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Brook, IN, United States
Abuse doesn't stop at the court room. Melinda has shared her battles in her life and through the court room as she navigates through the legal system Bringing encouragement, insight and empowerment to those that are in a abusive relationship. She is in the process of creating a new life, speaking engagements to "Break the Silence" of abuse, while putting a face to abuse. She is currently working on writing a book about her experiences as a Survivor.View short Bio here- https://www.patheos.com/blogs/ahappymedium/2013/02/notbrokenbutbrave/

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Losing his marbles

The girls and I were briefly discussing they're "New friend" Linda, the GAL on the case and we would be making an appointment to see her at her office soon that happens to be next to a great chocolate place in Valpo!

Out of the blue, A. recalled that we used to have a mancala game. Now this is really a break through! She never wants to remember any past events!

She recalls that she had took it upon herself to play by herself no one else wanted to play with her. Everyone else was doing other things, I was at the store. Eventually she was bored and looked for something interesting to do, she found blue gloves, one had a hole in it so she stuffed all the pieces in the other glove. She put the glove in the cabinet in the kitchen, she doesn't remember what her motive was, she thinks it was just to be silly and or safe keeping or hidden treasures type of thing. J. and M. weren't interested in what she did.So, she started to watch TV and forgot about it.

Out of the blue Dad wanted to play Mancala or she bugged him to play it. So she got the game out and forgot she about the glove. He looked in the box and said where are all the pieces and he said can you find them? She started to look around for them. He said "Well can you all look for them?" A. remembers looks at the TV cabinet and J. said she was doing it wrong, M. looked by the window and then Dad was really mad, he was looking for them himself but he never left the chair. He told them to look elsewhere. You can tell he was frustrated, his face was red.By this time she says I got home and he informed me that someone lost all the Mancala pieces and did I know where they went to? I said I didn't know.

He called all the kids together, she still didn't remember where that she hid them. He exploded if you don't find those **!!%%@@ Mancala pieces blah, blah, blah! A. says at that time she remembered I was scared and putting groceries away and I was getting more nervous. She said she spoke up and said she hid them! She looked and looked and could not recall where she left them. She checked in M.'s room, the front room, dining room, and all the while he was exploding louder and louder. She started crying. She said she was on the stairs and I looked scared and I told her to try to remember and she cried longer and harder because she was scared. Dad was barking his head off. J. and M. were frustrated at her. M. and J. were looking all over. We already searched in most of the cupboards looking for them but did not find them quickly. She checked on the kitchen and then she went to cry and Dad was yelling really loud and she said I was worried, J. and M. fled into the front room. She was wimpering on the stairs trying to recall what she did with them. She had the idea to look in the cabinet! She dodged around him yelling at me and found the glove! Oh my gosh, she said! Thank goodness! She could hear J. and M. saying what? They came out of the front room slowly.

Dad was still yelling at me and A. said it loudly for the 4th time that she found the marbles! She felt so proud. Dad picked up the glove, he said  "Why on earth did you put them in this glove." She had to explained herself, no one wanting to play with her, and then finding the gloves and putting them away to play hidden treasure with her brother and sister. (She believes we were looking for 3 hours). He told her "You should know not to do that!" He sent her to her room and he sat on the couch and watched MASH. He dissed the whole incident as though nothing happened.

She remembers that I came up to the bedroom to thank her for remembering where she hid them. I gave her a hug, kiss and told her it would be OK. Dad called me so I left the room. J and M went to watch SpongeBob. After an hour in the room she stopped crying, she went downstairs to look around, Dad yelled it was ok for her to come out. She crept down the stairs Dad was on the couch and I was somewhere else, something with papers at the table. He got up and walked to the table where he stood over me, still seemed frustrated about something but he calmed down about the Manacala incident. She quickly shuffled into the Front room with M. and J. to watch T.V.

I have been encouraging them to remember what they can about the events we experienced in order to help with healing. All of these things seem so foreign to me now. I have shared that with Terry and my sisters. It almost seems like it was an alternate life. I guess in a sense it was!

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