Part 1 Tips to cope with being alone after a toxic relationship

It has been ages since I've posted! I'm sorry! I haven't forgotten about you! I have jumped into vlogging and haven't come by here in a while. I have a bunch of things that I will be sharing over the next few weeks or so to catch up! You can find the video here- facebook.com/hopewhentherewasnone.

A tough topic for many victims and Survivors is loneliness. 

First off, it is very brave of you to stay alone right now! I'm proud of you! This is a time of being on an emotional roller coaster filled with drama. You may feel like tapping out or giving up. Please don't! Consider talking to a counselor or therapist. This can be a dark time and talking with a professional or trusted 3^rd party can help.

One of the most common experience among victims and Survivors of a toxic relationship is feeling lonely. Personally, I can totally understand! This is a critical time when many jump back into the relationship or start a new relationship before addressing the junk from the past.

It isn't uncommon for this new super loving person to end up being abusive as well leaving you feeling like you are a failure in love or all you attract are losers, no one will ever want me or you may wonder what's wrong with, “ME?!”

If you miss your abuser you are not a weirdo. Even if this person caused you physical pain you loved this person. There were some good times and comfort. You may have been with this person for months, years, or decades, and know that it's okay to grieve. There is no shame in longing for this person back. You knew what to expect, it's familiar and in some ways not as scary as starting over.

After you leave you may notice different physical symptoms- Anxiety, depression, mood swings, nightmares, bedwetting, panic attacks, insomnia, and more. These are probably not “new” symptoms you may have not given these things much thought before. You may not have had a chance to really “feel” your own emotions. You may have had to hide these or brushed them off. Now they seem like flashing lights going haywire. Signs PTSD after a toxic relationship happens often!

Remember, we are no longer living in the past. The past now part of our memories and you are safe. That trauma is no longer happening to you. You are free even if you don't feel like you are.

Right now is the time for growth!

Being alone gives you space and time to rediscover or get to know yourself. Learning to reprogram your mindset, past hurts, figuring out likes, dislikes, dreams, and goals.

I know you may not feel like doing this and honestly, I have no clue about what you experienced. I can tell you that giving yourself the gift of time to begin a new journey will be healing for you.

Start creating boundaries, journaling, create a ritual for you such as rising early to read your Bible, pray, exercise, or creating a positive routine. Do something that gives you a positive feeling. This can be for 5 minutes, a half-hour, or longer! Don't hesitate to find time throughout the day to do something to recharge your spirit. 

What is something that you have done to help you on your healing journey? I'll be back tomorrow with more suggestions. Stay safe!

BIG HUGS!

Mel