Jess had her baby! She is having some blood pressure issues and I got to be honest it was downright scary.
Her blood pressure skyrocketed which threw her into confusion and a seizure.
I was a blubbery bundle of snot. Don's Aunt and I have grown close during this pregnancy adventure and she kept me grounded. I would have totally lost it had it not been for her.
I am happy to say she is stable, talking and hoping to get out of the hospital soon! We can't wait to have them back at home!
Things are different now. Jess has seemed to literally grown overnight since having the baby. This is the same kid if you recall I talked about giving an exorcism to! I bring this up because so many parents are pulling out their hair due to how kids are behaving, whether acting out or clamming up.
I'm here to tell you it will get better! I had a time believing this would ever happen 7 years ago. I wouldn't have believed how far we've come since our old life. I have mentioned how surreal our life is now probably too many times, but unless you have walked this path you may not understand what I mean.
I still can't get the kids to discuss the past and Alex still has some issues that needs to be addressed that cropped up after her visits with her Dad during 2009/2010. I pray we can someday get help for her and that Jess will also reach out to someone as well.
I met some amazing people over the past few weeks that have lit a fire in my belly to take a leap of faith and start a business again with my first love of antiques! Melody and Mark are super cool couple! Mark is pedaling across the U.S.! Not for a cause but for himself. I was in awe! Melody is documenting his journey. She gave me an impromptu interview which was featured on her blog. I was touched by her kindness that can be found here-
We have caught up with one another during my Fleamarket in June and then we were in Monticello antiquing a few weeks back, we happened to drop in her shop at Cornerstone Antiques. We had a brief discussion on the business and she said some really great pearls of wisdom that stuck with me. She encouraged me to also take that leap of faith to do something I love and enjoy!
The Lord is talking to me through others but sometimes I question Him. I have times where I think is this "Me" or "God" giving me these thoughts.
After talking with my better half about doing something I love, I admitted I wanted to do Estate Sales! We'll still do our Fleamarkets! Also branching out to having our own shop on wheels (Gypsy Trailer- Terry is an awesome handy woodworker!), Pop-up-Market and only the Lord knows what is next for us.
My health is still on the very slow healing side. It's frustrating! I am tired easily and often. It's not uncommon for me to want to nap at the drop of a hat or to even nod off during a conversation with someone (it's embarrassing). I'm hungry all the time so weight loss is not happening.
I tried clean eating and I did feel better but I had to eat often. I still wake up in the middle of the night starving, I have tried eating protein before bed or a big dinner with no help.
I still am labeled with:
Still have back and neck issues
Numbness throughout my body (Pins and needles on steriods!) I did get feeling back in my face finally!
I try not to complain but last month I was just a crunchy mess! The aches, pains and migraines were getting too much. The brain fog merciless. Though I do count my blessings that I know what I have. I need to make an appointment to get a check up. I broke down and took some prescribed pills, Doxy, to give me a boost. My herbal treatments are costly and not covered by insurance so I ration my pills. Which I know is not helpful either.
Things that I can do:
Kick off my shoes and ground myself
Ignore news or stressful situations
Take a bath in Epsom salt
Enjoy my family
Create a Vision board
So, Lyme disease I have been through one bully to deal with a bunch of creepy little ones that seem to invaded every part of my body.
On another topic, child support can be either non-existent or timely. When my ex remarried it seemed like he was doing a good job with payments at least times a month, when his Mom passed he did pay off ALL his behind payments! Now since my last 2 blog posts there has been nothing. Coincidence?
So, am I healed from my previous life?
But I am a whole heck of a lot better then I was back then. I can actually discuss some experiences without crying at the drop of a hat. When I talk to someone about being a Survivor, some people are usually quick to say "I wouldn't have put up with that!", or "You should have left the first time" or "I would have hit him back".
These can be very frustrating to explain to someone that has never been in this situation. It can seem bizarre or dumb to stay in an abusive relationship and not kick this person to the curb.
I admit now I can agree to a degree. And if someone reaches out to me about an abusive situation, I do say leave. But this is easier sad then done.
If you DARE leave you may hear or experience:
He/She may threaten to commit suicide
He/She may threaten to kill you or your kids/family or furbabies
Hire someone to kill you or beat you up
There could be threats to not give you a dime
Leave you with bills
Leave you homeless
Tell everyone your crazy or that you were the abuser
Cut off your health insurance
Take everything from you
Get you fired from your job
Turn your family and friends against you
This is not uncommon and sadly these are things that keeps victims with an abuser. I heard these threats and experienced more. Your not alone! Stay strong Beautiful!
While I talked about awesome folks I have exchanged brief emails with that have been encouraging as they sail their own path as they have left or are leaving or still in the midst of a abusive relationship. Some of those that have reached out to me may never contact me again and that's ok. But there is not a time that doesn't go by that I pray they are safe and on the road to mending wounds.
Wherever you are I'm thinking of you! You too Dearest Blog reader!
Have you read my story? Or are you in an abusive situation or know someone that is? Please share my blog with them so they know they are not alone. That there can be light at end of the tunnel!
BIG HUGS! GOD BLESS!