A little about me

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Emails with my Abuser

First of all, I honestly wish I could get into this man's head just for about 5 mins. I swear I don't know where he comes up with this garbage. The last few made me chuckle, I hadn't thought about answering those. It seems that whenever I answer he needs to have the last word in the matter.

Custody and visitation was to stay as they are until Oct court pre-trial. The girls had visitation on Sunday. Drop off went well but pick up is another story. My in-laws allowed R to stay at the house, which violated the Parenting time order. So next time I just bring the police as an escort. No there was no trouble, apparently he was talking with his latest dish of the month. Fine with me, BUT, that is not how it is to go. Anyway long story but I'm publizing the emails between us. My Gaslighter, Narcissistic, Pyschopath, Borderline Personality STBX is showing all of his colors. In many ways these things irk me. It's alittle creepy that he kept our email address and he has my email address as Melinda my love...

I'll explain in another post tomorrow!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From melnrob5@yahoo.com
toMelinda Allen <blessmeplz@gmail.com>,
dateWed, Jun 15, 2011 at 4:44 PM
subjectChildren
If you blocked me you have violated the order,,their are times i cant get out with my phone
and need to text ,,If anything bad happens I may need you to run over to see if matt is alright ,Matt is still raising his medication levels ,and may have a seizure and if I can not get a hold of him I will need you to go buy eaven if you just send jess to the door.I realize now that matthews health means nouthing to you ..so childern safty is not your concern ? hummm??
 Remember to add terrys income to the decleration and financial report .He is living with you ,even if he is not at home .His income must be counted since he has made himself part of the family unit.
From Melinda Allen blessmeplz@gmail.com
toRob <melnrob5@yahoo.com>
dateFri, Jun 17, 2011 at 12:19 AM
subjectRe: Children
No the great thing is I have not violated the order. We have a home phone and an email address for you to use. Me run over to check on Matt? If he is doing that bad, then I suggest a live in nurse or some kind of care that would have someone there in case of something happening. I didn't realize it was that bad! Why are you not having someone with him? That sounds neglectful.
I did care about the safety of the children and that is why I left you!
As for the Financial information from Terry. NO! Prior to me losing my Atty I brought that question up. Nope it is not relevant. He and I are not married. We do not have joint accounts and my name is on all the bills here. We do not keep anything jointly. Nice try. Leave him out of this.
I was told buy a Friend of Eric's ,that you are dealing drugs ,,this i do not know..I hope not . You don't look like you are on drugs ,but I guess it would be a bad thing if you did them and sold them .I truly don't know .You have been away from me ,and I don't know what you do anymore..
If you are !!!stop!!!you know better ,I don't know who this guy was he just said he was Eric's Friend ,although he looked like he crawled out from under a dirty car ,and knew Eric's full name ,and yours . I do not trust the whole thing ..
Hun I will never let our kids near you alone if this is true...as I would think I would be right to do so..Hun Please ,,me to you  <<<<<If you are doing this ??? get out of it ..Please.  Please,,Hun this is not the first time I herd this about you ,,If its terry then get out of that situation . If its you ??I say this in a loving way ,,,ARE YOU NUTS???...
I know it would be to my benefit that you are caught dealing drugs ,,,but I don't want the kids to see that ,,so please stop it if you are..I would way more love to see you patch things up with Matt.but I don't think you love him enough to admit all you have done ...He has found a motherly connection with my fiance so he does have some help on that area .And I have been trying to smooth things out ,,but like I said you destroyed that in court today ,,I had been working on that for months ,and you wiped that out in like two seconds.
The Best advice you can get from all this ,,is this((((( You Can Not Lie To Matthew)))))
fromRob melnrob5@yahoo.com
toMelinda Allen <blessmeplz@gmail.com>,
dateWed, Jun 15, 2011 at 5:35 PM
subjectTalked
I will tell you melinda I talked to this gentleman a few days before my birthday. I have been thinking about this and I did not say anything because I did not believe him . I tried to find out if he hung around Eric ,and if it helps I did not see him near Eric. I still Feel it is nonsense ,,at least I do hope so ..I have not been following you because I just think someone is trying to cause trouble .
If It matters I am praying that you are not doing this .
I would love to help with Matt but when you said you don't see him because he is violent to you ,,,you screwed that up ..I don't know where to start anymore ,I don't know how to help you with Matt..I know its hard but as I have admitted that I was abusive to you before the first time you left me ,,,you are going to have to admit what you have done..I do hope god finds you and gives you the strength to confess..the devil is helping you lie Hun ,,,only god can give you the strength to confess..I pray for that to happen all the time ..I know what you have done ,and I know the lies,,and I know if you confessed you would see it was the lies you where running from and not me ,,and I know you would feel the love you know you have for me ,,and I know that scares you .it scared me ..
I would not care ,,and I could still find the love for you ,but it is blinded now for the actions that you have done to our kids ,,and you are running away like you did at 15,,but like then you are mistaken on why .I pray one day you see. I hope its not to late .
From Melinda Allen blessmeplz@gmail.com
toRob <melnrob5@yahoo.com>
dateFri, Jun 17, 2011 at 12:16 AM
subjectRe: Talked
HMMM! Really? Let's see if I were dealing drugs I would have an Atty so I can get this divorce past me! I would live in a better place FAR enough away from Griffith. The only one trying to cause trouble and prolong this divorce is YOU! Pray?! What God do you pray to?! You call yourself a Christian but all you do is spout lies.  
I'm abusive?! Funny that is really funny! That has to be one of the best one's you have came up with yet.  
Please do not email me with stupid nonsense. We have a home phone, if something pertaining Matt comes up please use it.
frommelnrob5@yahoo.com
toMelinda My Love <blessmeplz@gmail.com>
dateFri, Jun 17, 2011 at 9:27 AM
subjectRe: Truth is truth ,,But I expect that you are lieing about yoursister ,,lies are all you are capapbal of . You can not lie to matt!!!!!
Hi
I have found out you are playing games. Visitation is this week end Sunday. If u have a wedding then you go. This is mine and matts time. U can not interfere. If u have the wedding I am sure mom can hold on to the girls till u come back. This is fathers day and missing this visitation is not exceptibal. The girls already told Matt they would see him Sunday. If you miss this visitation. I will file contempt on Monday. This I promise. U have mad me really good in filing papers. In a way I really hope you miss it.
I am sure the judge will understand. But I bet the next time we all meet he sees who you really are
From Melinda Allen blessmeplz@gmail.com
tomelnrob5@yahoo.com
dateMon, Jun 20, 2011 at 10:39 AM
subjectRe: Truth is truth ,,But I expect that you are lieing about yoursister ,,lies are all you are capapbal of . You can not lie to matt!!!!!
Rob,
As for game playing you mention, I love to play card games, an occasional board game and heck you can even find me in a rousing game of Red Rover on a rare occasion.  
Perhaps you and your Mom need to read the Guidelines established, read line #5-  You are NOT to be there when I drop off or pick up the girls! I let it go this time. I won't do it next time. I will come with an police escort from now on since you and your Mom can not be trusted to follow the procedure we have had in place with no issues prior to the last few months and I don't understand why all of a sudden you both are having issue with this.  
Also please refrain from sending any future emails that are nasty or threatening in tone. This to me does not seem like a changed person nor someone that will work together for the kids in a positive manner.
Thank you!
Melinda
frommelnrob5@yahoo.com
toMelinda My Love <blessmeplz@gmail.com>
dateMon, Jun 20, 2011 at 10:43 AM
subjectRe: Truth is truth ,,But I expect that you are lieing aboutyoursister ,,lies are all you are capapbal of . You can not lie to matt!!!!!
Sorry. Did not read and am not. I have moved on from your abuse. The girls wanted to come over. If u stop it. Its your decision. If u want to talk about them coming over text me.
Thanks. Rob

fromMelinda Allen blessmeplz@gmail.com
toRob <melnrob5@yahoo.com>
dateMon, Jun 20, 2011 at 12:06 PM
subjectFinalizing divorce
I was told that you are ready to move on and put this behind us. If this is so, we still need to provide the Financials for the court. If we have settled on th issues of custody, of which Jess and your Mom stated that you said it is fine that they live with me. Then there is a matter of contacting the court to let them know we are ready to finalize.
Visitation stays the same for the time being. At your Mom's until we finalize or the court says otherwise. Drop off and pick up are not to be with you there during this time. As I stated in my previous email that you say you did not read.  If you plan on seeing the girls 2 times a month that is fine, when you would like to say that this past weekend marked the begininng of that fine. 

If you have any other questions or concerns email me. Your number is blocked on my phone and I will not text you. I have the home phone and 3 other emails you can reach me at if there is a problem. If there is an emergency I would expect that you would phone the house rather then send an email.  
Melinda
frommelnrob5@yahoo.com
toMelinda My Love blessmeplz@gmail.com
dateMon, Jun 20, 2011 at 12:21 PM
subjectRe: Finalizing divorce
Jess asked that of me as long as they come over. Unsupervised. In that way I was in agreance. Because I would be able to make shure my girls where ok in his presence. My day off at night is tues. So as long as you are willing to let them come over on tues and every outher week. Then yes. We are. And I feel that as long as I can make shure my girls r ok. Then I will allow them to live with him in your presence. If you go out of town. Even over night. They come to me. And if they want to go somewhere on my nite or weekend. It is up to me to arange or allow. As before. I said. I know things come up. So if I have them and we are just watching tv. And u guys are invited to a barbaque. And u want to see if the girls want to go. And they do. U should be able to come get them. And visa versa. Within reason of course. But then they should come over atleast one extra day.
This is not that hard. But that was the deal. And don't give me the judge said no. He only said they stay where they r. And don't give me its not the orders. Because u violated those the first two months.
As for old debt. I have the papers of discharge from the lawyer. To give to you.
You have the ball now mel. The kids are looking at u. The courts. And my whole family. Its up to you Oh. And I expect that jess alex and matt. Can meet and play if they want. And since matt will not come buy u. They can meet at the parks or here.
Well that's it. Prity simple
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
From Melinda Allen blessmeplz@gmail.com
tomelnrob5@yahoo.com
dateMon, Jun 20, 2011 at 12:40 PM
subjectRe: Finalizing divorce
The visitation stays as court ordered unless I am given permission to do otherwise.  It sounded like you were a changed person and wanted to move forward but you do not.  
The girls are fine in Terry's presence. And I'm sorry you being super Dad and never harming them in the past? Not pulling they're hair, calling them names, or slapping them because one of them isn't wearing a bra. Or telling them not to tell Mom things because you know whatever reason.  
Move on Robert. I thought you had someone new you wanted to start  a life with. Dragging out custody because you can' get your way? It is in the hands of the court not mine. If I had "control" of the divorce at 90 days we would have been done with this!  
As for my relationship with the kids any issues or harm is at your doing.  
Really put on your grown up hat and move on. This is between you and I, unless you were married to Terry at one time. If you want to seriously finalize then you and I can continue this othrwise no more emails.

frommelnrob5@yahoo.com
toMelinda My Love <blessmeplz@gmail.com>dateMon, Jun 20, 2011 at 12:53 PM
subjectRe: Finalizing divorce
Melinda. I am moving forward. And I will not come back to you or take you back. Do I still love u. Yes. And u cause me pain. But that has nothing to do with the kids. Although I will admit the pain is almost completely gone. Mostly I see you for who u really are. And I know you are not a good person. And not with god. I do pray for you and my family all the time.
Like I said. You did what u wanted last time. And the courts where ok with it. Its always a good thing when the control freak in the divorce realizes its only hurting the kids. I do hope u see that u r.
Everyone can read these. Its up to you. Like I said love u or not. I am moving on.
Yes. I am trying to control u. I am trying to get you to see the damage u r doing to the kids. What this is all about is still you isent mel. If you can't see Matt then to hell with all of them. The damage their is your doing. Not mine. Well and terry s advice on how to handle things I am sure.
Time is good to me. All your lies and controlling and pain you caused will be out in the open. So although I miss my girls. And want to see them come over. Go ahead play your games. But the deal jess helped you come up with is no good.
I have to go. You have taken me from my studies long enough.
Frommelnr5@...com
toMelinda My Love <blessmeplz@gmail.com>
dateMon, Jun 20, 2011 at 1:09 PM
subjectRe: Finalizing divorce
As for abuse. How about when you used to smack the girls around and Matt as well. How about when you used to take away their food. Or break their favorite toy. Or tell them not to trust daddy. Or ever tell them the truth. Or throw Matt into the dryer. I always ed wonder where that dent came from.
Or when you hurt yourself helping me load my truck and then told Susan I hit you. Or the 2 years you came to me every other day switching back and forth between. Let me go and I love u I want us to work. You are mentally ill. And your bra marks are from when we where all playing and where having the big water gun. Hose fight. But its easy for you to use things for other purposes. You need attention. U thrive on it. We don't have time to talk about how you destroyed your son. But know worries their is plenty of documentation. And let's not forget you using the kids to get into the house and steel everything you could. I am still missing thousands in Terry. Well their is more. But you are not worth it. Oh yea. Let's not forget the years of you kicking me in the back while I slept. You know its funny. But since you left. I only needed my hip worked on once. And I never wake up with my back out ,when the nite before I was fine. But I kept trying.
Your a joke.
I think you are mentally messed up and you put yourself their. For the most part you took me along.
Don't tell me I haven't changed I refuse to be classified in your insanity any longer. And so u know the standard move to apply for a order of protection to keep the husband away so you could play. Is but one of the things that slowed this divorce.
I need to get to work. I allowed your abusive ways to take enough of my time.
Get help. Not your bs help. Real help. Ill talk to your physicians
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
frommelnr5@...com
toMelinda My Love <blessmeplz@gmail.com
dateMon, Jun 20, 2011 at 1:41 PM
subjectRe: Finalizing divorce
You know dad still has to take a shower once in a while. And I can still read his phone. Jessica madethe agreement with dad I know because I listened by the door. And I will be around to tell who needs to know tat you droppd us off in summer and said we will be fine. You destroyed me and my character melinda. Unless you call dad your husban you and I will never anything else together again. As far as I'm concerned I hope pearl becomes my new mom. I know the trut about dad sice I started living with him. And I'm very sure that you know that the girls will know the truth too and that Your afraid they'll want to come home.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
From Melinda Allen blessmeplz@gmail.com
dateMon, Jun 20, 2011 at 2:08 PM
subjectFwd: Finalizing divorce
Again I am not answering this email either. He has to have the last word.  
I know I was not abusive, I don't even need to defend myself against this crap.  
But I will say shame on anyone that allows him to continue his anger. Not to rock the boat or have a nice time so it doesn't make him angry. To the Hell with him. He has pushed people around for so many years with threats or bullying.
Judy, getting your basement done is great.  Allowing him to keep having tantrums when he can't get his way is not helping. I'm disgusted that the girls have to lie to another person in order to let him have his way. I am trying to teach them not to lie and here they are not telling or saying anything about him not being divorced from me. What does it matte he is out of my hair right?  It is my problem until the children are told to lie about it or if they are told not to tell Mom about this that or the other.
I'm trying to break any bad habits instilled by Rob through the years.  
It's not ok to lie
It's not ok to throw a fit when things don't go they're way
It's not ok to threaten or bully people
I never did any of those things he is stating. I loved my kids with all my heart and you all know that! He is a sick and twisted man.
He made it clear by telling me for years he was going to kill them while they slept if I ever left him.
I don't have to make up anything about my marriage, enough people witnessed it. And enough people dealt with him and know that he is unbalanced. He is not a changed man, and he has delusions of why I left him. He has created some fantasy that we had the perfect marriage. Now he claims I was abusive. If that were the case why did he beg me back each time I left him and every time I told him I was unhappy in 2008?
I told him I was done with our marriage every month, sometimes as much as 2 or 3 times a month in 2008. I had to slept with one eye open at night. He had nightmares where he would thrash, kick or choke me and claim he didn't remember it. Yeah right!
He held a knife to my throat on many occasions and said he would kill me and the kids if I left. If I even told anyone what was going on he would kill us. No he hasn't hurt us. YET!  
He got caught before his plan was over. He is all about revenge. That's how he is and that is how he will always be.  
He would call the kids names. (Stupid, dumbass, filthy pigs, fat)
He would tell them if they didn't do this or that he would kill me.
He would tell the kids if I ever left him that it was they're fault.
He would pull they're hair.
He would chase them around telling them he would kill them or beat the shit out of them.
He threatened them if they called me at the shop or wherever because he wanted them to call him.
I had been raped by him on repeated ocassions. He would sometimes use things around the house because he thought it was fun. It didn't matter if I was in pain.  
I was spanked, yes spanked both with the kids present and without them present. There were several times he told the kids to spank me and they cried while they did it but they did want him to get mad at them. I was humilated and ashamed. I was horrified that this was my life.  
I was tied up a few times and left in the bedroom to be used when he wanted me.
He threw me out of the house more then I can count. I fought tooth and nail to get back in.  
He made me lay naked on the floor without pillows or blankets because I would say no to sex. He would allow the dog to be in bed but not me, until I would take care of my duties and stop being stupid.
I have been kicked, pushed,choked, shoved down stairs and spit on by that man.
He pushed me out a car countless times for stupid crap.
He threaten to hire a group of men to kidnap me and gang rape me if I left him.
I have been called names and put down's so many times.
Holidays?! Remember those? There was always some sort of commotion to get the holidays together which usually ended in some sort of physical or threat of physical violence after everyone was gone.
He threatened to kill my parents, my sisters growing up if I broke up with him.
He has stalked me, paid someone to stalk and kill me!  
He continually accused me of sleeping around with others. Which I never did, could have but I didn't.
He called me all the time on the Walkie Talkie, like every 15 mins. Where you at? Who you with and what are you doing?  
He has threatened to kill whoever I date or marry by cutting there penis off and shoving it in my vagina after my throat is slit and my belly cut open.  
He dropped me off in parking lots for stores so I could troll of women for him. I never actually spoke to any of the ladies he pointed out, I bs'd my way through that one.
He threatened if I ever did leave him and the kids got to sleep over his house that he would kill them while they were sleeping. Make it look a C02 accident. So now I worry about any overnights that will come up someday.
He punched me and kicked me in the stomach many times with each pregnancy, and he hoped the kids would die in my stomach or we would die together during birth. Each pregnancy he questioned if he was the Dad. He never believed me.
Oh and there is so many more I could talk about...
The final straw came because Jess called me panicked that Rob was chasing Matt around the yard saying he was going to beat the shit out of him. And he got ahold of Matt and she was crying that Rob was choking him. I came to the house in a hurry finding both quiet. Rob admitted he flew off the handle a bit. I made up my mind at that point in the fall of 2008 that we were out of there. I didn't want to find the kids dead, and I was done.  
Forgive me if I don't have any compassion or seem like I don't want to work with him. I will not go against the court's order for unsupervised visits. He has not changed. Stating if he hasn't done anything to you by now Mel he won't, is wrong. Again he loves to get even with people whatever way he can. I have seen him chase people down because they owed him money. I have heard him start rumors about someone because they crossed him. He got someone fired because Rob thought he was trying to take his job. He made something up. He used to make up things about his day so they would sound more interesting for me.  
Judy saying you don't care about if he is there while I am dropping the kids off for visits and picking them up means you don't care about my safety. Heaven forbid I make waves and tick him off! Oh no we can't do that! At what cost is this? I can't see my son! And not because I don't want to, but because he has programmed him that I cannot trust that he won't harm me or my family somehow. He had the balls to start a fire and told me he was going to kill me while I slept. He had the balls to attack Terry at court. And the incident with Jess. I miss Matt! I miss the boy I remember. The man he is now is a stranger to me and someday I hope he realizes that I loved him with all my heart. I understand him wanting Rob's love. He craved it for so many years. And I also know how Rob can make you believe you are purple with enough time. I will come to visitation with police escort from now on. I will not trust that man nor do I feel safe any longer with the visitation.  
What about the safety of your grandchildren? We have supervised visits because of the slap with one of the girls because of the bra situation. Also because he pushed Jess during one of he visits. I was not there to witness any of these things but somehow I am being told I have held up this divorce. Someone please explain that one to me.  
He is a great manipulator. He will say or do whatever he has to in order to get his way! Jess was excited that we were going to finalize the divorce. But seeing as he can't get his way again then the agreement is off. I am fine with finalizing; I am not fine with going against the courts supervised visits until I am told otherwise. Rob is a piece of work and by protecting him or glossing over his issues is never going to help.  
Mel
From: <melnr5@...com>
Date: Tue, Jun 21, 2011 at 9:26 AM
Subject: Re: Visitation
To: Melinda My Love <blessmeplz@gmail.com>
Melinda. Make no mistake. You and I fought before the first time u left. I. Admit to that. And you came back. But where I came back to really try and save are marriage. You came back to punish me. Hurt me and abuse the Family. I did not hurt u after that. Even though u begged me to. And make no mistake I ended up in the hospital from your abuse. And yes millions. I don't remember stuttering. And the papers you have show how fare you mentally abused me. Make no mistake I know now that I am the victim. And I am telling anyone who will listen. And I have joined a group for abused husbands. And I am a spokes person.
But all of this do sent matter because it has nothing to do with the kids.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
From: <melnr5@...
Date: Tue, Jun 21, 2011 at 9:32 AM
Subject: Re: Visitation
To: Melinda My Love <blessmeplz@gmail.com>
I wonder what you tell the girls about me. And so you know I have had the same gentlemen. Come buy and tell me about you transporting drugs. Last time he said u where selling them. So I don't know how much to believe. But for sure this needs to be looked at
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

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