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Brook, IN, United States
Abuse doesn't stop at the court room. Melinda has shared her battles in her life and through the court room as she navigates through the legal system Bringing encouragement, insight and empowerment to those that are in a abusive relationship. She is in the process of creating a new life, speaking engagements to "Break the Silence" of abuse, while putting a face to abuse. She is currently working on writing a book about her experiences as a Survivor.View short Bio here- https://www.patheos.com/blogs/ahappymedium/2013/02/notbrokenbutbrave/

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Text messages and countdown to Independence day year 3!

I'm sitting here typing out passed text messages to email to my attorney for my ever growing file. Terry suggested I stop if I feel melancholy... Oh that feeling was after re-reading the first text message. I have went through about 20 so far and have 112 left to type. I feel a little disturbed, so I am taking a much needed break! The baby just went down for a nap, Terry and his brother went to his Mom's house. So, it's nice and quiet.

So, to bring you up to speed, R found out we moved from the court, not surprising. What is surprising is how long it took for him to be notified about the PO Box. I was so sure he would have found out before Christmas as a matter of fact our household and his Mom were waiting for that bomb to fall.

I received a voice message from him about that. He said,  Hey Melinda this is your husband. How is the house in Demotte? The court order says I get to talk to the girls. You disconnected the other number and I gave you time. The court order says I can talk to my girls and I want to hear from them tonight not from Terry from you or the girls.

Can you spell Creepy? He doesn't give a crap about the girls, he is upset that we moved and he doesn't know where we are. He can't stalk us/me out here and it's bugging him. Case and point, a day later Children's Treehouse calls and says R scheduled an appointment to see the girls on Sat (1/14) for an hour visit. I of course obliged, though hesitantly.I know he only wants to try to pump information about our whereabouts from them. He couldn't give a darned otherwise.

I did call my attorney and let him know about the call as well as the meeting. I know the court didn't order any type of arrangement for him to talk to the girls, besides it being a "SUPERVISED" visit. DUH! I don't know how stupid he thinks I really am! I'm so annoyed but yet worried at the same time. Not sure whether to throw-up or be angry. Of course these are just my personal opinions. He is going to lie and say he genuinely wants to visit with them because he misses them. BULL HOCKEY!

During my chat with the attorney he informed me that R wants to decrease his child support due to him being seasonal and unable to afford what he is paying for now. Funny, the original order for support was cut so low due to our debt at the time, which since we filed for bankruptcy is GONE! He lost the house so no house bill. WHAT THE HECK!? He works for CASH, he went from making $52,000 on paper in 2010 to making $22,000 in 2011?! He has made over $70,000 in years passed due to getting cash under the table. But I didn't take any paperwork to prove my accusations. I have heard from people he works with that the company is working a bunch of hours despite R claims of the contrary. SIGH!

The night before and the day of the meeting was nerve wrecking for all of us. The trip to the Treehouse had us all pretty quiet and that is totally unusual for us 4. I guess we were all lost in our own thoughts and worries. I didn't want the girls to give away where exactly they went to school or details about our place. He would find us in a snap if he knew details about our place or he would narrow our home down in no time. Of course I didn't want to coach the girls at all. Despite it all I still tell them to respect they're Dad. I don't believe he is worth the salt in my tears but he is still their father and they should at least respect the title, though I don't feel he is worthy.

I liked the fact that the girls were given a choice about seeing him before the meeting. I hoped they would say no, so I looked the other way, as if they could hear my thoughts out loud or see NO written all over my face. They briefly talked about it and decided to just see how it went this time. They were also informed that they could end the visit anytime they wanted to. I said see you later and have fun. I prayed all went well. Reassured they had a guard to watch them and the visit was recorded.

The girls said they had a fine time. They played Uno for the hour and made small talk. The only question he asked is how was school. I am guessing since someone was recording and staying in the room with them he had little or no choice but to be a good lad. We made sure no one was following us and even now I am finding that I am paranoid again that he or someone he hired is following me again. For the time being he only knows of the PO Box. I am unsure if the court will order me to give our physical address.

His Mom was fretting about him finding out she knew of the move and about the PO Box before he did. We still talk on and off. Though I was told not to trust her and I can't say I do anymore. It makes me kind of sad since I practically grew up in her house.

She has said he recently had several Bipolar episodes leaving her tired, annoyed and nervous about anytime he calls or comes by. He has been working on remodeling the basement for his sister to stay with his parents since MAY! He can never just get a project done, he puts it off or makes excuses or walks off the job due to an attitude. I gave her my sympathy and chuckled that he was her problem now. She said, Gee, thanks Mel! And don't tell him we talked. He says things and I know I only tell you about them. So you must be telling him we talk.

OH YES! During coffee he and I chatted about BLAH! BLAH!BLAH! What the HECK?! I told her I don't talk to him if I can help it. And certainly not about anything to do with her or his family. I don't want anything more to do with that psycho then I have to.

I received several emails from him about his horoscope and mine, oh and that marriage retreat is coming up soon. GROAN! It is almost 3 years, Independence day is on the 25th of Feb! Time flies!
Can you believe that this craziness has been going on this long? I was reassured by my attorney that R won't give up. He has seen those that are aggressive and obsessed with they're partners and they don't just give up when the finalization papers are signed. Well, isn't that lovely? I know in the back of my mind this is true. But I am praying he will just fade into the darkness and leave me alone. Heck, he doesn't have to pay me a dime of child support if he would just go away. Never to see the girls again.

Wishful thinking...

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