A little about me

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Short version of past visitation

I'm so torn between anger, sadness and fear.

I read the short narrative about the Childrens Treehouse events from the previous weekend, that it hit me like a cold splash of water.

As a Mother and Wife I tried to use whatever judgement to keep my family together. I'm not proud of many of my decisions I made. I put my children at risk both before we left and after we left. I feel as though I failed in some ways to protect the little ones' I was blessed to have. I know I can not beat my spirit up about this and through the years some of the intense feelings has simmered. Reading and hearing about the events that unfolded a few weeks ago reminds me of the reasons I left that man. It reminds me that there is still things I can show my kids (girls and someday my son).

Love, trust, faith and friendship.

In some ways I am bewildered by the lack of seriousness our legal land associates know. Imagine my chagrin to have to fill out Parenting time scheduling. I have to consider how to do the Therapeutic Counseling with a man that is stalking us, hired someone to kill me, and is unstable mentally. How does one shield themselves from a mad man? By the same token I am thankful we have not had to give our physical address out. I pray that continues! And I do appreciate all the help and understanding my atty has given. For that I am eternally grateful!

I'd like to think I'm doing all the right things.I have been following all the rules set before me by the court. I have played nice. I have not been a thorn in anyone's side.

How do I continue to keep my kids safe?
How do I save my son from his Dad and himself?
How do I make sure Terry and Mini man stay safe?
How do I break free from someone that wants to keep it alive?

I was given Parenting Time Guidelines to fill out for the next court date. HUH?! I can not trust this man to harm the kids. I can not trust him not to harm me in a visitation exchange process and now I have to work on Week, Weekend and Holiday scheduling?! Seriously? The man has hired someone to kill me, stalked me (still looking for me in old places I frequented) and is still obsessed with getting back together.

My son is possibly to be taken away to a mental (behavioral) facility and the one that really needs a Psych evaluation or to be admitted to a mental facility is STBX! That poor kid is going to dislike me more then he does now and it's not in my hands to make a choice one way or another! My sister has offered to take him but it sounds like the court won't allow for that. I do understand that he needs help but while he is with his dad he won't be able to progress but on the other hand I don't want him in a facility. I don't know how to fix this! 

Normally, when a relationship breaks up, there is crying, some begging and after a time you move on. To deal with someone that is Psychopathic, a NARC, Gaslighter or whatever you want me to call him, is beyond my realm of expertise. I only know that I'm free, happy and loved. I want to keep this feeling. Please keep all of us in your prayers.

*The following is a brief summary of the events that transpired during the girls supervised visit on March 24, 2012. This is not the full transcription of the events but it is detailed enough to get the effect of how intense the visit was.*
Visit ended early by Jessica as she and Dad argue. Jessica has a panic attack after leaving visit. Dad complains throughout visit about Mother and their family issues.
Dad "no one in this county is ready for Melinda". Jessica leaves in ambulance as she to experiencing a panic attack and hyper-ventilating.

Supplement Report
  • Jessica & Dad argue
  • Jessica "You told me for 2 years- that if the divorce happened it would be all my fault. you put me in that hospital".
  • Dad "That's a lie".
  • Jessica "No it's not. You sent us both. me & Matthew. He needed to be there".
  • Dad "No he didn't. I didn't want you there".
  • Jessica "You need to be there. You need a psych eval".
  • Dad "I don't know what your game is- what your mothers game is".
  • Jessica "My life would be great if you weren't in it".
  • Dad "You're repeating exactly what your mother says".
  • Jessica "No. She would tell me to be respectful".
  • Dad "You don't hurt me".
  • Jessica "So now you're a counselor & a psycho".
  • Dad "I did nothing to you".
  • Jessica "You choked me. That's bullshit".
  • Dad "I didn't choke you. I slapped you".
  • Jessica "Lie".
  • Dad "You went crazy and started attacking Matthew".
  • Jessica "All you did what sit on the couch & watch TV all day".
  • Jessica "You whipped Matthew with your belt so many times. Mom tried to protect him".
  • Dad "All I see is your mother. So it's ok for you to disrespect me".
  • Jessica "I'd rather be like her than you".
  • Dad "Mom is hurting you by keeping the negativity going".
  • Dad "I always tell Matthew to not talk badly about"
  • Jessica "Why do you or Matt keep texting Mom in the middle of the night?"
  • Jessica "You ruined the first 10 years of my life".
  • Dad "Your Mom keeps your away from me. You can argue all you want. It doesn't hurt me".
  • Jessica "I hate you with a deep passion. I want to stab you right now- but I won't because I will not stoop to your level. I wish you would leave me alone. I hate you! I don't want to see you!"
  • Dad "I'm fighting for custody of you".
  • Jessica "I hate you. I thought you changed- but you didn't Stop this visitation shit. I hate you. Get out of my life".
  • Alex "Guys your kinda talking loud".
  • Dad "You shush!"
  • Jessica "NO!" and slams her hands on the table
  • Jessica throws her cards at dads face.
  • CTH security enters visit
  • Dad laughs when Jessica leaves
  • Dad "Alex I didn't hurt you. You're my baby".
  • Alex cries- Alex asks to leave
  • Matt cries. *Mom called to pick up girls 11:23 am

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