A little about me

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Broken hearts and dreams




It’s hard to imagine starting a new life once you have left your abuser. Your heart is shattered.
Your dreams of a long relationship lay scattered on the ground and you feel that your whole life is just a shambles! Mr/Ms Wonderful made promises of change. Or promises of a long life together.
What do you do now?
I’ve blogged about this in the past. Picking yourself up once you have left is a tough thing to do!
Honey! You’re preaching to the choir!
Look around you, over-looking the wet and dried tissues that are are all over the place. Wipe those eyes. Throw some water on your face and make a list.




Where do you want to go?
What do you want to do with your life?
How can you move on?
What will I do for money or a job?
What are your dreams?

Finding yourself again after a break-up is a tricky thing and toss in the fact that you left an abusive situation the mix may still seem like a scene taken from The Springer show. A “normal” separation is one that you divide up the kids, stuff and move on. With an abusive relationship the other partner may NOT want to let go.
He/she may continue to stalk you. He/she may continue to harass you by texting/emails. He/she may still try to hurt you by intimidation or further abuse (Verbal/Physical). It can be very hard to think of moving on with the continued drama.

You ask, “Seriously?! Woman what are you smoking!?”
You can do it! You can live a “NORMAL” life again.
You may have to break some habits created by the relationship(s) you were just in. Starting over is just that! Beginning again! Clean slate! 

Re-invent who and what you want to be! Take those questions from above and start planning your new life! What do you want out of life? Are you living your life or just going through the motions? What can you do now to make what you want with your life?

After you have answered those questions above, call it homework, then start purging everything!
Whether it be the relationships with others that maybe toxic in your life (Your Ex’s friends or family)
Clean up your home. 
Memories are attached to many things around you. 
Starting new (If you can afford it) can help. From the bed you and your partner slept in together to the digs you stay in.
What about the food you eat? Do eat things that are good for you? Is the food you’re eating something you really enjoy or something you just adapted?
Are there things you use to clean you only used because he/she wanted you to? Personally, after I left I realized how much I hated the smell of Febreze. And I wouldn’t use it again!
Or what about the TV shows you watch. It has been almost 4 years since I have watched “The Simpsons”. It is something I watched because of my ex. 

What about your clothes? Do they make you feel good? Are they you or what your ex liked to see you in?
What bad habits do you have? Party too much? Drinking? Drugs? Food? Sex?
What have you become addicted to doing because of your ex?
Your make up? Your Hair?

The list can go on and on! It is quite amazing when you reflect back at the things you have or do because it became routine with your ex.Take a serious look at your life then and now. Pick up the pieces of your life. Your worthy! You’re a Survivor! 

Take baby steps! You can do it!



Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Positive mantras!

DARE TO DREAM!

DREAM BIG!

I'm not a big resolution person but I do enjoy making goals for myself. I have a Bucket List (See labels) more of a life long list. This year I deciding to do a "Goal list". Small steps! Not biting off more then I can chew! Nothing more disappointing then creating a goal list or resolution and not completing it!

So! Whether you are in a Abusive situation of some sort or if you were able to leave (throw out) your abuser, make this the year for you to begin again!

DO SOMETHING!

BE AMAZING!

Do something new/old- Dust off your camera, craft supplies or whatever your passion lies.

Learn something- Whether you always wanted to learn Spanish or perhaps you may have to learn self defense.

Do things that make you happy!

Include your child(ren) or pet(s) in your endeavor!

PLAY! Don't lose sight of finding a time to unwind or just play!

Ditch FB or other social media or computer and live in the real world. I can honestly say I lose track of how much time I spend on here. (Pinterest is so dang addicting!) I miss out on family time by surfing. Even if it is for a half hour. Step away from the computer!

Remind yourself YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO!

Create the life you want.

Throw out the tissue, pick up the pieces to your life and live!

What did you do before Mr/Ms Wonderful (Sarcasm) entered your life?

I am not advising party life. I've heard too many stories about survivors ending up back in the cycle of abuse because of someone they picked up at a bar or party. (Not always but this is my opinion due to others I've heard about and chatted with)

Surround yourself with those that will lift you up, encourage you and bring you happiness. Ditch the ones that cause you grief or craziness to your life.

Stand up for yourself, if need be with your ex's family and friends or your ex!

Don't give up! Stop making excuses for pushing it off!

Now I know your wondering what's on my list! Well, if your not I'm posting it anyway! BIG SMILE!

Read my Bible- At least 1 chapter a day- 1 book of the Bible a week
Pray more often- Get a prayer journal or notebook
Spend more time with my Love
More 1 on 1 time with my Lil' Squeezes
Play! Family game night
Read my daughter's stories
Exercise (3 to 5 times a week) Trouble right now since my back is out
Drop 10 lbs
Practice Self Defense
Practice shooting (my gun~ I do have a permit and need this for in case my ex comes too close)
Learn Archery
Learn to fish (I hate worms so this will be a big thing for me!)
Learn to gut something we catch
Rent a antique spot for all of my cool stuff!
Buy some storage units
Plan our garden
Order seeds
Order Bee's/Take Bee class first! (See a Dr about an Epi pen in case :) )
Order Buck-eye chicks
Order Lamb (s) *See my friends Mom about raising and other things
Take lots more family pictures!
Craft more! Finish my PH D (Projects Half Done)/Sew clothing! Finish crocheting my blanket!(A lady from church has been teaching me the stitches!
Take a First Aid course
Create a new vision board
Plan my Mom's herb garden
Tape my family history (Grandma)
ACTUALLY read books off my growing bookshelves and sell after I read or just sell others
Write my story!
Make Cheese/Yogurt
Pay off- Kids school book fee's/ Pay something on my student loan (Medical Assistant that I still didn't find a job doing~ GRRFACE!)
Do something off my Big Bucket list!
Learn electrical and woodworking!
Camp out side with the wee monkey (in the yard)

It seems kind of intimidating but these things are do-able!

Research whatever it is if you are unsure. Whether it's opening a business for the first time or leaving your abuser. It takes patience, planning and courage. You can do it! I'm cheering for you! Don't give up!

BIG HUGS
and
PRAYERS
on wherever your journey takes you!