I will not be silenced

Over 10 years ago there was a "me" that many of you would not recognize if you saw her. That lady was unsure of herself, felt depressed, suicidal and losing hope. Celebrating my recent "Survivalversary" was a HUGE milestone for me and my girls! 

Catch the video here-10-year Survivalversary! To step out of my comfort zone a little more, I have been reaching out to Podcasters, Bloggers, and other social media news outlets to share my story. 

I was honored by a local Facebook group to be interviewed. When it posted I received more "Shares" than any of my other posts! I was humbled by the victims, Survivors, and several parents of victims that reached out to me after reading that article. Not only that but a person from my past began to post some nasty and opposite comments. I never saw them but the kind fellow that ran the page did. He was threatened with legal action and took the post down. 

So, what's a Survivor to do? She remembers that she copied and pasted most of the article to her Instagram account! Here is a bit of what caused the ruckus:

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Me & Lt. Dan the Wonder Goat

“He likes the dark side; not the human side,” Melinda says, talking about her ex-husband. “I suffered every kind of abuse – verbal, physical, sexual.” Melinda is a survivor of domestic abuse and now shares her story, writes, and helps other victims of abuse. She is also a super cheerful, welcoming, warm person. “My husband was charming, smart and friendly, and a psychopath – like Ted Bundy. He told me that if I ever left him, he had chosen a spot to bury my body.” It took Melinda 18 years to leave him. “He didn’t just threaten me, but also the children and my family. He called me horrible names, hit me, beat me, told me I was worthless and said the world would be a better place if I walked in front of a bus… And at times I thought about doing just that.” 

Now, Melinda is happily married to Terry and lives in Newton County, Indiana. “Terry is Mr. Awesome,” she says, beaming. “Every day is great.” One of the challenges Melinda faced in deciding to leave her ex-husband were feelings of shame. “I worried what people would think, especially after staying with him for so long.” Once she did leave, she found, "Everyone was very supportive." After talking with Melinda for a while, she told me, “The abuse started before I got married, It began with my stepfather when I was four. My mother never knew... It was hard to tell her.” You can read Melinda's blog, "Hope when there was none"

Not to be deterred I am continuing to share anywhere I can so others know they are not alone and to bring light onto a dark subject. There can be healing! It takes time, patience, and a conscious choice to want to shake off the negative armor that has been holding onto you for so long. Breaking the patterns of abuse in your life from a partner, friend, parent, co-worker or family member is done in small stages. Find what healing modality works for you! What worked for me may not work for you.

Consider:

Journal- I can't tell you how eye-opening and wonderful this healing tool was for me. There were many tear soaked pages but this was my favorite and most effective healer for me.

Counseling/Therapy/Holistic healing

Medication- If you have medical issues or mental health challenges

Grounding- Or just getting outside for 5 minutes or more a day

Music- Put on some positive tunes and dance/sing

Buy yourself some flowers/something special

Learn a new hobby/career

Create a Bucket List- see mine here My Bucket List

Make a Vision board make a list of your dreams/goals

Go break or throw something- Dishes/Furniture/Rocks- make sure it is in a safe place and yours! There is something freeing about thinking about a situation or your ex and doing this. A friend shared that there is a place in our area where you pay $30 to blow off steam by breaking things!

Gun range/lessons/paintball

Self-defense/martial arts class

Support group in your area/online- These can get pretty heavy and you may need to step away from them from time to time. 

Call a friend or support person

Read a good book- Choose a self-help/inspirational book

Play a game/watch a video/TV- Something uplifting

Positive Affirmations

Mirror work

Arts n' Crafts

Play instrument

Meditate

If you have children that were exposed to abuse, even if they didn't see the abuse, kids are smart they probably heard you and could feel the tension. Get them involved in your healing! They need this too!

These are a few things you can do for yourself/kids. There are oodles more and if you have questions or would like more ideas please drop me a line. Before I go here is a shameless plug:

Purchase "Call me Master- A memoir of escaping abuse" and "Rising from the Ashes- Awakening the beauty of life after abuse" here Amazon.

OR

I do offer my books free in PDF form for victims and Survivors. If you do honor me with a purchase of my books, 100% of the proceeds of "Call me Master" goes back into my local community group 

Heart to Heart Outreach has an AMAZING team of gals that creates baskets of toiletries, kitchen and bath items for Survivors to start over. If you are interested in the PDF version please message me privately. I do also have these available for my group members- Hope when there was none Group which is a closed group focusing on self-love and healing. Stay safe! Feel free to message me if you have any questions or just want to connect with me. 

BIG HUGS,

Mel