A little about me

Monday, September 19, 2011

Writing to judge

I have been debating about this one. I guess I am unsure how to proceed. I am not an attorney. STBX's attorney seemed to get more table time when we had our last hearing. I don't feel as though they take the situation seriously! I can not get feedback or calls from the Griffith Police department regarding the Murder for Hire case, not even to say it's been closed. He has scared the Court appointed counselor, so much that she will not come to court for us. I guess many legal and court appointed officials would rather live with the guilt of not helping if we are killed.

I wrote down some key points to hit during the next hearing and pray for strength! I read back what I wrote during my blogging or from memories and I can not help but feel a sense of relief, sadness and frustration at the lack of support that our dear legal land gives to those in this situation.

I almost feel sick to my stomach again and I'm nervous. I admit anytime the weather is bad I get nervous. Why?
STBX is a construction worker and he does not usually work if the weather is bad or nasty. I continually look over my shoulder even when it's sunny but when it's bad I look more.
I live paranoid and fearful.
I heard from his Mom the other day, she wanted to know about what happened at the court hearing, he won't call her back. She went on the tell me about how he is still not really working on her basement. (Funny, she told me she was done with him back in August!) She complained about how he stopped by here or there and only did a few things, then he left after maybe an hour. She went on to add that she was sorry she missed A's birthday the weekend before and could she talk to her. My thought was she just wanted to find out what she needed and talking about missing A's birthday was a ploy to get information.
Not my problem anymore! Isn't that wonderful! And I don't care! He is not my worry! I don't have to worry about stepping on eggshells!

The kids and I went to Turkey Run last weekend.We had a blast! I hadn't been there since I was the girls ages. J commented that "Dad wouldn't have let us do this or that. And he would have complained about how you are diving Mom." Ah! The infamous complaining about my driving!

I wrote about that in a previous post. I am so loving driving around now! It is so freeing to just get up and go! Terry is a lot like me with that regard. No plans, no agenda, no time constraints just go. No yelling at me about my driving too fast, too slow, not braking soon enough, braking too soon, not making it through before the light changes to red and yelling at me or hitting me when I miss the green.

I don't miss having my head bounced off the window or getting pushed out of the car while he is driving. I don't miss hearing about what a terrible driver I am. Sorry went off on a tangent! It really is a relief and such a great feeling of independence right now! If I didn't have to worry about STBX acting on his threats~ which I totally believe he is capable of! He never forgets! Even years later he has gotten even with people that he feels have wronged him.
Day to day and one step at a time. Keep us in your prayers!

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