A little about me

My photo
Brook, IN, United States
Abuse doesn't stop at the court room. Melinda has shared her battles in her life and through the court room as she navigates through the legal system Bringing encouragement, insight and empowerment to those that are in a abusive relationship. She is in the process of creating a new life, speaking engagements to "Break the Silence" of abuse, while putting a face to abuse. She is currently working on writing a book about her experiences as a Survivor.View short Bio here- https://www.patheos.com/blogs/ahappymedium/2013/02/notbrokenbutbrave/

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Happy New Year

Dear Blog reader,

I hope this upcoming year find your free from the bondage holding you. Whether you are being held hostage against your will. Or perhaps you are afraid to leave or scared for your life. Just maybe you need to be free from the nightmares in your mind.

How do you break free of any of these? 

It takes work! Mentally, physically and emotionally. 

It means baring your soul and digging deep to the memories. 

It means opening up to yourself and others about your feelings or what you have been going through.

It means finally deciding that you are not going back to your abuser.

It means you are going to take steps to towards moving on with a new beginning. Wherever that may take you.

It means PUNCHING fear in the face and SHOUTING your not going to live in fear any longer!

You are STRONG

You are LOVABLE

You are WORTHY OF TRUE LOVE

YOU are NOT to blame

You are BEAUTIFUL

Go ahead, cry, shout, scream, punch pillows or kick something (Not your ex, children or animals please! Just throwing that out there. Even though revenge or harming your ex may sound good. He/She is not worth it!)

Can't do any of this without upsetting your Child/Furbaby or neighbors? tTake a shower or bath. Use candles if you can, light mellow music, Epsom salts and soak. 

Think about your situation. Cry/shout (If you can). When you are ready to pull the drain, if you are taking a bath, let those emotions, fears, worries and anger whirl down the drain. Let them all go! Visualize bright white light (Protection), or pink light (Loving) coming down from Heaven going through the Crown of your head and filling your body.

OR

Get barefoot! Earthing (Grounding) is another great way to unwind, destress and even give you most wonderful health benefits. I know in many areas of the country (US) and overseas it maybe cold. But try it as long as you can handle it. OR hug a tree! I tell you these have done wonders for my headaches and Lyme's issues! 

OR 

Smudge yourself and home. Now is a great time to do so! Even if you are a Christian you can do these things. I have a few prayers if you are interested email me privately- please put heading as Smudging.

OR 

Carry a Crystal with you for protection: Clear Quartz, Pink Quartz are great ones for Protection and Love (not that you are looking for love but love for yourself and for others to love you). Have PTSD or Panic Attacks? Apache's Tears is a great crystal.

If you wish to learn more tips or suggestions please don't hesitate to contact me privately:
at melindakunst812@gmail.com

I have had a few emails pop on thru that have been very sad. It breaks my heart to read stories from those trapped in abusive relationships. I give the best advice I can, but a few are in such a dark place and feeling hopeless I feel I failed in someway to bring them to the light. 

Being with any abuser or abusive situation is HARD! Choices whether to stay and be miserable or leave and live in fear of retaliation. "What if's" can do more damage to your health and spirit then leaving. 

It's tough to say good-bye. Whether you leave a letter for your abuser to find or to just be gone (I did that) or maybe you have moxie to just tell your abuser "Enough" and leave with he/she still in the home. 

You may have to leave kids or your furbabies! You may have a situation where you and your partner do not have kids together but perhaps you have watched that child/furbaby grow up! Now, that person is holding that over you by not allowing anymore visits. To be honest that in itself is hard. Legally there is no leg to stand on if you are not physically Mom/Dad. 

I can relate quite a bit. It has been 7 years since I have seen my oldest Son. I have little bits of news here and there about him but that is it. I miss the heck out of him, even though he planned to kill me. (See earlier blog posts in July 2009) I do admit of still wanting to kick my ex in the shins for what he did to our kids.

I have struggled and asked the Lord to give me a hand with this. Now this doesn't mean it is easy. I know I have to lay it at His feet. I can't keep taking it back. I know in my heart someday we will get through all of this.

I ask you Dear Blog reader to please hand tight! Stay alive! Keep yourself safe! Don't give your abuser power by taking your life. Please talk to a licensed Counselor or clergy member. In the US you can contact the National Suicide Hotline-  1 (800) 273-8255. 

Overseas? Check this website for help- http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

Just wish to talk to someone about whether you are in an abusive situation? 
US- 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Overseas- http://www.vachss.com/help_text/domestic_violence_intl.html
Click to Chat With an Online Representative

I can't tell you the right answer for your situation. I can only tell you that it WILL get better! You do have to stay safe! Be smart and situationally aware at all times. Need more tips see my safety plans or safety tip blog posts. You are more than welcome to email me as well. I'm happy to lend an ear!

It's the New Year! Have you made your Vision board yet? Set goals? Where do you see yourself in 6 months, 1 year or 5 years from now? Do you want to be where you are right now? What steps can you take to get to safety? Who can help you? 

 Wherever you are please know you are loved! Please get help!

It can be hard for me to share personal information after blogging about critical things. I share from time to time as a reminder that someday, YOU will be in a good place. It takes time. I am terribly impatient! If you have followed me since the beginning you very well know I have stomped, cried and kicked my feet as though I was a child. I kid you not. I cursed and shouted at God. Raised my fist in the air! 

I have been there. I have gone through boxes and boxes of tissue. Crying until I have no more tears, my nose red, face swollen (I am not a pretty sight when crying!) and I end up with a terrible headache. I had gotten to the point where I was having panic attacks almost everyday. A song, memory, smell or just hearing my ex's name would send me overboard. 

I'm better! I'm on the mend. I'm healing! I am not who I was when I first started this journey. 

I have some peace. I also have a few secrets that I can not share yet but will in the upcoming months! 

Our bus project is coming along really well and we are super excited to hit the road with some journey in the summer. I promised my 2 youngest we would go see an ocean for sure. 

Stay safe!
BIG HUGS!
Mel




No comments:

Post a Comment