It was like a eureka moment when I realized why my middle daughter hates having her face covered. I was taken back to a day when my STBX was arguing with me and he was threatenin to kill my daughter unles I stopped being disobedient. The details of the fight is fuzzy but I remember seeing her little legs and arms flail, her eyes grew big and her little face was so red! I, of course begged and obeyed.
This nasty habit of holding the kids noses and mouth was something that happened from time to time. Punishments from tame to extreme. But by whose defination? After many of our "incidents" STBX would seem to magically forget why this or that happened. Seeing a bruise on me or one of the kids would give him a blank confused look and trying to tell him that he did it was like talking to a brick wall. Pinching, pulling their hair, little things as to not draw attention to a bruise. Easy to hide under clothes.
I didn't doubt that he knew exactly what he was doing. After we left there are accusing words from some people that said I was making things up. Why did you stay then? Almost a snicker, couldn't have been that bad. Or I would have told someone!
One can say those words but once you have lived in the situation you can not tell me what you would do. Walk a mile in my shoes... I still have nightmares from time to time. Last night I dreamed STBX was chasing me. Hunting me down from place to place in some small town. I'm not even sure where it was but I know he was looking for me. People were trying to hide me but he kept finding me. He almost caught me a few times, just a hair away from getting me.
I'm thinking I dreamt that because of the call I was told I received at work. Some man looking for me, stating I had paperwork for him, was I in a accident? Was there paperwork fom an atty for him at the desk? Very bizarre since I have no paperwork or nor was I in an accident... I have a guess of who it was, No big surprise.
I would love for his obessesion would be gone, that he would move on. Many of his threats of how he would "take care of me" if I were to ever leave him still ring in my ears. I still look around my shoulder, making sure I am safe. Sad and pitiful but I am still alive... And the girls are better then they have been. I wish my son was here with me but it sounds like he is being taken care of well. I do pray that he is and that he is good, perhaps someday we can reunite, but I won't push it until he's ready...
A little about me
- Brook, IN, United States
- Abuse doesn't stop at the court room. Melinda has shared her battles in her life and through the court room as she navigates through the legal system Bringing encouragement, insight and empowerment to those that are in a abusive relationship. She is in the process of creating a new life, speaking engagements to "Break the Silence" of abuse, while putting a face to abuse. She is currently working on writing a book about her experiences as a Survivor.View short Bio here- https://www.patheos.com/blogs/ahappymedium/2013/02/notbrokenbutbrave/