I emailed him a month ago stating that I did not want to have any correspondence that is in text message form. So what does he do? He continues to text me. Claiming he can reach me anyway he wants.
So get this, his Mom calls, says that STBX says he wants to see the girls Sunday is his weekend.
(He walked out of our calendar meeting so we never formally set up a schedule). His Mom also states that she wants them for 6 hours. I am to drop them off at 1 or before and pick them up at 6. I was not surprised. She was quick and abrupt with me. I told her no we are out of town. She said is that your answer? I said yes. So later that evening I receive messages from STBX saying that I am to drop off the girls if I don't he will go to the district attorney on Monday and file a report about this. So he then demands I bring them over. He later sends several messages that talk about us not at home and getting the girls to bed early. Something more about my Son having to live with the same rules regarding the same bedtime rules (9:00 cool down and 9:30 bedtime) Which even though it is summer and we are away I am still keeping that!
And he ends with a "Have a great night" What the heck?!
Control
He no longer has any with me. This irks the hell out of him. He will use any means or reason to get even with me. Even of course if it means lying about situations and incidents.
I just want closure...
I am dealing with the exact same thing with my ex-husband who I have two young children with. He is an extrememly jealous and miserable person who hides his income so he won't have to pay us the child support he should, lies about anything and everything if it will benefit him, criticizes me and my family every chance he gets (even puts us down in front of the kids), constantly is trying to upset my family and I by his comments, harassment, and his dragging us to court over and over again so he can lie more to further reduce his child support payments and try to gain more parenting/visitation time. Now to make matters worse, we also have to deal with his crazy girlfriend who not only encourages my ex's outrageous behavior but participates in it and often instigates it! It is frustrating and exhausting. I beg everyone reading this to please, PLEASE keep your eyes wide open and pay attention to any red flags you notice in the early stages of a relationship (some good ones are listed in the Gaslight's-Sociopath mind games link to the left). If you don't know what the typical red flags are just search the internet for early covert abuse or warning signs of an abusive personality. Believe me, you don't ever want to be in the kind of situation I am right now where an abusive piece of sociopathic crap like my ex has a legal right to interrupt and interfere with your life for 18 years or more (which is most certainly what will happen if you have children together, because there really truly is little worse than having to deal with someone like him for such a long period of time. Just think about how long that is when you are miserable. If you choose to ignore the signs, you'll no doubt eventually find yourself lonely,devastated, and stuck with someone who cares only about himself and, if you're like me, the never-ending threats and attempts to intimidate and control you, your children, and your family will eventually take their toll and wear you down and stress you out to the point you start thinking of any and all kinds of solutions to rid yourself of the problem (if you know what I mean).:) I guess what I'm basically trying to say is that sociopaths can and will gladly destroy you life if you let them in, and they can make even the most kind, caring, intelligent, and rational person so extremely tired, stressed, and miserable that they either snap, become severely traumatized and depressed, or anxiety-ridden. None of which you want to happen or be. So my advice to anyone who is dating or married to someone who displays any troubling signs is to get the heck out of that relationship NOW (while you still can!). No one and nothing in the world are more important than your family, your self-confidence, your self-worth, and your sanity. Don't give it all up to a life-sucking psycho.
ReplyDeleteAMEN! I agree with your comments about watching for signs! I am so sorry for what you are going through. Are you leaving a paper trail? Gaslighters have no sympathy, no conscience and no morals. They are all about them and they don't care about anyone else. They gladly leave painful memories, threats and enjoy making everyone miserable. Can you ask to make Parenting time supervised? I'm glad you got out, but funny thing is, with an abuser in some ways you never really get out, do you? Be safe! Keep track of EVERYTHING this man and his GF do/say and let the court know! BIG PRAYERS for you! God bless!
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