I left my Abuser on 2/28/2009, it almost Independence day for me next month! To a certain degree, sadly I will have to remain in contact with our Abuser (the girls and I) until they are of age. According to the court system if I sway from any visitations or phone contact between them and their father I could get in serious trouble. As frustrating as it is, our court's are clogged with separated and divorcing relationships which hardens many of the officials that they do not seem to care, in my opinion. I have met some wonderful women over the past few years that are/were victims of DV. Some cases far worse then my own, stories with sexual abuse of children or physical abuse so bad they ended up close to death in a hospital.
BUT! In talking with several officials off the record a person can not be perscuted for bad parenting alone or because the guy was a total schmuck. Sadly for something drastic to be done an assault landing one in the hospital or worse must take place.
I have an Order of Protection, but it is worth is as much as the paper it is printed on. A local police official explained to me that unless I was found in a bad way there is really nothing they can do. I had countless emails, text messages, voicemails about threats of further violence to me and later my significant other. 2 men were solicited to kill me, video taped and pictures were to be taken of my body after the deed was to be done. I do have one written affidavit with this fact but the other man was afraid to come forward. So my Abuser remains on the street. Sadly I had to leave my son in his care because of the brainwashing my spouse hammered into him in summer of 2009. My son set a fire in my closet in my apartment and brought 4 knives to kill me with while I was sleeping, he admitted to me as I drove him to his Dad's.
Now I have not seen my son since a attack that took place at the court house in November 2009 between my son and my significant other.
I recieve nasty death threats from my son now. My heart was broke! I could not safely take him in due to his threats. And at his age, 15 years old, I am unsure if our relationship will ever be repaired.
About 3 weeks after I left my Abuser I looked up several old friends and after confering with my sister, I decided to kick up my heels and just go out for a night to relax. That is when I got in touch with Terry. He had been a Consigner in the Antique shop I ran with my spouse. There was never nothing between us prior to this meeting. On more then one occassion Terry had found me teared up about my spouse and he told me, lose the guy and I will buy you a celebratory drink. I of course at the time was not thinking of that. But about 5 months later I took him up on that.
He and I were pea's in a pod since! We have a beautiful baby boy together and reside cautiously about 6 blocks from our Abuser. Getting into a relationship was futherest from my mind at the time. And at the shelter they warn against getting into a relationship due to you repeating the cycle with similar persons. I agree and can see why. I truely believe our relationship is rare. Of course there are problems because the element that I was cheating during my marriage has came into play. The babys paternity is also on the board and we need to get a test before our next court date, despite my spouse being vocal that it is not his. (My spouse had a vasectomy after our youngest was born 11 years ago)
Oh I can go on and on...