A little about me

My photo
Brook, IN, United States
Abuse doesn't stop at the court room. Melinda has shared her battles in her life and through the court room as she navigates through the legal system Bringing encouragement, insight and empowerment to those that are in a abusive relationship. She is in the process of creating a new life, speaking engagements to "Break the Silence" of abuse, while putting a face to abuse. She is currently working on writing a book about her experiences as a Survivor.View short Bio here- https://www.patheos.com/blogs/ahappymedium/2013/02/notbrokenbutbrave/

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Finding your voice!

You finally take the leap of faith and leave. You are now on your own trying to find your way, by now you may have gone through dozens of tissue, whether or not you loved your abuser or lost that love long ago. Crying and maybe even screaming may just be because you are finally free! You may be scared of what the future holds, perhaps you left with just the clothes on your back or you are jobless or the future seems bleak to you.

That old relationship seems like an ending, which it is! You are beginning the first day of the rest of your life! As crazy as it sounds no matter what age you are this is a do-over. A new start! A fresh start! It is not all sweetness and rainbows, any relationship that ends no matter what the reason is sad. It's ok to cry, it's ok to doubt, it's ok to feel like you want to go back, and that maybe it will work.

Whether you are leaving for the 1st time or the 11th time do not go back! Don't look back! Look forward! Keep your chin up, things will get better with time. Sorry to sound like a cliche but time does heal and it does get better. It takes tiny steps to start to love yourself again and to find you inside the scars but you can do it!

You will find your voice again and when you do it is the most amazing incident that happens to you! To feel empowered again is marvelous! To know that you do NOT have to ever go through any abusive ordeals again is the most wonderful thing! It will happen!

Reinvest in you by going back to school, taking up a hobby, read again, start taking better care of yourself, spend more time with your children (They have to heal too!), and reinvent yourself! It maybe that you have to lose the friends you used to have or not hang out with the same group of people, mainly because in most cases history can repeat itself, the chances of you ending up in another bad relationship is very high!  Especially after you leave your Abuser!

Be strong! You can do begin again! Finding your voice is the most important and rewarding things you can do for yourself! I'm proud of you!


  1. Thank you for writing about your nightmare. In some disgusting and twisted way it makes me feel more connected to my daughter who is still with her abuser. I'm so sad for what you went through. But, I'm happy you are free!!!!!

  2. Thank you! I'm so sorry for you and your daughter! It can be so hard to listen to a loved one that is dealing with the madness. Please remember not to push too hard about leaving an abuse. Arm her with information but back off a bit. Keep reminding her to be strong and I know this can be confusing but like a teenager there are times when a victim can dig her or his heels in and stay with the abuser. You are wonderful that you continue to support and love your daughter! That is great! Prayers for you and your daughter!