Look at these seven areas of personal vulnerability? Think honestly about whether your vulnerabilities could be any of the following:
- The need for approval (you are very sensitive to criticism and the good opinions of others, you feel the need to keep others happy).
- The need to be loved (you feel happiest when others approve and love you, without it you feel worthless and rejected, if someone you like doesn’t like you, you feel unlovable).
- The need to succeed (you feel you must be outstanding in one area at least, you feel inferior and a failure if you do not succeed).
- The need to be perfect (if it can’t be done excellently, then there is no point in doing it at all, falling short of perfection is pathetic and B (even C) grade, making a mistake is devastating.
- The sense of feeling deserving (if you can’t get what you are entitled to, then it’s not fair, it’s unjust, unreasonable and frustrating; if you are kind and thoughtful then others should be kind back).
- The sense of being able to influence all things (if something happens, somebody gets upset then it is your fault and you are responsible).
- The sense that happiness is contingent upon external things (you feel you have no control over your emotions, your feelings, that happiness is dependent on external factors).