Got bruises?

I'm not making light of any type of abuse by that title. I'm in awe at how many various ways people, whether they are of DV or Child Abuse or any type of violence, can hurt another.

I'm in awe that I have well over 16,000 people that have viewed this blog since 2009. No it's not the millions other blogs or websites have. In a strange way I'm tickled but yet horrified and sadden that so many have viewed it due to the content.

A few brave people have sent in comments. Many have been erased before they ever hit my blog post, but I have the email.

I don't have many followers and that's ok. If my story or other survivor stories can help someone get help or realize they aren't alone then I think that's wonderful! I didn't do this for glory and in some small way in the beginning I wanted to "out" my ex. I wanted everyone to know that he did these things to us. I wanted everyone to know so the next woman he dates has some clue what she is walking into.

After time went by and healed my bruises inward and outwardly, I allowed my emotions raise to the surface to find out how I can best deal with the vicious and yet constant reminder of where I was. I mentioned it many times about how surreal life is now.

I'm not afraid to pick up the phone, that someone may yell at me for whatever the reason.
I'm not afraid to come home or run late.
I'm not afraid of totally giving myself to love and intimacy.
I'm not afraid to share my feelings.

I have many bumps in the road. I have times where I just crumble either in private or in a public setting. I'm learning to be me. Learning to find my self. Though I still say somethings that I shouldn't. I do things I shouldn't. I leap before I think first. I feel like a toddler at times. Fumbling to love the life I'm in.

Thank you Lydia for letting me ramble on from time to time. I'm so proud of this woman! She left her abuser recently and has stayed gone. She is recognizing patterns of abuse and how to cope with the after with herself and kids. She has shared wisdom with me that sometimes feels like a soft lump to my hard headed noggin. And for this I thank her!

She is just one of the amazing women I have met that have left a relationship or been a victim or stalking (Thank you Dana for your kindness and strength!) or bullies. And I am proud to know these women! Thank you Dear Blog reader! I pray that you have left your abuser. I pray if you haven't you find the encouragement and faith to do so. Know that you are worthy of so much more!

BIG HUGS!

Mel