I cut it off. I had a bit of a pixie cut, much like I sport today. I brought home the ponytail to show Will and the kids and didn't see it again until years later.
In 2009, I made the final decision to leave and was cleaning out drawers for our escape. I found my wisdom teeth and my hair in a ziplock bag in his drawer! Why was I even in his drawer? At this point it was crunch time, I was in every drawer to look for loose change, hidden paperwork, and other personal stuff. 

I got the willies when I found them and the pit of my stomach churned uncomfortably. I also found the videotape we made and he threatened to share publicly if I ever decided to leave. I won't tell you what was on that but it wasn't pretty.  

I threw out the teeth and hair. The video was destroyed. And Will was not happy when he figured it out. The thing was that it was almost a day or two later when he left an angry voicemail that I took "his" property. I sent him a message that they weren't "his" they were mine and that he was creepy to want those back. 

He argued that he wanted them back since he couldn't have me. He could at least open the bag and smell the hair. He asked if I smelled the bag. He said it still smelled like my shampoo. 


Don't tell me that doesn't creep you out a bit. It still gives me the willies even 9 years later. The dark obsession and fascination he had with me was unnatural don't you think?

I'm so happy I got rid of everything especially after he later sought out voodoo to help aid him to have me return and for a hex. Sound strange? I was in contact with the Priestess that he had contacted for help. Quite by accident. Will shared a post on breaking up and reconciliation with myself and many on his email list. I grew bold and messaged everyone on that list with my story. 

The Priestess returned a message and advised she wouldn't be taking part in anything dark like that. She offered to pray and thanked me for sharing this information. She went on to say that Will paid her money for a few spells and one was a hex. 

My story is and isn't like others. I'm breaking open many more past events to educate and bring light into the darkness of abuse. Much of my past seems like someone created it from a book or TV show. It's real life and happened to us. 

I can laugh at some of this now. I needed that. To look back on some of the madness and find humor in some of the memories. 

Many years later after I finally left Will it was Terry(a.k.a. Mr. Awesome) that told me that my smile can light up a room, I wasn't sure how to take that. I was torn to feel all squishy inside and wondering if he was making fun of me. 

In other news, the girls are emancipated! Will filed paperwork last week! I don't know who is more excited! It is closure. FINALLY!

So, Dear One, stay safe,

BIG HUGS! 

Mel 

P.S.- Have you had read my book, "Call me Master" or "Rising from the Ashes"?  May I trouble you to leave a review if you hadn't already done so. I would greatly appreciate it! This helps in the ranking so my book can be seen by more. Thank you!

P.P.S.- Here is where I will be next! I hope you can make these appearances. I would love to meet you! :) 
(Gypsy Soul Retreat is SOLD OUT)




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