Financial abuse- Abuser asserts control over your finances

 

Financial abuse is one of the abuses I didn't realize was so harmful! I had no idea that was a "thing" when I was with my abuser. The control he had over our finances and shifting the blame to me when money was low was eye-opening! 

Honestly, I hated when we balanced the checkbook! It could possibly take hours to do because I was off by as little as a penny. Or perhaps I didn't have the right answer to a receipt purchase. (It was usually followed by intense scrutiny and accusations that I was cheating.) Here are forms of financial abuse and below is the video for this post. You can find more videos on my FB page (Click here) Hope when there was none

Ruin Credit- not paying bills or opening accts without approval fraudulently

Overdrawing bank accounts

Files for bankruptcy without your knowledge

Giving an allowance and every cent is tracked

You have to turn over any money you have

Bumming money off you- slowly gives you a sob story

Refuse to work or stop working

Refuse/Inconsistent to pay support/alimony or lies about income so they pay lower support

Deny they are the biological parent

Don't supply health insurance if ordered or promised to do so

Stop paying housing so you are evicted

Stop paying on utilities so they are turned off

Steal your welfare checks/card

Someone is taking interest in your finances- say they have an investment opportunity

Steal money from you or family

Never seem to have money of their own

They misuse funds- frivolously, you are always behind in bills

They destroy property you own or that you own together

Taking a life insurance policy for you

Force you to have access to your finances, Will, business, or Power of Attorney

You are not allowed to have a loan, bank account, car, house or job or make it impossible to access

Demand their name is on your account

Keep a paper trail of these things- have a private ledger

Try to get you fired from your job, may harass you at your job, make you late or miss work

If you are going back to school they may also harass you, make you late, miss school

Smear campaign at your workplace or school

Limit your hours that you work

Not help with childcare

Demand access to your accounts/passwords

Doesn't consult you in private or business decisions

Forces you to go into a career or start a business you are not interested in

Forces you to make fraudulent medical/tax claims or documents for business/personal

Reports “You” for fraud

Refuses to finalize your divorce

May take out a protective order or tie you up in court fraudulently in retaliation

Refuse to give you funds for necessities- food, money, medication, bills, transportation

What can you do? Leave, file a police report, keep a paper trail, contact an attorney to find out if you are liable for fraud. Contact credit reporting companies about possible fraud, ask for an alert to be put on for large purchases. They will decline any big-ticket items and you will need to call and verify that you are purchasing.

Change your password/pins- To something affirming- I am loved, I am a survivor, No more

Squirrel money away!

Open a bank account

Make copies of important papers, loans, bills, check stubs, documentation of payments under the table

Contact your employer about what is going on- Your focus may be off and it may be noticed

This is a lot to process! But, learning how you can begin to protect yourself is so empowering! You are not alone! If you need to talk with someone or resources I am happy to help. I'm not an attorney or counselor but I am someone that understands. I've been where you are! 

Stay safe!

BIG HUGS!

Mel

Here is a link to the Financial Abuse video