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Brook, IN, United States
Abuse doesn't stop at the court room. Melinda has shared her battles in her life and through the court room as she navigates through the legal system Bringing encouragement, insight and empowerment to those that are in a abusive relationship. She is in the process of creating a new life, speaking engagements to "Break the Silence" of abuse, while putting a face to abuse. She is currently working on writing a book about her experiences as a Survivor.View short Bio here- https://www.patheos.com/blogs/ahappymedium/2013/02/notbrokenbutbrave/

Monday, March 26, 2012

Saturdays visitation and court tomorrow

 
Saturday was supervised visitation with the kids Dad. From what I was told it started out well,the Uno cards were being dealt out when J. asked her Dad if they could do something else, like talk. He said that was fine. The other two kids, M. and A., really wanted to play cards. So they started dealing the cards out. J. insisted she really wanted to talk.

So, the fireworks began. There was some small talk, M.'s phone is broken so the girls can not call him and have to call STBX to reach him. J., went on to ask why STBX left her in the hospital, which he denied stating that there was some other issue and he called me to come instead.

She asked him what about when he beat M. with the belt buckle and I intervined, which he denied and M. agreed that never happened. J., was getting really upset about this at this time. The more memories she brought up, the more he denied those things happened.

She did admit to me that she threw some things at STBX. He kept telling her that she sounded like me. That my Facebook and blog were just things used to brainwash kids and tell lies. (HUH? And creepy that he still checks them out.) He complained about me to her. Telling her to "Shush!" She stood her ground and said she will not shush!

She told him that Kalven was her brother (the baby), A. was her sister, M. was her brother, Terry was her Father and he (STBX) was dirt! He mentioned that I probably put her up to it. She retorted that "If Mom knew I was doing this I would have apologized in advance to her about it." She told A. that she was going to go and for A. to come with. As A. got up J. grabbed her arm and STBX grabbed the other, which started a tug-o-war with A.. Both M. and A. were quiet. STBX told her he was fighting for "Full custody" of both of the girls. J. threw a deck of cards and birthday cards at STBX, and at that time a Security Officer came in and removed the girls from the room. I was told afterwards M. cried. (That breaks my heart.)

The girls were into the waiting room and I was called to return to pick them up. I was at the local fruit market and hurried to pick them up. I was told there was a arguement and I needed to get them now! I was almost there when they called again that J. was hyperventilating. I was boxed in the turn lane with 4 cars in front of me and a few in back of me, so I had no wiggle room to get around any of the cars.

By the time I ran into the building, J. was totally out of it. She was writhing on the couch, her hands and legs were like stiff boards, her eyes were in back of her head, she was screaming "NO!" and "Don't touch me!". I gave the baby to A. and tried to calm J. down but she wouldn't come back. The Officer asked if I wanted an ambulance, but I asked if I could try to calm her down. After several minutes the Officer stated he was going to call an ambulance and I nodded in agreement.

It seemed like forever before the ambulance arrived and even after that J. had fought the ambulance workers, she was moaning "No!", crying and "Don't!". The baby was getting teary eyed for his sister. A. looked like a frightened kitten but she was in control.

I was able to get a little bit about what happened when they were loading her on the ambulance. SIGH!
At the hospital she calmed down after about 15 mins or so. A woman from Behavior services came down to talk with J. and myself. After about 3 hours we were referred to a Psychartrist and counselor. I have called to get an appointment for both girls. A. needs to see the counselor for sure.

I was told to let J., she didn't need to worry about custody. Also future supervised visits would be cancelled and Theraputic Therapy is in order (I'm not thrilled with them seeing him at all but as the Father I would hope one day they would have some sort of positive relationship, STBX does need to get help, first and to stick with it). J. is sad that she did not get a chance to tell M. thank you for the card and she loved him. (That made me sad)

So we have our Status hearing tomorrow. I'm still nervous. It is only 15 mins or so long but it will seem like an eternity before and during. My stomach is already in knots! I plan on heading to Bible study in the morning for about a hour and then stopping to get the sitter for Mini Man. I won't sleep at all! I'm thinking of putting a Positive affirmation CD on tonight. Terry has calmed me down quite a bit. We had movie day/night. I pulled my back and need to take it easy. I don't think I could get much done with so much on my mind.

I don't believe he will be allowed our physical address. I pray the judge will see to it that it is kept confidential. I would hope to get divorced too! Oh my gosh! I really hope the judge would just finalize the darn thing by now. Please pray for the girls (Jess, Alex and Matt) and brother, also for STBX (Rob).

Thanks for listening. It is always something around here...

I ask that if you know someone that is in a DV situation please lend an ear or shoulder. Help them get to a shelter or a safe way out. Of course you can not force a person to leave they're abusive relationship but you can listen. Don't stay silent anymore! Many blessings to you!

HUGS!
Mel


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