Sick

July 2007

Remember I mentioned earlier that I was tired all the time and not feeling well? About two months later after many interesting events that would forever change our lives, in July I had gotten very sick. 

After about a week I went in to the doctor. While I was at the office, I was informed my temperature was over 102 and my blood pressure was terribly low. The doctor took a peek in my throat as it was killing me, he winced, while looking and he informed me that it was pus filled and bloody!

He announced that in my present condition that he could not authorize me to leave by myself. If forced to he would have me picked up by ambulance.

At this time, I am panicky because I was unsure how Will was going to handle the news. Surprisingly he decided to pick up me up and he would take me to the hospital as soon as possible. The doctor had made arrangements for me have a room as soon as I could. I wanted to make sure the kids saw me before I went to the hospital. 

The week long hospital stay was miserable for me, my throat hurt to talk, to yawn, eat and drink. Will called me all the time and he was furious that I wasn't talking to him. He was also upset that I was on vacation from my duties.

A nasty infection had spread through me like wild fire! In some ways it did fell like a vacation, but I was worried about the kids. Leaving the kids alone with Will was not something I was thrilled about.

Two days later I had gotten several bits of news regarding my condition. The first is that I was going to have my tonsils out after a few months of healing and the second bit of news came as a big blow.

I was informed I had HSV2.

Herpes Simplex Virus 2.

I was floored! I cried but at same time I was not surprised. I worried about STD’s after swinging and the second wife incident and had gotten tested for STD’s over the last few years prior. Only two things I could think of is that my ex was seeing someone else or the second wife crazy episode left me with cooties.

When I broke the news to Will, he was less than happy. He was mad! At me!

He threw plenty of accusations of me having an affair and he continued to berate me. He said, if it was something he picked up then why wasn't he sick? I felt that it was my fault. My journey to find someone seemed to have back fired.

I wasn't seeing anyone or fooling around with anyone. I was able to get my tonsils out after I recovered from the infection. But my spirit felt bruised.

About two months later my abuser had symptoms of HSV2.

Despite my protests and denial of affairs. It all fell on deaf ears. Since the diagnosis I was called a slut, whore and interrogated repeatedly. For some reason I was to blame.

I had a new added complex problem to an already volatile situation.  

To make matters worse the girlfriend from the crazy episode had come back into the picture. Will had called her to tell her off about the STD and to let her know I was in the hospital.

After several more insane situations between her and Will. I was able to come to terms that there is no way he was going to change. There was no way I was going to stay in this marriage.

Rock bottom believe it or not was now.

*I would later discover Lyme Disease opened a doorway for my cooties. Unbeknownst to me my resistance had been lowered allowing me to feel sick. The stress also contributed to my illness.