Michael
Michael was unsure who to
talk to about the abuse. While looking up information on abuse he stumbled on
my blog. He shared a bit of his story with me. I receive messages from victims
around the world every now and then.
Michael stands out for one
reason. He is male. I had to wrap my head around his story. It is not often or
at all that a victim is a man. The stats on male victims of abuse are high. It
goes under reported due to many feeling that they would be ridiculed by others
even law enforcement if it is brought to light.
He met Stephanie during
college. It was love at first sight. Both were studying to become attorneys.
They were inseparable, shared a love of the same interests. Friends and
families on each side figured after the bar that they would be married. Michael
and Stephanie had the beginning of a fairy tale life.
Both
passed the test and became prominent attorneys specializing in different types
of law but supportive of one another. As soon as he could, Michael popped the
question of marriage. They married a year later. Everything was perfect!
Michael
states that he and Stephanie were perfect and happy. It was too good to be
true.
Two
months after the wedding Stephanie announced she was pregnant. Michael was
ecstatic. Stephanie was not so thrilled. They hadn’t discussed children prior
to getting married and Michael didn’t give it a thought until the day Stephanie
learned she was pregnant. She began to become distant. She pulled away from
family and made comments to Michael that they should have aborted the baby. He
became worried she may harm herself or the baby that he confronted her.
She
told him it was hormones talking and she was nervous. He let it go. Stephanie
continued to act oddly so much that friends and family mentioned it. This was
out of character for her.
At
a prenatal visit, Michael talked to the doctor privately about the situation.
The doctor just advised him that her hormones are high and he shouldn’t be
worried in a few brief months things would settle down.
The
months leading up to the big day were not without incident. At home, Stephanie
would verbally put Michael down. Soon afterwards, she would push him and would
throw things at him. She seemed always in a rage. He would rub her feet and her
back. He answered her every whim but nothing he could do was ever good enough
for her.
The
day her water broke Stephanie refused to let him take her to the hospital. She
demands to have someone else to take her instead. Michael. At this point, he is
beside himself. He feels as though he is losing his mind. He hasn’t told anyone
else about what was going on. He hoped that thing would calm down after the
birth.
The
birth went smoothly. Stephanie made it clear that she didn’t want Michael to
comfort her. Stephanie’s family attended and her mom remarked that perhaps she
was in discomfort not to worry.
They
had a baby boy! There were tears of joy all around. Stephanie gave Michael a
squeeze on his hand and pulled him down to kiss her. This gave him a positive
outlook for the future.
Once
at home Michael doted on his wife and son. He was a proud papa and was able to
have a family leave of absence for up six weeks. This was to be a time for all
of them to bond.
Sadly,
Stephanie diagnosed with Post-partum Depression. She became more distant; she
believed Michael loved the baby more then her. Stephanie refused to have
anything to do with the baby. She also started to push Michael around again.
Name calling soon followed.
He
recalls that it was getting so bad that he was thinking of leaving her and
taking the baby with him. Her erratic behavior was becoming so extreme that he
worked from home often and family had to intercede.
Michael
had called around to shelters in his area to see if he could be a guest until
he figured things out. He was turned away and was told to reach out to a local
YMCA to see if they could help. It was suggested that he should file a police
report if he felt they were in danger. The woman at the shelter advised that he
was experiencing abuse but she was sorry they could not help. They could serve
women only.
Since
she was diagnosed with Post-partum, he felt perhaps there was some sort of
medication she could turn to or counseling. In the past, Stephanie had blown
off suggestions to let the doctor know of her mental health.
Michael
made the decision to call the police for information but he was not taken
seriously by local law enforcement. He
felt as if he was grasping at straws and unsure what to do next is when he
reached out to me.
We
discussed options of counseling and Michael felt that it was a hopeless cause
to do so. His felt that his only option was for them to separate or divorce.
Another thought he had was to stay married and to try to keep himself and the
baby safe.
He
promised to keep in touch but like so many others, I never heard from him
again. I pray they are out of harms way living safely.
It
can be a bit frustrating to want to help or hear what is going on once a person
reaches out to me. Many times, we exchange a handful of message or calls and
then nothing. I keep these people in prayer and hope they are okay.
*I am not an Attorney or Counselor, please seek out a licensed individual for more information and help. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination, given with permission, or used in a fictitious manner. And any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental .*
Feel free to comment below and I urge you to share this story or any posts you have found helpful on my blog. If you need help please don't hesitate to message me privately, follow my pages on social media or if you are local let's connect and grab a cuppa coffee or tea or just to talk.
I can be reached at blessmeplz@gmail.com
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Have I told you lately that I love you and think your awesome? Well, I do!
BIG HUGS,
Mel
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