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Brook, IN, United States
Abuse doesn't stop at the court room. Melinda has shared her battles in her life and through the court room as she navigates through the legal system Bringing encouragement, insight and empowerment to those that are in a abusive relationship. She is in the process of creating a new life, speaking engagements to "Break the Silence" of abuse, while putting a face to abuse. She is currently working on writing a book about her experiences as a Survivor.View short Bio here- https://www.patheos.com/blogs/ahappymedium/2013/02/notbrokenbutbrave/

Thursday, June 28, 2012

It's FINALIZED!

I was so nervous! It's a long story about the hours we were in discussion about several issues that we were not in agreement on:

Who should pay for the uncovered payment of Therapeutic Counseling- I did not think I should since he is the one that brought us to that point.

AND

If he should gain access to the girls school records, school events (Parent/Teacher conference) I believe that he would track us to our home if he knew this information. Either by attending a meeting when we are there or following the kids bus. Contact if an extreme emergency is fine (Life or death situation).

So I have to pay $80 for the counseling. I'll stop whining about this, but still disagree.

And our address and the girls records are PRIVATE! YEA!

When I was asked questions about the counseling and seeing my Son, I tried to make it clear that I want to have a relationship with my Son down the road but believe as long as he is in his fathers care that will not be possible. Also, counseling won't work with us. R will say anything he has to lie.

He lied on the stand that every Protective Order was a lie. He has never harmed us or tried to.

Well the judge didn't buy anything R was saying, due to our last Court appointed counselor  feeling threatened and the GAL was threatened too. Both withdrew from our case.  He was questioned about the Children's Treehouse incident he says Jess lost her cool and it was her fault.

He lied so many times about other issues. I was surprised lightening didn't strike him down!

In the end, he was spanked about contacting me recently with over 120 text messages. He was told that I was done. Our marriage was over and I was not returning. He needed to move on and leave me alone. The judge did say this was one of the worst divorces and rulings he has ever had to make!

He has never had to take parent privilege of knowing where their child goes to school, grades or extra circular activities. He has never had to appoint a Parent Monitor for a family (This person can make decisions for the children if the parents can not get along for whatever reason~ Even decide something as silly as when the child goes to bed!)

We do still have Therapeutic Counseling. The girls with him and my Son with me but that is when the counselor deems it safe to do so. 

The judge did not play favorites when he was stern he did not fail to disclude me in the scolding. I admit I feel that the whole thing is ridiculous that we can NOT Co-Parent as a normal couple. I feel for anyone that has a person in they're life that is unstable physically or mentally. The judge  give me a compliment that he could understand that I was perhaps tired of the situation and the legal system. That he hoped I would get relief as soon as I was able to realize we were finalized. I felt light headed and felt as though I would faint while waiting to hear him make his ruling. I don't think I breathed!

There is more but in a nutshell we are safe... It feels bittersweet.

Of course it's not over between he and I. We have 3 wonderful kids and until they are all of age we will have some kind of connection. Granted it will be guarded and I will always feel cautious! But for the most part it's over! YEA! Scars, bad dreams, panic attacks, anxieties are still here but we are free...

Thank you for sharing my journey. Listening to me ramble, moan and groan.Thank you for lifting me up, praying for us and sharing my story with others....

I pray Dear Reader, if you are in a Abusive relationship that you get out! Before it's too late! Leave a paper trail of the abuse, do NOT let him/her get away with it one more minute! Prepare now! Check out my previous posts on Safety or Leaving your abuser. Tell someone you can trust about the abuse. You are not alone! Thousands of women/men and children are in an abusive situation. You are worthy of so much happiness and joy.

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