Saturday, August 6, 2011

Not every one needs to leave if they are hit

Now before you jump down my throat, hear me out.

In some cases there are incidents where there is the "One" time when someone loses it and flips their lid. Whether it be in a fit of rage or what have you. I have met a few people in my time where they're mate had one of those "lost it" moments and they never had another again. Depending on the severity of the event and the effects of those involved many of those people choose to stay with the person.

Letting them know that if it happens again they can leave or the other would leave. Oh I have had a moment of just losing it time's. I think everyone has. Whether you say something or do something really dumb. This blog is actually dedicated to the abuse that happens on a consistant and regular basis.

If you partner has a bad day and vents. No it's not right, and it's never right to lash out physically or emotionally. It is personal judgement that needs to used in each incident to decide if this is a one time deal or a total deal breaker for you.

I'm inclined to say if any relationship can be salvaged from DV that is awesome! The small percentage of those that do salvage them is so small and tiny.

There can be hope.

It won't happen over night.

It is not a quick fix to repair months or years of abuse.

It is a process that all involved MUST be on board for. All MUST be open for communicating with a counselor or support group.

It MUST be ok for everyone to vent openly and unafraid of the ramifications of the emotions and words/statements that come up.

AND most IMPORTANTLY~ He/She MUST want to change! Not to change they're mind a few days later and start all over.

So if you are ditching Mr/Mrs Wonderful because of one slip, think about it. If you are thinking of ditching your long term abuser, no one can tell you when the perfect time to leave is. There never is and if you don't just jump, you may never do it.

How much can you take?

How long do you want your children/friends/family to see you like this?

*If you need a Safety plan please check out my tags for this*

As always God bless and stay safe!

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