A little about me
- Brook, IN, United States
- Abuse doesn't stop at the court room. Melinda has shared her battles in her life and through the court room as she navigates through the legal system Bringing encouragement, insight and empowerment to those that are in a abusive relationship. She is in the process of creating a new life, speaking engagements to "Break the Silence" of abuse, while putting a face to abuse. She is currently working on writing a book about her experiences as a Survivor.View short Bio here- https://www.patheos.com/blogs/ahappymedium/2013/02/notbrokenbutbrave/
Thursday, June 2, 2011
God's Free Will
Though I try or pray, I know that I can not just think that person into better behavior or a better relationship. People are who they are. Changing someone to fit your needs is not a good choice. You may end up with a fight or struggle on your hands!
I prayed desparately for changing loved ones and realize I can not do this. I give it to God to change they're hearts or behavior patterns. He alone can do that. He alone can work in the hearts of those I love. It may not be for me! It may not end up with a happy scenerio in the end. No warm fuzzy or tears. All one can do is keep hope, give it to God to take off your shoulders.
Ok, maybe I do end up in the corner rocking slowly hugging my legs or perhaps I'm just weepy and snot faced much of the time or maybe I stuff my face full of something tasty to ease my burden. I do not get any satisfaction from these things. I do not get satisfaction talking it over with family or friends because, as kindly as they listen, they are not in my shoes. I appreciate and love them to death for listening to me ramble and whine but they can only do so much.
I hate sounding like a broken record!
I don't like myself for allowing myself to feel sorry for me. At least that is what someone said recently. It shut me up in a heartbeat! Of course STBX said things similar about me feeling sorry and what do I have to be worried or upset about? My life isn't hard? WAH! That was the tone. I felt so crappy but on the other hand, perhaps I do need to harden myself more. I'm not sure.
I wear my heart on my sleeve, those close to me know in a split second something is wrong with me by just a glance. Dang my emotions! GRRFACE!
And dang "Free will"! If he would just do this or do that! Or if he would have just seen what this or that did to me by hurting me emotionally or whatever...