Final hearing is in 6 days! Oh, my gosh, my mind is a flurry of emotions and a anxious heart.
I so crave for the memories to vanish for my kids and me. I wish for nothing more then warm wishes for my STBX. Yes, believe it or not! I have forgiven him long ago, though I still can not seem to shake the past, moving on to a brighter future is possible.
The world is my oyster (Did I post my Bucket List here? I will!)! Dwelling on the past, living in the past, re-living the past and feeling anxiety of him is not a healthy thing for anyone. Time heals and though I moaned and groaned when I heard those words, they are so true. Embracing the surreal past, loving myself and moving on is such a happy feeling for me right now.
I love where I am right now. Well, there is a money thing, but who doesn't have job or money issues?
Ok, I do have a few pesky pounds to lose... Oh, and I could use a tummy lift and laser hair removal...
But all that is just cosmetic and material! If the divorce does finalize, there is a BBQ being arranged and well, a wedding for Terry and I! You heard it right! I'm excited! Close family and friends will gather in our humble abode while we exchange vows at home. Nothing fancy, no frills and no thousands of dollars.
So dear Reader, this isn't all about me! Please listen to some words of wisdom handed down (My Sisters, Mandy and Ashley, Kristy Robinett (www.tangledwishes.com), and learned by me (hard knocks).
Focus on the positive my Friend!
Believe in your heart that the craziness will pass.
Stop apologizing for your abuser to others
Stop making excuses to yourself for your abuser
Try to not to let him/her get to you and to keep your chin up.
Say Positive Affirmations
Create a Vision (Wish) Board
Make a time line of where you want to be in a month, 3 months, 6 months, a year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years and 20 years. What do you want to do in those months?
What gave/gives you joy? An activity? Vacation? A Mani/Pedi? Writing? Did you stop doing what makes you happy when Mr/Ms. Wonderful came into the picture? (Sarcasm)
Think of how to make your dreams into reality! Why not? Dream big! Focus on positive things in your life. If you have kids/pets spend quality time with them!
Did you pick up a habit of drugs/alcohol/food? Get clean! Getting lost in a bottle of pills/alcohol or over eating/ or not eating is not an option. Take control of your life! If you have to cry or whine about your life fine, but don't let the chance for a good life pass you by!
Moving on with your life is not only the best medicine but it can show your NARC/Gaslighte/Abuser that you are not going to whither away without him/her. You can and will move on with your life. Stop allowing your life to be "All about that person".
Don't let that person ruin life for you by words, actions or bad behavior.
Don't put off a Order of Protection! What are you waiting for? Someone to get hurt or killed? Not telling anyone or the authorities only shows your abuser that you will continue to let him/her to do bad behavior.
As a child needs to be accountable for they're actions so does this so called "Grown up". They need to put on they're "Big Boy/Girl" panties and move on with life. You are NOT responsible for this person's actions or behavior!
And, as for you, Dear Friend deserve to live in peace, joy and happiness!
**If you are in an abusive situation please get out! There are agencies designed to help you! Check out the blogs about Safety and Safety plans to start with. Tell someone! DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE your abuser! Remember love doesn't hurt!**
Stay safe! And God bless!