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Brook, IN, United States
Abuse doesn't stop at the court room. Melinda has shared her battles in her life and through the court room as she navigates through the legal system Bringing encouragement, insight and empowerment to those that are in a abusive relationship. She is in the process of creating a new life, speaking engagements to "Break the Silence" of abuse, while putting a face to abuse. She is currently working on writing a book about her experiences as a Survivor.View short Bio here- https://www.patheos.com/blogs/ahappymedium/2013/02/notbrokenbutbrave/

Friday, April 8, 2011

I was going to let this go...

I believe in a few posts back I mentioned receiving a email from my STBX. Armed with a few emails from his forward, I wrote to these people. Whether it was a good idea at the time or not this is the note I found later while checking my trash. (I blocked STBX from my primary and have provided him with another email address to save my nerves). This is what I sent to those on his list-
Sent: Sat, March 26, 2011 1:21:23 PM
Subject: Hi I'm Melinda
Hope you are all having a wonderful day! I am a Survivor of Domestic Abuse, I'm 40 years old with 4 kids, live in Griffith, IN. One of which I have not been able to have a civil word with since he started to live with his Father. Matt is 15 now and I miss him terribly! I have 3 other kiddos that are 13, 11 and 6 months. I am hoping to finally be divorced from my abuser who has still using emotional and mental abuse. I wish him only happiness and to find love like I have with someone else. Sorry to sound like a commercial! I am a real person!

Currently I am trying to help anyone that needs abuse assistance, just to be a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to. If you know anyone that may need help please direct them to me via email or check out hopewhentherewasnone.blogspot.com.

BIG HUGS!
Melinda

This is a response he wrote to a lady named Jennifer (her email address is snipped from here) I'm sure she does not need any trouble. But interesting that she forwarded my email to STBX. Anyway here is his response to her. Reads like he is talking to me at the same time while talking to her...
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Hi. I am Rob.
A survivor of a very abusive wife. And am still being tormented buy her
Melindas son acs the way he does because he was hit buy melindas boy freind Terrence . So hard that his arm went numb for two weeks. When he went to melinda she told him no he did not. Great job mom. Then because he refused to call terry dad like he was instructed to do buy melinda. Let's see it was less then a month after you left right? And because Matt wanted to return home with me. She called me up and said matthew was in a fight at school in peotone ill and that he hurt some kids and the school said that if he dosent get help for abusive and anger they would press charges. Well I was nieve and in love and hoping to have a recosiliation. I did not realize melinda was so abusive. So mentally ill so destructive. That she fabricated the story and we where really putting are son in the mental ward. Because he did not want to be with melinda. And he would not call terry dad. And he was not having anything to do with her crap. Melinda allen forgot that are kids are not things. She had her plans and dame all those in her way. She falsy put are son in hospital so she could stand in front of the judge and say her son is violent and destructive. And matthew can not be trusted with his sisters. Great job mom. Oh melinda can you say control freak.
So all you know she loves Matt so much. She wanted to stop him from serving the lord. On his mission trip to Scotland. Basically she signed it because the judge was going to.
Then she loved him so much she would not give a dollar to his trip. And only tried a pathetic attempt to look like she was a good mom buy saying I love you and have a nice trip. If what she is doing to her son is love. That might ex plane why she told are son the other day tell dad I love him.
Let's see
Oh yes she. Melinda told Matts grandma. Well basically the campos side to not talk or have anything to do with Matt. Her hole side stopped talking to Matt. And did not even call to say have a nice trip. Nothing. And let's see oh yea. She reported two of his face books. As death threats. She has are daughter Jessica talking to him in that I am a victim shouting you down voice.
All I can say is jess and alex where coming over all the time melinda even dropped all the kids in my driveway and said I know you'll be fine. Buy.
Oh that's right I suddenly was a different guy. No. She just wanted to go on vacation with her bf.
Their is so much she has done to Matt.
The girls are the ones who have gotten meaner and angryer. Oh that's right they live with mom. Well you can here the abusivness in her e mail. I wonder why they are so angry at me. It can't be me I have only seen them 10 times in 2 years.
And so you know I had Matt ready to talk with melinda several times. She kept on refusing. It basically boils down to this. She loves the attention. She loves playing the victim. She loves and needs to have the fight with Matt. It works for her. To hell if it destroys her son and are daughters. Melinda allen has a plan. It was to divorce me and make me out to be a destroyer. To b with terry kunts and for my kids to no longer see me. And for them to live all happy.
But god said no. So she files false reports. Destroys her sons caricature. And turns are daughters into lying manipulative angry kids. Good job mel.
Oh that's right. Melinda also had 3 ladies come to peoton and try to talk Matt into staying with her and told him how bad he was to do what he is doing. And how he is hurting his mom. And that dad does not love him and is trying to get rid of him. Great job mom.
Well I am sure melinda will come up with more and I will tell you the truth to her delusions. Like when her bf pulled up to are son just a few weeks ago and took Matts pic and then said 'now your dead you little fucker""
Or when she went up to Matt and said I love you Matt and tell dad I love him to and I want to come home but terry is holding me and hw has threatened my life if I leave. And I did not want the baby but I was forced to have it.
Oh yea melinda had a baby boy with bf. And as fare as Matt was concerned melinda replaced him. so all you know she is the one that prolonged the divorce because of her desire to have control.
If anyone want to here more let me know
Here is hoping non of you fall victim to the rantings of an abuser. Buy listening to her lies. Remember she has told so many some of which could land her in jail. So she can't come clean now.
Thanks all. Robert
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

From: Jennifer @yahoo.com>
Date: Thu, 31 Mar 2011 07:37:18 -0700 (PDT)
To: <melnrob5
Subject: Fw: Hi I'm Melinda

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Seriously! I can challenge all of these things. BUT as you can see my Gaslighter has still lot changed. I can never replace my 1st son. Impossible! If you have ever had a child, it is not easy to lose a child. I miss him terribly! I never made the kids call Terry Dad, he is not that to them, even now the girls still call him Terry.

Our son was in trouble with the school and he got it partially right. I did not put him in a mental ward, he was evaluated by the staff and it was found he needed some help. They do not just put anyone in this place, if that were the case I would have STBX in there a long time ago! His family wanted to do so, but they found that there were too many hoops to jump through in order to do so.  Also this was covered under STBX's insurance so he had to sign off on this! NOT ME! I visited him just about everyday! STBX was asked to leave by our son because he was upsetting him.

I never went to the judge and said anything about our son being destructive. My attorney wouldn't allow me to talk much at all. I left in Feb of 2009, I returned our son back to STBX with heavy heart in July, that does not make a month after we left STBX.

I did not know about the trip to Scotland right away, STBX's Mom told me and swore me not to say anything because I wasn't supposed to know! She would get in trouble if STBX found out she told. (Ususual) I could not afford to send any money. I called  our son 2 days before he left for his trip and I wished him a good trip, reminded him to take his meds, to have a great time and to be careful/stay with his group. He did call me back (I was at work) and he just yelled at me, reminding me he was not my son anymore.

My side can not afford to much, my Grandma is in her 80's. Why my family did not contribute is because of money and they were mailed a letter 2 weeks before the trip. The dollar amount stated was too much and our son called his Grandpa and just left a message about how terrible I was. My Dad had enough!

The girls are wonderful! They have flourished by leaps and bounds! I do not talk poorly about STBX around them. If STBX has not seen the girls it is his own doing, he can call for supervised visits anytime as long as his Mom has it open on her date book.

Our son has my cell number, email address and he texts me. Of course they all involve some made up meeting we had at the laundry mat, in which I supposedly said Terry is holiding us hostage... ROTFL!

I do have a plan, it is to never be alone with STBX again, it is to not see him if I can help it again, my plan is to lead a normal life without STBX. The girls are more then welcome to call or see him, I leave it to them. I will not force them, the GAL told me not to force it, so I haven't.STBX wrote to the GAL that he would sign over his parental rights to the girls because he was not getting his way. Some loving Dad...

I have no clue what ladies would talk our son into staying. That is another fabrication. I have to scratch my head. The event between our and Terry? Kind of true. Our middle daughter felt uncomfortable about being followed by our son, I was napping with the baby. Terry answered and he went to find J. He did see M sitting on his bike by the elementary school. He did take a picture but he did not say what STBX says he did. Was I there? No. But Terry has a important job and he does not want to jeopardize that with anything like that!

Prolonged divorce? STBX showed his anger and this started the long process of the divorce, also if he hadn't mentioned the baby we could have set finalizing into motion. He opened his mouth which set us back further. Lake County orders paternity testing if a woman is preggers. I wasn't huge so I thought we could slide. Nope not STBX, he was upset that he would have to pay for the baby. Which brought up paternity.

I am a survivor, not a victim. I have no rantings. I have experiences that I wish never happened. I have memories from a time I would rather forget. I have 3 little wonders that came out of that union which makes me happy!

I want nothing more then to be left alone from STBX. I do not believe any of the kids should see STBX at all. I would rather our son be placed with other family. As for me abusing STBX. I wish I did stand up to him! I wish I did punch or fight back! Perhaps it would have saved for alot of grief now. I only want him to be a better parent now. He needs to be on meds. He was diagnosed with many things~ I have his medical records that openly say "HE" was abusive to me. He was admitted to the same hospital he is talking about with our son. He was checked in 3 times for suicide attempts after I left.

Our daughter was checked in here as well. She wanted to kill herself. She was 10. I found out later, STBX drilled into her head that if I left it would be her fault. It would be her fault for driving the family apart. What sick bastard does that? The kids were not supposed to tell about what went on while I was away working at the antique shop. He is a low life. Of which I know I have forgiven him. I do hate him, and after listening to a sermon last Sunday it bothered me because Pastor mentioned hating your brother. And you can not love God if you hate someone.

I talked to Terry about it, he asked if I truly hated STBX, I said, no. He said you hate the behavior more then the person? I hadn't thought of it that way! I feel better! I am still getting text messages about Terry holding us hostage. I replied back yestreday that STBX needed to do something more productive and I could tell when he was home from work... SHEESH!

So next week on Wednesday is the next hearing, cross your fingers for us! The girls have to talk to the judge. I did get paternity results back so I can bring those too!




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