The first few days after leaving my abuser, I was so distraught and unsure how to proceed. I had no money, my family was kind to offer refuge. But I had no job. No plans and not a clue where to proceed further.
Though I had planned my escape, but neglected to think further about my future. I only focused on breaking free. When I finally settled down after a few weeks I knew I needed to start again and reinvent myself for a new beginning.
I pulled out a notebook and started writing lists! Lists of things to do in the present, things to do in the future and things that needed to be done immediately.
I also made a list of goals, dreams and things I wanted to achieve. I know I have my Bucket List on here and that was right around the time I started my other lists. All of these lists are different for everyone. As no one has the same path, goal or dreams.
I knew I needed to work on important situations; eg., the safety of my children and me! So a Order of Protection was #1 on that list! I had information about local law enforcement, shelter information, began to research how to represent myself legally and what firm grounds did I have to keep my kids. I needed to look for a job in order to have some sort of income and listed friends and family that may or did know someone hiring.
I had a list of things I needed to supply our new apartment that my sister kindly helped decorate and fill a bit. I didn't have dishes, or a coffee pot or groceries. The kids needed supplies for school since I abruptly pulled them out of school.
I moved on to future needful things that were not necessary but a bit of a pipe dream. A new home, car, safety and even for the possibility to live off the grid someone in the woods, as I didn't want another relationship for a long time (Boy! God has a great sense of humor, as my current husband and I began to dating, I was blindsided by that!)
I created my Bucket List with Terry's urging, and I listed things I always wanted to do, see and learn. My lists changed as I grew and became more confident. I felt progress as I scratched off things and sometimes those lists felt very overwhelming!
I created a vision board to reflect wishes for a new life. And over viewing that board 5 years later, much of those things did happen!
Start off small! As this can be too overwhelming, especially if you are already stressed out due to leaving your ex.
Write 5 goals or things to do in immediately, present and future. If you don't get everything done on your list, don't stress out about it, move onto something else. Make a list of silly things that you have always wanted to do, you don't have to call it a Bucket list. Or make a Vision board! Cut out magazines with pictures or positive words that speak to you!
Give yourself a realistic time limit to get these done and again don't stress if they aren't done or you only check off a few things from your list. These things take time. Don't give up and stay strong!
God bless and BIG HUGS!